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Aubrie_Blauvelt

What Would You Do? - Get HAPPY

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Aubrie_Blauvelt
Posted

I've been in a relationship with the same girl for about two years, and the past couple of months she has just absolutely changed. She's been lying to me a lot lately. Some really big lies and some pointless lies that she had no reason to lie about. It's really tearing me up inside, but I do genuinely love her. I've told her I forgave her each and every time I address the problem, I tell her I would never be mad at her for whatever the truth may be, but she just continues to lie. I'm not an angry person, I'm not one to push, and I most certainly don't force her to stay with me. I've completely honest with her and let her know that although it'd be sad to see her leave if that's what she wanted she could go instead of lying to me so often, but she assured me that she wanted to stay.

But now after talking to her about this recent lie I found out about, I just feel like I don't know who she is anymore. I mean, I love her, the girl who didn't lie to me and told me anything, THAT her. But this her, lies and then begs me not to leave even though I don't threaten it.

I don't understand and I don't know what to do. I feel a little like I'm being walked all over, I definitely feel unloved, but mostly I feel incredibly lonely. I don't want to leave her, that's the last thing I want is to lose the person who's meant so much to me for so long. But I'm starting to think that maybe enough is enough. What do you all think? What would you do?


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Jodie_Hendricks
Posted

Aubrie,
if it walks like a duck and sounds like a duck, it's a duck,. Sweetie take it from someone whos's been there, the two of you had 2 yrs, try 26 yrs and my ex lied to me and told me theres was nothing going on between her and our sons godfather same lie for 10 yrs till the man died. my ex and I are no longer together, I have been single almost 8 yrs. sometimes you just have to cut your loses and move on sweetie.


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Posted

Hyperthetically speaking, do you leave a dagger in your heart that keeps moving so the pain is always there and sometimes increasing, or do you cut lose, remove the dagger, take time out so to heal and move on? Blunt way of saying this, I've been in same position though relationship wassn't over as long a period of Jodie's and yours otherwise. I know it's very hard to let go, but in my opinion, try do as I did, let go, find the love within yourself, have fun and try move on. Sorry to be blunt.


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Xaba_Nxumalo
Posted

Assuming you proved beyond doubt that she lied. I suggest you calmly show her that it is intolerable to be lied to and that its a source of mistrust. Since you have talked to her about this before, go a step further and suggest a separation while both of you are thinking through it. Sometimes, some people like drama in relationships, so a separation may help you observe her from a distance. If you then decide to end it, then do it. The most important thing to observe through out this whole process is to keep your head clear of your emotions.

There is no need to continue a relationship with someone you can not trust. Trust is the basis of a love relationship, so make it clear to her and keep all options on the table...


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Tristram_Goncalves
Posted

Aubrie, child, it's hard to tell someone what to do, we can be objective but you are in turmoil. I once had a relationship that was similar. I found out that sometimes it can be lonelier in a relationship than on your own. I loved David unconditionally. but one day he broke the camel's back, and I walked and never looked back.

I am just sharing a life experience with you. It took me years to walk out that door. Good luck, my thoughts are with you.


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Aubrie_Blauvelt
Posted

Thank you all so much for your advice! Sometimes it's better to get advice from people who aren't right there to experience it because they tend to have a bias opinion. I know that I seriously need to end things, now my only problem is how to tell someone you love that you think you should break up.


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Tristram_Goncalves
Posted

Breaking up is hard to do. You can rehearse a lovely and caring dialogue but I prefer to run them over with my car. They get that hint really well. LOL I'd never run someone over with my car, altho when I'm behind the wheel and they're standing outside aggrevating me, hwa-ha-ha (evil laugh) it's bloody tempting.


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Posted

Aubrie, sorry that I missed this post, second me w Tristram. He is right. It is hard for us to tell you to let go or to go on, as well as whether you should move on.

We can give you all our personal opinions (on your r/s matter)but, decision is still yours, Aubrie. If you can't find the answer, perhaps It's already in your heart.

PS : Lies should never be part of It in a r/s. Lies hurt n break trust. When you think about It, Aubrie.. the heartbreak wasn't caused by the break-up, It's caused by multiple lies. It's the trust that was broken n can't be mend even no matter how much you love a person. However, I hope you will follow what your heart tells you, Aubrie.B/c the answer is within your heart.

Ella x^___________^x ((((((((( lots of hugs ))))))))))))))


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Debbie_Dibble
Posted

Wow, it's so sad to hear and to have lived the same story. I just don't understand why a person would want to lie to their partner. Lying for me crushed, battered and ripped who I was apart.

Aubrie, we were placed on this planet to shine bright and add to our world. The right person will only cause you to shine even brighter and help you affect more of the world for good.

Your decision will be painful either way you choose. But these folks and I are here to help you thru, so you are NOT alone!

((((((((Aubrie))))))
((((SquishyHugsWhoHaveBeenHereBefore))))


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Aubrie_Blauvelt
Posted

Thank you all so much for the advice, I wish I could say I have already left her, but honestly this is a lot harder than I thought it would be. I guess it just comes down to me being a huge chicken. I did break up with her for a few days but she came back to me and talked me into giving her another chance.. this time it should be like she's on thin ice, but whenever I speak to her its like I'm walking on egg shells trying not to make her mad at me.. and I know I should break up with her AGAIN, but it was so hard last time and now I just avoid her as much as I possibly can... It's seriously tearing me up inside. And yeah I know what to do, I know what's best for me, but then why is it so hard to just leave and never speak to her again?

Love is complicated >_< ugh!


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