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Charles_Horton

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Charles_Horton
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as i sit here tonight with my head in my hands im faced with the knowledge that he wont love me the way that i love him, ive tried to show him who iam inside and out but just cant break through the gap that is between us. how fitting i say to myself im much older and wiser then before but when it comes to this i just dont make the grade, i used to dream of the day id lay within his arms, i used to imagine his lips on my skin yet to feel such things is childish pipe dream! i dont know who iam anymore i scream in my head i dont know where i belong or who or what or even where to go, this cant be happening to me all over again! i swore id never let anyone in again, even when i was confused thinking i was straight. i bust out with a chuckle amazing i think you had no sex when u were in the closet you come out u can have all you want just not the one thing you truly want love....
i think of all the guys who are hooking up from the bars and pubs and it saddens me to think how fast they waste there lives by not loving someone but instead just doing the deed never me i say thats not me at all im too decent to do it wait i think did i just do that from a website a few weeks ago? ha there ive joined them now im a slut too! wont that make mum proud of me and happy
well now its late my head pounds ive smoked my days last fag and i wanna go to sleep but the tears well up yet again and i think is this the world we made for us? is this the life we choose? is this what love feels like..........



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