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Advice on something... - Gay Guys! <3

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I'm not sure why I'm going to reveal this, but this has been one of my biggest turmoils that have raged through my mind and conscious ever since I became self aware. Which was about early 12 or 13. When a lot of things happened to me so fast that I could not control or prepare for any of it. Losing whatever connections I had to whatever kind of family I had in my life. Living my life on the streets for a long time, lost and constantly being shipped around like luggage when the CPS found me alone on the streets. During all this, my mind was still plagued by yet another problem, was I born the way I was supposed to be? Was I supposed to be the person I am? Was I....supposed to be born a male?

I understand if this isn't technically a subject discussed in this group, I don't know if it is or not. But I thought I would get a better response here. If so, let me know, if not, then ignore this. And I'll delete it within 24-hours.


I believe that you are supposed to be the person you are, no matter how you decide you want or need to be. I will stand up for you no matter what you need!


You are the way god made you. As i say to all people who say it's because god didn't make them that way, if god didn't want you be feeling the way you do, why did create natural selection?


Estaffan, you are the person you want to be. Just be yourself, never mind what your friends say about you, it's what you say about you that is important. We can all act differently at times either showing our masculine or feminine sides. I think that it's important to have some kind of a balance in life and don't let someone else tell you who you are. The fact that you may be a sensitive human being does not decide whether you may be a female in a male body or the reverse. Sensitive men are needed in our society today. You are the only person who knows what you want and to me, it doesn't matter. You are the only one who can say whether you were born as male or female. You are a nice person and you express yourself very well. Conduct your life in the way that you see fit. I like your use of the term, 'Self aware', that says a lot, it's a good term.
Go well my friend.


I second John Ferguson's reply. Be true to YOURSELF and not others.


Rye...what your seeking and asking cannot be answered here. That is something you and only you can answer for yourself. I struggled with my own sexuality for years being married and having kids....on one hand if I had been in a situation to "not" hide my sexuality, I wouldn't have my 3 beautiful and wonderful kids...and trust me it's been a long struggle. I'm divorced now and happy(not because of sexuality). But it's taken me this long to become comfortable. I realized one thing. I don't need or have to have a label to decide who I am. I'm not out to the world per-say. But I don't hide to have a relationship with another man either and if I found the right man to share my life with so be it. What I'm trying to say here is I found a way for me to be comfortable with who I am and to hell with what anybody else thinks. You have to do the same....no one else can do it for you.....


Jim, thank you for your comment and Scott, when you suggest that we don't have to wear labels is my finding also. I personally find that labels limit me. If I say that I am this or that, then to my thinking I must perform according to that label. But I am not a label, I can be many things. It took me a very long time to realise that my thoughts, my work and my interests do not define me, they do not define who I am. All that I can say about me is that 'I am' and try to be helpful to people who one way or another touch my experience of what we call 'life'.


But I'm not who I'm supposed to be....I'm not supposed to be a male. My mind, my way of thinking, it's way too different. How I do things...it's not similar to how males normally react.


from this site

Transgender is an umbrella term for persons whose gender identity, gender expression, or behavior does not conform to that typically associated with the sex to which they were assigned at birth. Gender identity refers to a person’s internal sense of being male, female, or something else; gender expression refers to the way a person communicates gender identity to others through behavior, clothing, hairstyles, voice, or body characteristics. “Trans” is sometimes used as shorthand for “transgender.” While transgender is generally a good term to use, not everyone whose appearance or behavior is gender-nonconforming will identify as a transgender person. The ways that transgender people are talked about in popular culture, academia, and science are constantly changing, particularly as individuals’ awareness, knowledge, and openness about transgender people and their experiences grow

There are a few transgender folks in my church. One is a minister. He was born with a female body but always felt he was a male. He went for hormone treatments and later on surgery.

I don't know if you are transgender or just a male with some characteristics that others define as female. You may need to discuss your feelings with a professional counselor.

Be who you are and remember the old saying - what others think of you is none of your business


Esteffan. you might really be better to talk this over with a professional person who is gay and has some understanding of the issues. Above all, you have to be the person you are. In a forum such as this I would not like to try to give any other advice. I had 4-5 years of ongoing counselling from a gay psychologist 20 years ago and he really gave me my life back but it's your life and that is too valuable to just get others ideas on. You are who you are and I think that all of us here value that highly. May every good thing come your way and you have to be comfortable in your own skin.