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Let's talk. - Lesbian Ladies

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I want you to be honest here.
When I was you I had very low self esteem I've been through a lot since then but sadly I see so many going through it today.
I want you to know you are not alone.
Tell me is this you?

So in this post I thought I would describe some common indicators that suggest a teenager may have issues with their self esteem. This is by no means an exhaustive list, teens do not have to exhibit all of these signs to have low self esteem. These are merely a collection of signs that I and others have found to be commonly displayed by teens who have issues related to low self worth.

1. Walking with their head down
One of the most observable signs of low self esteem is when a teenager walks everywhere with their head pointed downwards and their chin stuck to the top of their chest. This is physical expression of shame and embarrassment. Teens who with low self esteem often feel like they want to hide and get through public situations unnoticed.

2. Doesn’t make eye contact when talking
Teens who feel that they are not worth much find it very hard to make eye contact with others when communicating. They avoid making a connection because they assume others have the same negative view of them as they do.

3. Uses negative “I am” statements
The language teens use will often convey what it is they believe, this is especially true of how they speak about themselves. Teenagers who commonly refer to themselves as hopeless or worthless are expressing a belief about who they are. Phrases like “l am useless”, “I always get it wrong”, “I could never do that” or “the world would be better of without me” are examples of someone expressing negative beliefs about who they are.

4. Often involved in teasing, name calling, or gossiping about others
Teenagers who feel bad about themselves will often seek to be negative about others. This is usually a defense mechanism. Often teens will be most critical of others who exhibit similar qualities that they don’t like about themselves. Other times it is a simple matter of making themselves feel or look better by making others look worse.

5. Engages in inappropriate physical contact or avoids physical contact
There is nothing more personal than our physical bodies. Teens who feel worthless and long for affirmation may seek to find it physically. The desire for physical touch from others is fueled by a deep sense of longing for acceptance and connectedness. However feelings of worthlessness can also manifest in a genuine fear of physical contact from others. Often teens who do not like to be touched have strong feelings of disgust or shame about their body and / or what it may represent.

6. Uses gestures that are dramatic and out of context
When teens feel like they are not valuable or worthwhile they can crave attention. One way of getting attention is act in such a way so that people notice. Teens who act in a manner that is out of context are often those who have not been given the care or attention they required when they were younger.

7. Excessive bragging about themselves, their achievements, or appearance
One way of fighting deep feelings of being worthless is by trying to convince ourselves and others that we are not. Teenagers who are constantly talking about how good they are, or how good they look are trying to convince other people and, most importantly, themselves that they are valuable. There is a constant search by some teens to find positive messages from external sources that will drown out the negative internal ones that are constantly playing.

8. Speaks too loudly and aggressive in tone
When a teenager feels worthless they can believe that everyone else thinks they are insignificant too. In order to compensate for these feelings of insignificance teens will try to verbally dominate communication as a means of seeking attention and recognition. Unfortunately this will often result in increased levels of personal rejection from others.

9. Avoids social situations
If a teenager feels they are unlikeable they will avoid situations which reinforce that belief. Teens who have few friends or weak relational bonds with peers commonly have quite low self esteem. Peer relationships are an important component of how teens develop self worth. Teenagers who have few friends, or find it hard to make friends will feel less confident about who they are, this in turn results in them being less confident and willing to build friendships. The cycle continues.

10. Apologises constantly
Apologising a lot is usually associated with feeling guilty. if a teen believes they get things wrong all the time or don’t measure up to expectations they will feel guilty for failing. It creates a cycle. The guiltier they feel, the worse they feel about themselves, and the worse they feel about themselves, the guiltier they feel. Constant apologizing comes from the excessive feelings of guilt a teen may feel.


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Posted

half of this list definitly describes me


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Posted

First of all thank you Janelle for being brave enough to stand up and say hey yes that's me. The truth is many read this and thought oh shit this is me.
I want to tell you it's OK you are not alone.


Low self-esteem, unfortunately, is common amongst those in the gay community.
Which perhaps isn’t surprising when you consider how difficult and sometimes even dangerous being gay in today’s world can be.
We all just want to "fit in" but sometimes the need to please others is just so hard it makes us lose our self worth.
For many face homophobia within their own family, school, workplace or church.
Gays and lesbians are at greater risk of attempting suicide and having drug or alcohol problems than their straight counterparts.
Your self-esteem — the way you see yourself — has an impact on every aspect of your life,
romantically, professionally and socially.


Gay, lesbian and bisexual teens still have many concerns.
These include:
•feeling different from peers
•feeling guilty about their sexual orientation
•worrying about the response from their families and loved ones
•being teased and ridiculed by their peers
•worrying about AIDS, HIV infection, and other sexually transmitted diseases
•fearing discrimination when joining clubs, sports, seeking admission to college, and finding employment
•being rejected and harassed by others

So I want to tell you it's OK to feel like this and you are NOT alone.
If you want to message me I am always happy to talk and if you have a friend you trust please talk to them.
I want you to know things will get better.
People will be more excepting.
You just be yourself and people will love you.


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Posted

I do not qualify, but this reminds me of someone.
Hmmm. What should you do to help them feel better about themselves?

(This person I speak of has only hinted to the insecurities. Plus this person doesn't enjoy discussing matters of emotion with others, even though I know said person feels deeply about certain topics. Often, they will bottle things up and go off on someone close to said person.)


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Posted

Thanks Carol i hope your right and i hope things get better for me soon


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I think we all feel this way sometimes and maybe we need to talk about it and not feel sooooooooooo alone anymore.


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