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Discussion tangents - Get HAPPY

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Posted

Carol posted a cute little discussion over the weekend that somehow turned into a blood bath. Carol protested by suggesting that the tangent of that discussion and the subsequent argument that ensued thereafter was perfect grounds to not include groups in the coming gays.com.

It is my personal opinion--in which I am unanimous--that discussions often may lead to differences in opinion. It is true that I have seen several discussions here go off on the wildest of tangents and even side discussions, but I believe that that is a healthy part of communication.

Where things go wrong is when healthy communication turns into name calling, insults, and an overall lack of respect for differing view points.

In Facebook, where there is no such thing as "discussion groups," I was engaged in a debate a few years ago which began when I posted a YouTube video. An old classmate of mine felt offended by my personal opinion and began a violent attack against me until finally asking me to remove the original post, which I did as soon as he requested it and would have done so from the get go had he done that initially. It was this debate that fueled the cold war between me and my sister-in-law and led to my blocking her altogether on facebook. Hence, I see little consequence to not having discussion groups here.

What is important to keep in mind is that people need to respect the opinions of others, even those that differ from their own Therein lies the problem. I had a discussion on here quite recently, and somebody made a very offensive, unprovoked comment in the discussion. Another user reacted to the comment. I actually thought for a few hours before I posted a responding comment, and I actually complimented the person who wrote the offensive comment. I said something positive about him, and his reaction to my response was very positive and respectful.

When it comes to religion and certain political views, I have very strong opinions. I am perfectly willing to engage in dialogue with anybody who may have opinions different from my own provided that person respects me and my opinions. My best friend and I have polar opinions on a subject about which my own opinions are heatedly strong, but we have agreed that we disagree, and it does not affect our friendship. I love to talk with people who have different opinions from my own. I can learn something from them, but only if they are rational and logical.

I believe strongly that communication is a crucial and vital part of this website and should be encouraged rather than dispelled of, but the bottom line is that we must be able to respect one another's opinions. If a person cannot do that, he should just hold his tongue.


Tristram_Goncalves
Posted

Are you unanimous Mrs. Slocombe? I guess I will have to become a nun with a vow of silence.


Posted

Interesting, been lots of times its happened here but that is what discussion does, as for tangents carol did it too in ella's discussion tags.& labels by asking for my opinion.
On facebook no longer in united lgbt earth group, and even andrew that posts material about pussy riot and russia lgbt activities are banned, to political for those that like pink handbags and dresses.
Tristam you become a nun and enter a convent,myself & Tommy and others will come and save you drag you back here, your one of us,and your contribution in discussions is important.
Last year in the rainbow lounge jony posted a discussion the aim was to let it wander,think it got to 42pages,that was fun,you look at girls group bet you they are still playing "smash or pass".
Carol & debbie both prefer here discussion is important to them, on fb its a like site, bet you if i looked at tommy page its guys with next to nothing on,trains,or even art, lots of nice picks.
What is on mine witchcraft,human rights ,peace movement, pussy riot, and various pics of nice women, and game of thrones,and amongst my likes pride events which i hope to be going to again like last year, last year it was 7pride events, this year maybe 9events, that to me is fun.


Posted

@Jack
Thank you for a very well thought out, well expressed articulate post!
I guess what is needed is a way for members to not take everything that is said that opposes their view as a personal attack...and also not to attack personally.

For example, one can say I disagree with what you said, because XYZ means, ABC to me. I would suggest that perhaps you look at it from ABC angle and tell me your thoughts.

This is much better than telling someone, they're wrong, they don't know what they are talking about and then adding some few choice derogatory labels.

No one is wrong for having an opinion, but if that opinion is backed with any type of slur...then the opinion gets lost and the "attacked" only focusses on the slur.

Tangents are good, if the discussions remain healthy. Are they good if it turns in to a "blood bath"?

Perhaps it's not the tangents that causes the blood bath...but indeed the blood bath that causes the tangents.

What do you all think?


