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Kai_De_Bressac

To be or not to be... f**king friends? I think I am going to lose one. - Gay Guys! <3

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Kai_De_Bressac
Posted

Does anyone have a good advice or, at least, an opinion? My best male friend's name is P. I have known him for 2 years and a half. We met at work in the shitty factory in gray and rainy Wales. ;-P For all this time we have been just good friends. Unfortunately(?), recently it has changed. I realized I loved him. ??? I didn't know why it happened. P. is not the most charming guy I have ever seen. He is not an intelectual genius, either. I even hate most of habits he has (burping, dancing in a highly stupid way, taking piss of me, being not serious and childish in the most inappropriate situations, etc). I forgive him all of them because... it's him. I f**king love him. I enjoy every second I spend with him. He even doesn't have to ask me for favours cause I am always ready and eager to do it for him. A couple of weeks ago, I told him I thought I loved him. His reaction was... not really satisfying. To say the least. He has known exactly, for all this time, that I was very attracted to guys (romantically. I don't know whether or not I am gay. I guess I am homoromantic). P. said, "No. Sorry. But we still can be friends." :-( Whaaa...? But... since that evening, he let me do few innocent things. Several times. I enjoyed them. But lately, something happened. He lost his job (he hated it, anyway), has had awful headaches for nearly 2 weeks, and a girl, that used to chat with him, started to ignore him. Few days ago, P. said something to me. He made me upset. 2 days later he did it again. First of all, he said he disliked my hateful tirades on religion. ??? For all these years he has exactly known my attitude towards that f**king bulls**t. Why does it bother him right now? After more than 2 years of a good friendship? Till now, he seemed to enjoy my dirty jokes on that subject. He used to laugh. Secondly, he gave me a speech. On rules that apply in his room. ??? He said, "You accept them, or... you can leave." Do you think that's because of my homoromanticism or he just vents his anger on me? Because of his recent misfortunes? Although I know well I should ask him directly, I am not going to. At least, not now.


Tristram_Goncalves
Posted

Kai, for me it would be illuminating to know what the "innocent things" he let you do were. Especially if the were physical and/or sexual. We do vent to those closest to us yet we shouldn't, we should vent on those who deserve our ire, unfortunately that is not always possible. Also, love is deaf, mute and blind, and sometimes kinda stupid, but it is what we all desire.


Kai_De_Bressac
Posted

Innocent things: I made him a massage. Feet, back, arms, chest.... We spent that night together. In one bed. Being sure he was asleep I was softly touching his face and... the rest of his perfect body. The next day, he told me he remembered everything but didn't mind. Another time, he let me draw some pictures on his body. I used his markers. He said he loved a rose I drew on one side of his belly. He let me take few pictures of him. Usually, he doesn't mind when I touch him. It's of course more erotic and romantic (at least, for me) than pornographic. I know that love is sometimes very stupid. As stupid as hate.


Tristram_Goncalves
Posted

Maybe he is having trouble relating to his feelings about you.


Kai_De_Bressac
Posted

I think he has problems with himself. Fuck him. I don't need him. But, thanks a lot for your kind response.


Kai_De_Bressac
Posted

I have no idea if anyone is still interested but... P. has come back. He spent few days at his brother's place and he is back now. He behaves as if nothing has ever happened. He lets me do some little things when talking about a girl he'd like to chat with. Am I seek or is this just a little bit weird? 'Little things' means touching and alluding in a 'gaily' way. I saw him today and I am going to see him again, shortly. I use every thing he has to sort out asap to help him and therefore to spend with him as much time I can. I speak, read and write in English much better than he is, so he knows I may be very helpful. This is why he lets me come closer and closer. I take what he gives.


Tristram_Goncalves
Posted

Tread carefully!


Kai_De_Bressac
Posted

Oh, I will. As carefully I only can. I am going to speak (or, at least, chat) to him today, because I want to sort some things out.


Michael_Wolfe
Posted

We all go through bad patches I am going through this at the moment as my gay partner is deaf and enjoys going to a local deaf club but I don't enjoy it as I am just going to grim and bear it if my open relationship is going to continue
5 days ago by Peter Hamish Scott
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Open relationship? If I loved someone, I would be glad my partner enjoys something and I would support him, e.g. joining with him if he didn't have any objections. Love sometimes requires some sacrifices. I hope there are not many gay guys in that deaf club? ;-)
5 days ago by Kai De Bressac
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Anyway, I myself am partially deaf. ;-)
5 days ago by Kai De Bressac
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what's the harm of not insulting religions? even if you hate religions so much it doesnt mean you should insult it, in front of others. especially if you do this repeatedly. people will get annoyed by it. toleration has a limit.
4 days ago by Andrew Greg
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First of all, I am an ideological Satanist. So, trying to destroy every form of Right Hand Path religion is a matter of my Left Hand Path Religion. Secondly, insulting religion is my Fetish. One of main ones. Even a sexual one, I guess. I enjoy it more than sex. I am a sort of asexual homoromantic, so it's not hard... Obviously, I am not going to give up something I enjoy that much. Thirdly, one does not have to listen to me if one does not want to. It's fair. But it is not fair when someone says he doesn't like it after having been pretending for years that he enjoyed it. Fourthly, tell me please, if you don't mind, if you know any reason to believe that religion is not the greatest evil humanity has ever created. I believe myself to be quite tolerant. This is the reason why I hate religion even more. Because it was, is and always will be the main source of all intolerance.
4 days ago by Kai De Bressac
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It's ok to insult religion on paper but would you shout it from the roof tops that its wrong ?
Maybe you are that sort of person and you would be wrong as I have been reading about Darwin's Theory and in many states of the US you can't even talk about that and students at the colleges are not even allowed to learn about it
4 days ago by Peter Hamish Scott
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This society is sick. I mean it. I am going to shout gainst religion as loud as I am able to. I am going to write a book. In Polish and in English. No one can be happy in such a stupid world. Someone has to wake them all up. I hope I can be this person.
4 days ago by Kai De Bressac
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If you knew your friend was ill, wouldn't you at least try to help him? This way I spoke to my friend on religion.
4 days ago by Kai De Bressac
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I wanted my venomous tounge to be a cure.
4 days ago by Kai De Bressac
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Michael_Wolfe
Posted

I deleted the other discussion and transferr coments to here...


Kai_De_Bressac
Posted

Thank you. Tomorrow, I will write more stories about P. Especially, what happened today (when I drank 10 cans of beer). But you have to give me few hours. I need some sleep.


Tristram_Goncalves
Posted

OK, is it gonna be good?


Kai_De_Bressac
Posted

I am really sorry for such a delay. I had a problem with my giffgaff account. I topped it up just last night. Stories about P. are always good. ;-) But now I don't really know whether or not I have told them already. ;-) So, tell me please if you know this one about drawing on his body?



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