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The Gays.com BIG question: does a big age gap matter in relationships? - The Rainbow Lounge

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Posted

Let us know what you think!


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Posted

I don't think it has to matter too much, but I guess it depends more on if you have the same interests and likes. If I started dating someone 15 years older, that's cool, as long as they like the same stuff as me.


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Tommy_Storey
Posted

Age is just a number,and it does not matter
in a Relationship.

Just take me and my man.......
There is 12 year`s between our Ages........


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Posted

I agree with an Age Gap as Long as ye Both are Happy, and like Tommy says it's just a Number


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Posted

most on here will allow an age difference of about 10-15 yrs, but in a relationship its important that both persons are of the same opinion, and one is not dominant, controlling the other.
Also most would not date or be in a relationship with a younger person between the ages of 16 -21, as to some they would feel it is not right, most will go the other way,. only my opinion, thats all.


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Posted

All I can say is, it SOOOOOO does not matter!


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Posted

NOPE


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Lexie_Preston
Posted

...love dont have age... so in any way love stills beautiful!!!


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Posted

When I was 23 my boyfriend (or at least I thought he was) was 37 but age had nothing to do with the breakup.I have dated younger and older men but I do not think the age difference played a role for me and whoever I was with at the time.

Unforetunately a lot of gay men, even more the the rest of (western) civilisation are obsessed with wath is thought to be the beauty of youth.


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Bobbye_L._Webb
Posted

It depends on the person.


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Posted

I agree quite a bit with Christine. I am 52, and in a relationship with a woman who is 31, however, she is very mature for her age, we do have a lot in common, and I can PROMISE you that if I was approached by someone 18-21 even when I was in my 40's; I would have run like hell, lol.


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RompinRick
Posted

Not at all, as long as both are happy!


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John_Sinclair
Posted

Age differences aren't all that important as long as the couple have interests in common. They have to be able to communicate in a common language.


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David_Cloud
Posted

How strange to think of setting 'rules'. I would assess each situation individually on its merits. Keep an open mind, enjoy the full extent of human potential, but never hurt or exploit another person.


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Sage_Elle_Ronson
Posted

no it does not! love who you want to love! and like, date and kiss who you want to!


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Carl_Gruel
Posted

My beautiful husband is 16 years younger than me. We have been together for 19 years and legally married in California for 4. Our relationship go to show that an age gap doesn't matter as long as both people are of legal age and have things in common that will withstand the test of time. Love can be hard enough to find in this crazy world...why would you want to limit yourself on finding true love with any hangups on age?


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Elvia_Beck
Posted

I so happy to read your story Carl, Age should not be....love is love


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Posted

My last four boyfriends have all been significantly younger than me, and it has never been a problem. In each case, the end of the relationship would have happened regardless of the age gap.

I tend to find more in common with guys of a younger generation, possibly because, of the two jobs I work, one is in the music industry (singer, DJ and dance-music producer) and the other is with computers and mobile phones (I'm a programmer and have a repair workshop). Most guys my own age seem to hate my music, don't understand me when I talk about computers and find me generally boring!


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bill240
Posted

I have friends who, after having been together for years, got married in San Francisco, during that brief period that it was possible, and they have a 40 year age difference. However, for that or any relationship, no matter what the age differences are, the dynamic of the relationship has to be one where both individuals are into each other, and into growing and interested in experiencing the change in dynamic of the relationship as each grows and changes. It is a lot of work, and effort but had been worth it for me.


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Posted

My first long-term relationship was with a man 23 years older than I am. It lasted nine years, we never had a final argument, we remain very good friends in fact, and for the most part I think the relationship was pretty good. Unfortunately, after nine years together, we came to the conclusion that we could no longer live within each others' worlds: he had grown up in a large city and idolized life in small towns and I had grown up in a small town like a giraffe in a barnyard, needing creative opportunities and resources that are generally only found within metropolitan areas. I'd love to live in a small town again, actually, but I think the mythical town of Cicely, Alaska, is the only one that would work for me. There were a number of challenges that arose due to our age difference, but most of them were matters of relating to the surrounding world. Between ourselves, there was significant equality and I was actually the more "mature" one within our relationship. I think I found his boyishness and occasional mischievous qualities endearing, actually, as if he was either enjoying a second childhood or had never left his first one. All that being said, he was generally more insightful and intelligent than he usually gave himself credit for being. In general, what is more important to consider and to honestly address are the unique challenges each will bring to the relationship and at what points in time. One may be ready to retire while the other is still building a career, for example. In the case of myself and my ex, a most important criteria is that from the first day we met in Autumn of 1989 through to the present day, we have never lied to each other--not even once. An additional important consideration is that we never played "elephant in the living room" but rather proactively discussed and addressed any and every challenge that arose at whatever point in time. Still, dealing with others' perceptions of us was a more or less constant problem. Because of my youth, most administrators in a wide variety of capacities and situations, would not listen to me, even though my ex realized and acknowledged that my responses and comments were absolutely correct. Many assumed that I was a "kept boy" or merely a sexual plaything, but he and I both agreed that I worked much harder than he did to support and manage our relationship, but that because the world valued his contribution far more than it did mine, he would have to fill the role of primary "breadwinner" most of the time. So I did landscaping, home remodeling, and all things related to maintaining a home office of sorts (for nine years, he never had to deal with tax receipts, bill payments, invoices, or balancing the checkbook, all of which were filed promptly, alphabetically, and chronologically). Regardless, the time finally came when it was necessary for me to continue on alone, thereafter accomplishing a masters degree, my own home, a published novel, and a long list of other things which would have been seriously improbable if I'd remained with him within a small town in a more remote area. Still, we remain very good friends and he knows that if he were to ever call for help, I would come without hesitation. In that sense, he remains extended family to me, especially considering that I have been estranged from my biological family for over twenty years, because they have no place in their lives for an openly gay person. Ah, well, in one form or another, life goes on.


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Ryan_Arthur
Posted

of course not, love knows no age. I know two happy couples that are both 18 years a pair from each other


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Posted

Well i know a Guy in My Town in Ireland and the Age Gap between him and his Lover is 36 Year's, and they are So in Love, Like they are Glued Together.


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Tonia_Docter
Posted

I am attracted to older women because I don't like to play games (outside the bedroom). I have much better things to do than to babysit for somebody's kid really. My lady is 6.5 yrs older than myself and it is the smallest gap that I have been in but this is the perfect one.

Many people expressed common interests as a determining factor and I truly think that it has to do with the couple and the kind of people that they are and the kind of relationship that they need to thrive. The age difference should not be an issue if the two PEOPLE are compatible.


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Posted

I don't think it matters, there's 10 years difference between my Lady J and me, can't say it factors into anything, other than she has a "3" in her age and I have a "4" She'll catch up to the 4 at some point, and the 5, etc.

What matters is the emotional age of two people! I know some 24 year olds that are more emotionally mature than me! :0)


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David_Kirkpatrick_61460
Posted

Couples about the same age as each other can break up for whatever reason: similarity in age is no guarantor of permanence. What matters most is what both partners bring to the partnership, the marriage-- and how much they love each other and how much they love the marriage and are committed to preserving it for 'as long as they both shall live', as the old marriage vow goes.


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