Posted

Interesting tara, bamboozle your opponents with math,funny,
L=π,G=√ what is the value of I.
Sometimes it is confusing enough american english is different from english and when one has to translate a word the meaning can ne different.
Think would real friends insult and post hate deliberately, especially on here even though there the same as others here, prefer same -sex, it seems to only happen online and is a problem on here, many are more interested in cut & paste, then shouting about nothing.
A friend of mine on here users the "f" word, he is from poland, and because he is gay,has seen hate by catholic church against him,he now understands we use the f word for fun, sex.
Not all hate us,see that little word us,that should be remembered, us is just not you tara, but includes myself and friends, so if you dont understand then ask dont just assume.
as for blood letting thats just fun and life.


Posted

American English=math
British English=maths

Ailean, are you aware that I'm a Brit? A Londoner at that!


Posted

I often say that people who have strong opinions tend to base their opinions on their emotions and not on rational thought. With those people, you just can't carry a decent discussion because they never will be able to understand an opinion not their own--so I try not to bother with such people. I am willing to engage in a dialogue with someone whose opinion differs from my own only if said person can think rationally. (I don't think it's a male thing but a human attribute.) In the end, I accepted my sister-in-law's friend invite on Facebook, but I realized this morning that it was probably opening a can of worms because now I have to watch every little thing I say there so as not to get her riled up.

@Tristram, Captain Peacock, I would have expected from you a crack about my pussy.


Posted

Yes tara a brit born and bred, your mum is in england and your g/f is american, and you still have a problem with gaels, wallace.& bruce had that too.
Sometimes its where you are, uk wind rain ice snow.
Barcelona :sun.warm temperatures,nice beaches not far away as is salou,and port aventura theme park,that sounds nice & happy place to be.


Posted

Jack,that facebook thing can be embaressing,,that happened to me, facebook posted something that took a year to sort. , now have no family on my page, talk with my sisters via gmail.
Not even friends from work have access to me
No longer can anyone see ailean is on gays. com,anyway was seen on u-tube by sister at pride events.
discussions can be emotional sometimes i hurt some but its not meant,people take it the wrong way, but then we are all human & different, the only link is lgbt community is the one we identify with.
many of us feel hurt by hate,we had it for years, not just from anti gay groups but also authorities where gay baiting was a sport.
said this before : in glasgow out with s'8 friends, got drunk, anyway passing bennets late at night when a guy stumbled into my friends, they thought it funny beat the poof.up! tried to stop it,ended up putting my friends on the deck, then going home with no friends anymore, they did not know about me, even today its the same, anyway who cares nobody. Yet i do like meeting tommy at leeds Pride in england even for just a few hrs,he really is a nice friend.


Tristram_Goncalves
Posted

@Jack, do you have a pussy? I have a huge pussy that likes to be petted all night long and is warm and wonderful. My Yverose is 20lbs. of muscular Maine Coon cat, and a beautiful rescue that is very loving. And I am unanimous in that!


Posted

So you confessed at last you like pussy!
Ha! Me to i have two pussies, that will get a few laughs, there very affectionate, just love waking you up for food at dawn even on a sunday, but i would miss ciao &treacle if they were not here with me.
what would we do without our pets, they mean so much to us.


Tristram_Goncalves
Posted

I love my pussy. At one time I had nine pussies. My kids kept bringing home strays and knew how to play me just by showing me the poor, sweet kitty, I had four by myself after they grew up but now I only got one. The are the best unconditional love in the universe.


Michael_Denne_63855
Posted

You guys are hilarious… I am unanimous in that too…Mr Humphries ….!!!


