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Flirting? - Gay Guys! <3

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Posted

Okay, I know how to flirt, I'd say I'm a really big flirt but when I'm speaking to my ex, Ben, for some reason I don't know if he sees it as flirting and I'm not sure if it is flirting - stupid I know but I think I'm hoping for him to flirt with me so much that I'm just thinking he's flirting with me.
Hear me out:
Last week he was feeling down so I told him to text me so I can cheer him up and he text me saying 'Sex Line' and we spoke then for ages about his 'Prostitute services' and what £2.00 can get me - this went on for a very long time then we met up in person and I handed him £2.00 and he just looked at laughed and said 'You're funny' and he said he was being half sarcastic and half serious lol, then later in that day we were joking around and he said 'Fuck you' as he usually says in his joking way and I said 'Okay, but be gentle' and he replied 'No, if it needs a pounding I'll give it a pounding'
I'm not sure if it's flirting or if I'm seeing it as flirting cause I want him to flirt with me - I'm not sure if he sees it as flirting, but he speaks to me like we used to speak when we were in a relationship.
What do you guys think, flirting or not?


Tristram_Goncalves
Posted

Don't ask me, child, I don't know how to flirt, I am a big old wallflower that stumbles over every word I try to say when I find a man attractive. I would be a blathering idiot trying to take to a hottie like you face to face.


Joshua_Florence
Posted

I don't think it's actually a flirting issue, instead it sounds like having feelings for someone that "pulls you in, and then pushes you away". Make no mistake- being close to these types will wreak *emotional devastation* for you. Read again- emotional devastation!!
This is different from a cat and mouse game when people are just getting to know each other.
Here, he's got you on a string. And you will never quite know where you stand with him. The longer this game plays out the more your self esteem will take a beating. Always wondering what you did that was wrong.
My two cents are try out a strictly *platonic friendship* if you insist on keeping him in your life. Drop him altogether if it remains emotionally draining. Also, look for degree of *consistency* when choosing friends / partners insofar as how they treat you.
Was that you that said recently "I am good enough for whatever and whomever I want!" if so, I agree entirely. But it's not the best situation to have to prop yourself up to weather a dysfunctional relationship.
Hope you find this helpful
Good luck to 'ya


Posted

What you said is easier said than done, Joshua


Joshua_Florence
Posted

aww, okay
I was kind of harsh at some points.
There's probably more to this story too that I don't know about (ex, maybe the two of you are in the same school and it's hard to not bump into him?)
Here's what I do now with my last partner..
I don't contact him, but if we bump into each other or he texts me I'm nice to him. Sometimes we hang out, talk and even occasionally hold hands or swap a kiss in public. But the difference is we are friends and not "together" The things that bothered me now have no effect on me. If he starts in on teasing me he gets it right back, but in a playful way, really I couldn't care less. I don't say or do anything to try to impress him. Sometimes he kisses me in public, ive returned the gesture, but in private ive made it clear *no sex*. Sometimes we cuddle watching movies, but mostly we just talk about lifes ups and downs. Now, I maintain my sense of self identity, and yet he's closer to me than when we were actually together. I find it ironic that only now is it a fairly healthy relationship. It became a friendship, but I'm not "in love" by any means. Still, I had to avoid him for 6 months, and be "over" him and become happy with my own life, before things changed for the better.

Anyways, maybe my own story can be a little easier on the eyes for you than the somewhat harsh advice I had earlier.
All the best to you man



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