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Sam_Marie

this was a paper i had to do for a class. - Your WRITES

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My name is Samantha Marie McMillian. I go by Sam or Sammie. I am19. I was born on December 30th 1993 in Chicago Illinois. I have lived in 5 different states. Here’s how it all started. Living in Chicago was really rough. My dad always worked and my older brother Jason and I were always home with my mom. I was 5 and Jason was 6. My mom was abusive from the start. I didn’t have a room. My room was a small closet with a lock on it. One morning my brother and I decided to runaway. So we did. We only went across the street to the beach but we thought it was far away. My dad found us and had the cops tell us not to do it again. I got blamed for it. So I got the punishment. The next day we did it again only we got caught in the act. Still I got blamed. I don’t remember much more about Chicago. From there we moved to Sumter SC were we started school. I don’t remember much from there either. We were only there for 2 years.
From there we moved to Palmerton PA. We lived there for a while until our house burnt down and we moved to Lehighton PA. This is where the trouble really started. My dad had cheated on my mom and they were always fighting. The punishments got worse and there was more pain. She had gotten into a car accident and messed up her back (my mom) so she wasn’t that much of a mom anymore. She had my dad giving me mostly the beatings. When I was 9 the sexual abuse started. First with my mom then my dad. Over time my dad didn’t stop. The thing I remember most was on August 24th at 4:00. My neighbor broke into our house with a machete (type of sword) and tried killing me and my family. He broke in the upstairs door. My bedroom had 2 doors in it one leading into my brothers and the other lead to his unfinished attic. We were all down stairs when he broke in. It took 3 tazer shots and 6cops to get him fully down. After he had gotten taken away and the cops were gone my family and I went to look at his attic. On the other side of the door was a red rose and about 6 feet of ribbon hanging from a nail. So I guess he had been watching me. After that happened my brother and I could no longer go up stairs with out either our mom or dad. We ended up moving to Indiana. Things still did not get better. Sense I’ve been in Indiana we have lived in over 10 different places. I didn’t do well in school and I was taken out right before the 5th grade ended. My mom told the state that she was going to home school me and never did. She had me staying home and to take care of my little sister (Kira). The 3rd place we moved to my mom started getting into drug. It started with pot. There was a lot of trouble with the people down the street and at one point there was a huge fight with my mom and this other girl. After her and her husband got divorced my mom stared sleeping with him (Danny). My mom was so convinced that I wanted to get with him. I was only like 12 or 13. While with him she met this other guy named Joey. He was 17 at the time (I was 13). My mom started doing more pot and did many different kinds of pills. Things got serious with Joey. She let him do whatever he wanted. He beat on me and she allowed it. Then he stared being on my mom. She still took him back. After he turned 18 she got pregnant by him. He still beat on her and me. After awhile we got behind on rent and had to move. We moved to Bristol Indiana. They just did more and more drugs. When my little brother (Joey Jr.) was about 6 months I started taking care of him. Feeding him, changing his diaper, getting him to bed. Things still didn’t work out there either. It was my mom and dad Joey Kira Joey Jr. and me living in the house. My dad started beating me there. I’ve had 2 black eyes and many bruise from him. But I couldn’t tell anymore because I was never aloud to go anywhere and I didn’t go to school. We ended up moving again. In a placed we lived in there was even more fighting. There was a time when a fight got so bad my dad had stabbed Joey. The cops to pictures but Joey did not press charges. And of course we moved again. Only this time my mom started doing meth. There would be times when she would be gone for hours at a time. Id runaway more and at one point I had a stand off with the cops. I had a knife and I just wanted to be done with my life but I didn’t do it. I was sent to a mental hospital for 10 days. I was on a medication called Welbutrin it was an anti-depressant and it had really bad side effects like anger. I didn’t like how my life was going to I had taken 3 or 4 of them and I got mad at every little thing. So my mom offered me meth. And that was the first time I had tried it. I got hooked. But I couldn’t always go it because of Joey. So one night I took about 12 of my welbutrin. After a few I started really trippin. I heard voices and saw spiders everywhere and I would feel them on my legs and I would hear them falling off my ceiling. It was horrible I had gotten no sleep and my dad was going to be up at 5 for work. I didn’t tell him what I did I just said I was seeing things. He thought I had finally gone crazy. That morning I was sick. Barely had any sleep. Even though it was a horrible I tried doing it again but I just got sick. One morning my mom and I had gotten into a big fight and she told me to leave and so I did. I had gone to a friend’s house and we ended up calling the cops and the cops just took me back. I was not about to go back so I started freaking out right there and the cop put me in hand cuffs and taken me to my parents friends house for the night. While there I looked up places I could go instead of home. I had found a place call the safe station in south bend. I went there and I was there for 3 weeks and I had called my grandma and asked her if I could stay with her. She said I could so I went to Tipton Indiana. There I started going to school. They put me in high school. Things were going really well. Until her husband tomas he was a Mexican. Spoke very little English. My grandma had gone to the movies and I didn’t want to go so she went by herself. I was home alone with him and I was on the computer and he came up behind me and put his hands on my chest and spoke to me in Spanish and kissed my cheek. I was freaked out so I just got up and left and went to my friend’s house and told them what happened. Short version is my grandma didn’t believe me my friends mom went to the cops and I got put in foster care for the first time. I got sent back home about 2 months later. I was back home in November. At first I didn’t talk to anyone in my house. It took me about 2 weeks to get used to being back. To shorten it more I started doing meth again along with other pills and drinking a lot. My mom and her boyfriend (Joey) fought a lot still. The day that is the most important is February 24th 2011. One of my moms friends were making meth in our basement and my dad didn’t want all the kids there and so he had me take my little sister to my friend’s house. There is when I just got the courage to call the cops. No one was arrested. But cps was called and my little siblings and I were removed from there. It was really hard at first. But once I cut off all the contact I had with them I was better. I went through withdrawal. But I got to know who I was. I love country music. I love school. Just to be able to get a good education is amazing. My favorite subject is English my less favorite is Chemistry. I don’t eat much meat I’m a big veggie and fruit fan. I don’t drive and I don’t have a job yet. I plan on going to college. and I plan on being a Chef or a child therapist. I want to do well in this world. What’s Unique about me? Well just read above and see how I act everyday  and you will see it. My favorite color is yellow and neon colors. I love swimming and water tubing. I am a christen and go to church a lot. Lately I haven’t been though. But it will change. I still live in a foster home with my siblings Joey who is now 4 and Kira who is now 8. This is about me and my life well my past. I believe that if I hadn’t gone through all of this I wouldn’t be who I am today.


Indiana_Dolly
Posted

Very touching. Very raw. And a very creative piece of writing, Sam. Everyone has their worst lows, and best highs. At the end of the day, it's how you judge yourself based on the situation you're facing; and how well, you've been patient with time.

-Indie-


Tristram_Goncalves
Posted

If it's fiction it's good. If it's real work on bettering your psyche with productive therapy, meth is never kicked easily!



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