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Chud

Returned for advice... Hell knows I need it! - Gay Guys! <3

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Posted

Help me everyone!
This is to do with Ben, if you don't care then don't read on.
I saw him again today (27 October 2012) we had a really good laugh and enjoyed each other's company a lot.
Now when we parted ways to go home we hugged and as he hugged me I gave him a quick kiss on the cheek, he hugged me really tight and since it was cold he said 'Oh my god, you're really warm, I'm never letting go!' so after a long hug he let me go and then said 'You can have one too' and kissed me on the cheek!
So then when we went our separate ways I text him saying 'I'm never washing the cheek again ' and he replied 'One for one ^_^'
Now, I know Ben but lately I don't know how he thinks, maybe that kiss meant the same for him as it did for me, maybe not, maybe he just sees it as close friends, also that text 'one for one' does it mean if I give him a proper kiss he'll give me one back? But then thinking about it Ben doesn't really look that far into things.
Guys help... Mind is fucked


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Jim_Bond
Posted

Richard, is it possible that Ben meant "I'm not going to wash my cheek too"? I'm asking you because you know him better that any of us.


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Posted

Well i am happy the 2 of ye Met, First of all if he didnt want 2 see u anymore, he would Avoid u like the Plague. Your Mind Richard will give u all kind's of diffrent Signals, I really think he want's 2 be with u again, Give him a Proper Kiss and u will know for sure, Tell him That Hug ment the world and u Felt Safe and Happy while ye Hugged. I Really hope this is the Start of Something Wonderful Between u and Ben.


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Posted

I just worry that if I give him a kiss he'll back away and it'll make our friendship awkward


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Posted

I dont think it will ruin ur Friendship, if he is not interested he will just say so, and then u will know where ye Stand with eachother.


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Dave_Mack
Posted

Chud if I may add my two cents (US currency) Its better to love and lose than to never love at all. Take things slow and just see HOW things develop. Don't try to make MORE of them than they are. I don't remember WHY you said things went on the rocks but it sounds like they are definately not over. GO SLOW. Take baby steps. If a kiss develops into more then great. If you just end up as friends that a good thing. Forget about awkwardness. Just see how things develop and go from there.


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Posted

Also, if Ben meant 'I'm not going to was my cheek too' then he would of said 'Likewise' or something like that.
I'll just see how things feel when I see him next, I know next time that we'll ether be in my house or his house cause being outside is far too cold now that winter is almost here


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Heebie999
Posted

I agree wtih Dave, try not to make it more than it was. Let it be exactly what it was & don't try to overanalyse it, or hammer it in to something to make it "fit"
If there's something there, it'll happen in its own sweet time.
If there isn't something more there, you'll have a friend.


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Tristram_Goncalves
Posted

Ya can't know nobody elses's thoughts. Only time will reveal his feelings.


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Posted

Sat., Oct 27th, 20:30 Hrs. M.D.T,
Hi Group,,

Richard, You Gave Him a Kiss,
He Also Returned the Kiss Back
to You. CONGRATULATIONS. OK.
A Small Step - Yes, But At Least
Its a Small Start for You. For Him
Perhaps as Well, Perhaps He Doesn't
Realize it Yet. I Honestly Don't Know.
Bets Its the 1st Time for Him He Got a
HUG and a KISS from a Guy, Who
Truly Meant What He Said and Did.
Take It Slow, and All the Best.

Tnx.,
Operater.


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Simon_George_Honour
Posted

may be you should ask him if he still loves you and if he sais yes ask him if he wants to get back together hope this helps xx


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Posted

I find it easier asking and getting to know facts than stay guessing...but do it cautiously. Remember that a fish can only swim within the borders of the ocean. Good luck


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Drew_Higgs_Bouson
Posted

RIchard just a thought. Does Ben have access to Gays.com and can he read what you write? It’s just that if it was Dean asking everybody for advice and detailing his relationship with me it would piss me off a bit. If Ben can read all this he could feel a bit left out?

And Dean thinks he has pissed you off as well.


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Posted

No, Ben hasn't got access to gays.com - and I believe he'll understand why I was asking for advice, he's a really understanding person.
I'll talk to him


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Mel0730
Posted

wow. the start of a love story...hope so

well, it is right to really talk to him so you may know your standing in his life. (but i think it will be so hard and awkward?)

just don't make Friendship the reason not to love. if you see both of you have mutual feelings 4 each other, don't be afraid.

LOVEloveLOVE


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Posted

Mel, thank you for your advice, the guy I'm talking about is currently my ex, we have recently broke up and we are trying to hold a friendship, it is what HE wants but not me, I'm finding it very difficult to look at him and think friend, I always think boyfriend, I don't think he realises or appreciate how hard I'm trying not to cry in front and just submit to the demons in my mind, it's too difficult and when all these thoughts enter my mid I worry that I look too far into them and now decided to just let each moment I'm with him carry me to my next move


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Heebie999
Posted

If it is that painful & difficult for you, you should let him know that, no question. He probably doesn't understand that it's so hard on you to have him around as "just a friend".. his perspective is probably completely different about the whole thing. He might not have any difficulty with going back to being just friends.
If he doesn't understand where you're coming from, he'll probably continue to do things that make the whole thing harder on you.

You might want to take some time with him not around you to get your head around how you're feeling and make a decision for yourself as far as how, or if, you want to have a friendship with him. If you decide you can't deal with being just friends, then that's the way it should be. When it comes to your psychological well-being, there are definitely times where you have to "watch out for number one" so to speak, and not worry about whether someone else is getting what they want.
You are the only one who lives inside your own head.. so the things that go on in there need to work FOR YOU.

I wish you luck in finding the best way forward for yourself.


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Dane_Haas
Posted

To me it sounds like he's interested in you. You both have a connection.


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Posted

He broke up with me tho, we do have a connection cause we were in a relationship for 6 months so I don't think he's still interested in me... Although I'd love it if he was


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Dane_Haas
Posted

Things change, maybe he needed time away from you to find that his feelings are more stronger then he had thought before. You never know He might still want a relationship with you. Or he just wants to be really close friends.


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Posted

We've been seeing each other once a week since 19th October.
It's really hard, hey, what can I do?


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Dane_Haas
Posted

To me it seems like he's not yet over you and he's still hanging onto you, seeing if there's still a deeper connection to get back together.
You could try making moves on him and see what happens? Or ask him if he want's to try again or stay friends.


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Posted

If so why did he break up with me?


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Dane_Haas
Posted

Maybe he didn't want to be in a committed relationship, maybe he needed space.


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Posted

But we were together for 6 months...
Let's say your right and he didn't want a committed relationship, the thing is you see, this is the second time we've broken up, the first time we went on for almost 2 months (we broke up the day before we turned 2 months) this time he broke up with me a week after we became 6 months, I don't see how someone who doesn't want a committed relationship would manage to stay in it for 6 months - but lets say he didn't want one, by what you've read and what you've said do you think he wants me back?


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