Jump to content

I need some advice! - The Gay Christian Network

Recommended Posts


I'm lesbian and I've been out, and I'm only 17.. And I'm in love with this girl, who's also lesbian, but she is also a major christian. Her parents raised her in an environment full of religion and they disagree with homosexuality.. and we tried going out twice, but they'd find out and now they won't let us see each other or even talk..but I found a loop hole. And I'm trying to help her come out, but she's scared... all I can tell her is that if they truly lover and care for her, than they'll accept her despite everything.. and because of them and the fact she's so religious... she's ashamed of being lesbian... and I don't know what to do or say.. I love this girl with all my heart and I only want to help... I really need some advice!!


First we need to think about this love thing. You have only been out twice? I also came out when I was 17 (Now 43) this has to be her decision. It can't happen because you are ready to be with her. She can't force this down her parents throat! She is still in their house and the last thing you want is for her to be made unhappy there. Soon she will be able to make her own decisions for her life. Just be patient it will fall into place for her.


If you really want to help, don't look for loop holes, just be there when she needs you. Also don't make her feel as though her parents don't love her if they don't accept her lesbianism. They may just be ignorant, and that doesn't mean they don't love her, it means they don't understand.


Thanks. That helps. And what I meant was we dated two times.. Her parents found out both times.. I've known her for little over 2 years. And we both want to be with each other.. And thank you very much for your help!


One of the greatest challenges young people face today is that in today's society even thing is almost about "instant gratification" and it's quite hard if not impossible to accept the concept that Love will be there (as you say "I love this girl with all my heart and I only want to help". Then understand that if it is love, be patient and think of the concept that if it is true love it will stand the test of time, and it will be there, when you both are out of your parents home and have completed school.

Making or getting someone to come out of the closet while they are still in their parents home, no matter how well intended, can end up destroying not only their lives, but also all your hopes and dreams of being with the one you love.

Love them enough to respect their parents wishes, I know, it will seem as though the world will end if you are not together, but I promise it won't, if your love for her is real, then your heart will understand the trial of the discipline of patience and you both will be better for it.

Remember you stated that "and we tried going out twice, but they'd find out and now they won't let us see each other or even talk..but I found a loop hole."?

There are many Christian extremists, who however much they may love their daughter, may do or try to do many things if you do not wait.

It seems silly, but they may get a restraining order against you. Believe it or not it could happen. They might try to put the person you love in some sort of "Conversion therapy" , that most people agree will do more harm then good.

And then, the worst case scenario, they will do all of the above and when that fails, they will kick her to the curb.

It happens everyday to GLBTQ kids all over the world. and that is never good.

Loving someone means (I think) that you are willing to do what is in their best interest at the time, however painful it may be for you, because love requires sacrifice.

Are you loving and mature enough to understand that just for now, the best way you can love your friend with all your heart, is to wait.

If it is true love it will still be there however long it takes.

Do not, I beg you make yourself seem as a threat to her in her parents eyes.

From Shakespeare's Romeo and Juliet: "”These violent delights have violent ends, in their triumph die, like fire and powder.” Which as they kiss consume” (Act II, Scene VI)

Please act in love, in the best interest of your love and that of yourself and in the interest of your happiness together for the future. restrain yourself and prove your love by being patient and wise enough to wait and give both her and her parents time to address and sort things out.

I know (I was your age, a couple of times) the world seems like it will end if you can not embrace, kiss, and be with the one you love and your heart's desire, and it just might if you do not have the fortitude to love wisely, patiently in the best interests of you both.

Be brave, be strong, be true, be loyal, faithful and pray that God who never gives us more then we can bear, and trust that in time you both will be together.

I know that at your age, doing everything that is bold and sneaky seems to be the way to go, but I assure you it isn't.

Do not give in to "lust" or infatuation, which is Love's enemy, just as much as jealousy is.

I know that loving someone can feels like you are holding your breath underwater, but it isn't.

I have loved men so much that thinking of having sex with them, however tempting that may be, was quite out of the question because I valued their friendship so much, I didn't want to ruin it by having sex with them.

I proved my love by doing the opposite of what my body longed for, which is nearly a impossible thing to do, but in doing so, it shows how very much you actually love that person by respecting that person enough by allowing what ever it is between you two, to grow with time.

I ask you to consider, reflect and contemplate the words of my consul so that you and your love may be happy and safe from all ills and harm.

Both of your lives are just beginning, be patient.

Romeo and Juliet (1968) - From a Shell [MV]


Uploaded by burntpaper on Dec 28, 2008

"These violent delights have violent ends, and in their triumph die, like fire and powder, which as they kiss consume."
- William Shakespeare, Romeo and Juliet, 2.3

Given in the best hope I can give for your both,

Anthony Of Portsmouth+++++++++++++++++++++++++++


Wow.. That was a lot to read... But, it all makes sense and it's helpful. Thank you. I understand that pressuring her won't help. And I really do love her. I guess I just want to be with her so much, that I didn't notice the harm.. I just want to be with someone who loves me.. I go through hell everyday with my mom... And I want to be happy for the first time.. And I don't think that the fact that I probably only have a few more years to live, helps the situation.. But, thank you for your help! I love her, and she loves me. And, that's all that matters. :-)

  • Create New...