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Huey_Brian

MISSING THE FEELING. - Gay Guys! <3

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As of this writing, I’m 26 years of age which means it’s almost 20 years of pretending to be someone I’m not. Yes, I’m a GAYGUY! How I wish I can shout it to the world and to those people who keep on asking me “are you a gay?”. I guess I was 4 then when I realized that I like boys. I don’t know why I became a gay. I can’t say it’s a peer pressure since I played with my cousins who were mostly boys and my mom wasn’t always around so I spent more time with my dad. All I can remember is that I never had crushes on girls. I act sweet and gayish, that’s why I’ve been asked many times already if I am a gay and I constantly denied it. I was afraid to admit it even if I know for a fact that I am. I had fears that my family (especially my dad) would get disappointed if they will know about my secret. I was also anxious to tell it to my best boy friends, fearful that they may not accept me. But later on I realized that if I really have true friends, they should accept me for who I really am. I can freshly recall that it was in my high school senior year that I’ve decided to tell them the truth – they cried. They cried because they were happy that at last I freed myself from suffering – the suffering caused by carrying the heavy load of secrets on my own. I’m lucky that I have true friends, that I don’t have to settle on those drug/alcohol-addicted type of gayguys just to have a so called “real friends”. I act positively on everything I do. I never took my being-a-gayguy as a hindrance on achieving my goals in life. I am a post graduate student from a well known university. I believe that with my capabilities, I can be an asset to the community. We’re just humans like every people out there, we get hurt especially when people consider us as a drawback to the society. I really hope that people won’t judge us according to our sexuality but instead judge us according to our personality. As of now, I’m still hiding in the closet – I have to. That’s why I made this blog to somehow express what I feel on the inside. I guess it would be safer for me to create an online anonymous diary than having a physical journal that I may loss anytime. It’s also nice to share your thoughts publicly so that hopefully the community would understand people like us. Thank you!


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You are wonderful but at your age now you don't have to hide behind a barrier many employers are good these days
I wish you well in your future


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Thank you! Peter.. Yeah, right now. I am feeling okay and comfortable of who really I am. That`s why am sharing this thoughts online for me to feel more comfortable and hoping that they will judge us accordingly to our personality.


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Timothy_Brown
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Your story is amazing, Huey! I think it will be an inspiration for young people afraid of revealing their sexualities. I've been there and although I hoped my "friends" would accept me for whom I was, that was not always true. As it turned out, most of my friends while I was in my 20s are heterosexual. I had very few gay friends. You are a true inspiration!


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Being comfortable with who you are is very important. I am only now beginning to work on synthesizing the parts of my life that were mutually exclusive for so many years, and I find it rewarding, very rewarding.


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I must agree I enjoy a cuddle and a kiss and with the right person it can be true love
I am going through a mid life crisis so I feel it's time to move on and see what the future brings


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