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True_Swindler

Nervous and Confused - The Rainbow Lounge

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True_Swindler
Posted

Right now, I have a boyfriend, and I don't know how to tell him I'm gay.
Or even tell my family. Everyone except my mom and grandmother are against homosexuals, bisexuals, transgenders, you name it.

I feel horrible for staying in the relationship but I have no clue how to break up with him. I hate lying to him, he's a really nice guy.
Uh, what should I do?


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Posted

I am by no means an expert in this area, I will however tell you that just because your family says they're against it does not mean they will not love you for who you are. My mom was against it completely and still is but she accepts me for who I am because she wants me in her life. Now that's not saying that will be the same out come for you but you have to be true to yourself no matter what and no matter who likes it. How will you ever be happy in your skin or with your life...and it's not fair to the guy even if you don't tell him that you're guy you're still happy being with him romantically. But thats just me....good luck!


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David_Cloud
Posted

Can you not try talking to him about gently changing the nature of your relationship so that you stay as close friends and continue to develop that friendship whilst at the same time explaining how you need to give expression through other friendships to your being gay.

Would your boyfriend be accepting of you being gay? Would he be understanding to talk to about how it feels to be gay? I believe we all can benefit from several very close friends. Can he be one of yours instead of completely breaking up....? I wish you well ....


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Posted

first you need to be completely ok with being gay. If you are not anybody's disapproval will hurt you. I would tell ur mom and gandma first so you have some1 on your side. Its not gonna be easy but you have to tell your boyfriend its not fair to keep him in the dark. Take ur time through all this. We all had our time in the closet its nothing to be ashamed of. Good luck message me if you want need some1 to talk to.


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Here's my suggestion: Find and read a copy of a book titled:" Coming Out, An Act of Love". I know that after I read this book, I feel strong in my decision to come out to my family and friends.


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True_Swindler
Posted

Thank you all for the advice and suggestions! I'm going to speak to my councellor and slowly work my way out of the closet.


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Posted

When my x boyfriend told me he loved me, I broke up with him to be with girls. He was also the most awesome guy and we had a ton of fun hanging out. He knew I liked girls before we daded though, so it wasn't totally unexpected. He was still really bummed.
When you tell him, let him know that it IS NOT HIM that made you this way and that he deserves to be with someone who is attracted to him the same way he is attracted to that person.
If he's as cool as you say, he shouldn't get angry at you.
Good luck!


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Elvia_Beck
Posted

Having been in your shoes, I can tell you there is no easy way...but honesty is always good. Try to stay friends....people will pass through your world and enrich you with wonderful memories.....just be true to you first.


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