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Here is the deal.... - Get HAPPY

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SO! About 2 weeks ago I had a date and it did go as I planned. Her and I talked and really made a connection. I havent really talked to her much only because I have let her study for the finals for school. Now here is an issue that I have been fighting with with for the last few days. I have been feeling down only because I do not have Karen with me anymore. I know that it sounds silly for me to say that but it is true. I have been wondering how she has been doing and her health and all of that stuff. She has told me to leave her alone and I have because I respect her and all in all I still love her. I never thought that losing her will hurt this much. She did tell me a while back that she just wanted to be friends and I did not want that. I had to come to the conclusion that in order for her to be happy, if she just wanted to be friends I became friends with her. After sometime, I guess we were a couple still and we had a big issue that made her not want to talk to me. I respected her with that and gave her the time away as needed. One day she texted me saying we should make up and I thought only as friends. Then when I posted the whole thing about me having a date, she blew up at me and was mad that I had a date while we were "together". I tried calling her to explain it all but she never answered. Karen only texted me saying things in which I will not say here (not bad, I promise). It hurts me now to know that I am in this confused state of mind that I cry myself to sleep not knowing what could have happened if she only picked up the phone. I still cry wondering why it happened like this instead of a different way. All I know is that I miss her too much and in my own selfishness, I want her back. I want the woman who despite all the of the fights i have been in, i fought to keep her and i lost. She doesnt know it because I am sure that she is happy with someone who is giving her more than what I can give. One thing I tried to give her my heart and that is the most expensive gift I can ever give someone. Especially if her and I were together for 14 months. I just hope that somewhere along the lines, she reads this and knows how I really feel. Karen, if you are reading this, I truely do miss you and all the things that I have done in the past, I did to respect you. Thats how I loved you for so long.......


I am so sorry about that hope everything goes well


I hope so to. The last thing she told me was to leave her alone. How can I when I am still in love with her?