Michael_Denne_63855
Posted

I love my pussy cats…I am a LEO.. having had a beautiful chocolate coloured Burmese cat in past ..but I do miss my beagle cross dog Bella. She is adorable creature … I had to adopt her out to guy 200 kms north of here in Launceston Tasmania - also a gays.com member. The local council here took umbrage at house here having 3 dogs and 2 cats…only allowed 2 dogs otherwise you must register for "kennel licence". I share house visible in some of my pics with straight lady friend. This all reminds me of Sheldon Cooper's "Soft Kitty, Warm Kitty, little ball of fur…Happy Kitty ..sleepy Kitty …purr purr purr"…? See here …. http://www.sheldonsfans.com/quote-215-soft-kitty-warm-kitty-little-ball-of-fur.html

Posted

Ailean, Ailean, are you not of the British Isles born? The pussy to which I referred in my previous comment was in response to Tristram's reference to Mrs. Slocumb of the English program "Are You Being Served?" Sh always made comments about her big, hairy pussy (of the feline sort). My grandmother was into it, and my dear, heterosexual grandmother could do a mean Mr. Humphreys. "Mens wea'."


Tristram_Goncalves
Posted

@Michael, I used to have a mother and daughter that were a mix, the mother Maine Coon and Tonkinese, and the daughter's father was Russian Blue, they were beautiful and in direct sunlight you could see their chocolate stripping. The best dog I ever had was a Timber Wolf-German Shephard mix who was wonderful and sweet. Love the whole cast!


Posted

@jack, british isles, a geographical term which used to include england, scotland, wales, & ireland, also channel islands & isle of man. Now the geo-politcal map is changed, this term caused the loss of a close good friend from this site, he is a republican and from eire, richard ivers,or trooper, his loss is one i will regret but i am a witch and pagan & communist, a citizen of alba, (Scotland )& a member of the rainbow community. So think we all better avoid using british isles term.
as for mrs slocum,never saw much of that program, preferred rik mayal as allan bastard, or cris barrie as brittas,in the brittas empire, check that one out on u-tube


Michael_Denne_63855
Posted

What about Daffyd Thomas in "Little Britain" ..the "only gay in the village" ? Now there IS a character ? See what I mean here =&gt http://youtu.be/KrlzaBNgz-M

Posted

Dont know mike lots of programs made fun of gay people like they suffered from mental problem.
warren mitchell as alf garnet was fun but poked fun & insults at everything now they dont have programs like that due to phobia correctness in tv & film.


Michael_Denne_63855
Posted

DId you look at the video clip… even though it borders on satirical I am not offended as I can get a luagh out of the skits Mat Lucas & David Williams perform.
I agree the character of Alf Garnett was that of a simple bigoted racist from a time I'd rather forget. I Some of the Little Britain stuff is challenging to watch… I just shut my eyes ! By and large though I think its a hoot and ache in delight after laughing so much .. even at gay stereotypes portrayed. I feel it is a sign of maturity to be able to look in the mirror and laugh at yourself… as if to say "is that really me?" When I say "yes it is" I have to laugh and admit it. That to me is funny and I do not mind being stirred a little - I usually give an equal amount back !!!
The interaction we having here now I find stimulating and is why I think GROUPS on this site are so crucial to allowing people of all ages and backgrounds to express themselves, even if we vehemently disagree on some issues.
Maybe we all end up by agreeing to disagree ?


Posted

Cannot access utube or even faceboom at times use phone internet


Michael_Denne_63855
Posted

Ok that is a real pity.


Posted

Ok. Thanks. I stand corrected on the British Isles thing. Never would have thought people could find it offensive, but I love that line from trainspotting about the Scottish. Just love it. I saw that movie only once in the theatre, so you can guess how long ago that was, and the only two things I remember are when that guy went into the toilet and the line about the Scottish. I'm of English, Irish, Scottish, Dutch, and German descent, and I mostly relate to my Irish heritage. Brendan Behan once wrote: Other people have a nationality. The Jews and the Irish have a psychosis. Yep, that is I to a tee.


Posted

I have to say many times a topic goes out the window when in these groups and honestly I don't really mind as long as it is all good fun but when I see arguments and personal attacks that is when I say enough.
I have been just as guilty as anyone to stray from the topic and I'd like to apologise for that.


Posted

Stray, Carol, stray.



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