Jump to content
Chud

Rock bottom! - Gay Guys! <3

Recommended Posts

Posted

It happened again, I let him in again and he hurt me again.
It hurts just as bad, 6 months... Gone!
He doesn't have strong feelings for me, this happened with a different boyfriend of mine, is it me? Do I some how scare them away? What do I do to them?
I'm literally done, I feel hurt, betrayed, lost and down right depressed, I'm done with this pathetic game called life all it does is hurt and hurt and hurt, it gives you something that you care for and look at everyday and you clean any dirt like you would do with a diamond and then it is cruelly snatched away from you!
All I can do is try and get over him, but I know that this time I will always love him I may go on with my life, but he has taken a good chunk of my heart, I know only too well you can live with half of a heart, I've done before and I know I can do it again, I don't care what any of you say but I did love him more than any of you know, I'm not in the mood for negative comments so don't give me any please don't


Share this post


Link to post
Phil_Lex_Archer
Posted

Thei fact u have a heart dat still functions for his love show the better man and dats what u are a diamond without the abi lity to be tarnished. Stsand strong Richard ur still young and plenty of loive to meet


Share this post


Link to post
Posted

It is not our rightful place to say any negative comments about another individual's relationship, so I agree with you there, you do not want anyone making such comments. It is no one's right. No matter how they feel justified in doing so.

And Richard, you've demonstrated a special level of love that is rarely often seen nowadays. Though a good deal still have it, but to be honest, most don't. This makes you special in that regards. Someone who can still love a person despite the hurt. Am I wrong to suggest that see goodness in him? I'm sure a lot of us have been there with you in that experience. I have myself. I wondered the exact same thing. Is there something about me that drives people away? Does my mere presence alone drive them off? Or is it some action?
For the most part of my life, I thought it was my mere presence alone. I believed my appearance, or perhaps my name was a factor. So I isolated myself from the goodness that life brings. I lived in the shadows and darkness of others ever since. Even to this day. I can tell you honestly, I don't even know what love is or even feels like. I thought I had an idea in the past, but that was destroyed by the very people who were blood-related to me.


Share this post


Link to post
David_Cloud
Posted

Richard, at times like this take strength from friends who love and value you for all that you have brought to our lives ..... in the bigger world and here on this site. I send the warmth of friendship and my support as a fellow traveller in this world with all its ups and downs. Hoping you can stay strong, to grieve your loss right now and in time come through your sadness. Take care....you are much loved by many.


Share this post


Link to post
Posted

Thank you evveryone!


Share this post


Link to post
Heebie999
Posted

I'm sorry to hear that you've gotten hurt. This may sound trite, and it probably won't sound particularly nice, but hopefully it'll be something you take on board later, when you're ready to. I am not trying to be mean, or to belittle your feelings. (far from) I'm trying to give you some advice that MIGHT in the long-term, help you. I can't make any guarantees. I'm not very experienced at being in relationships, but I have a fair bit of experience being hurt.
Nearly everyone has bumpy relationships before they meet "the one" At your age, you shouldn't be expecting a relationship that lasts a lifetime. If you end up with one, that's fantastic, but it's highly unlikely.
It's not six months "gone" it's six months you've had of practice for your next relationship. You should "chalk it up to experience" so to speak, and remember what you learned about it.
You should also try not to allow the hurt to poison your memories of the best parts of the relationship.
It sounds like you're someone who really jumps right into a relationship with both feet. Perhaps you should keep that in mind and try to wade into the "water" the next time around.

Please, try not to let your painful experiences keep you from allowing yourself to open up. You'll end up with a hardened, cold heart. Just try to take things at a more moderate pace. Get to know someone for a while before you commit to being boyfriends etc... It's not easy to do, it's really not, but it can can give you time to figure out if there's a chance of it working, and a chance to gauge how he feels about you, before committing something, and before opening up fully to someone.
I apologise again if this sounds cold, or doesn't seem like something you want to hear right now. I'm hoping you find it useful, and I hope that you don't close yourself off from the possibility of falling in love in the future.
Your heart will heal, and you will find another (probably others over time)


Share this post


Link to post
Posted

ignore all this crap abut not expecting a life lasting relationship at your age. You have every right to expect that, or at least to expect to be treated with kindness and understanding and love.

You are a wonderful guy and have done loads to help other people and to support them that you deserve some happiness in your life too.

I am not good in the relationship field, you know that. If it wasn’t for you I wouldn’t have one myself. People who break your heart leave scars. Hearts might heal but the scars remain.

If I could be there to hold you I would, I owe you a lot more than that. Please still love yourself and keep that great love of life that you have, and that huge smile. Lie low maybe until you feel a bit stronger but don’t change. You are unique and the world needs people like you so much

xxxx


Share this post


Link to post
Dave_Mack
Posted

So sorry to hear your relationship went sour. Is there any chance to repair it? I sure hope so but if not be thankful for the memories and like Dean said lie low for awhile. The right person will come along when the time is right..

Let me know if you need a shoulder to lean on...

Dave


Share this post


Link to post
Heebie999
Posted

Unfortunately Dean, it's unrealistic for anyone to expect a relationship to just "come along" and be perfect. There has to be mutual attraction, mutual interests, and both people (or more than 2 in a polyamorous relationship) have to be committed enough to the relationship to do the hard work of keeping the relationship working. They don't just happen.

Yes, people who break your heart leave scars that remain, and unfortunately sometimes the person you thought was the love of your life turns out to be a complete asshole, in which case good riddance to bad rubbish.

That doesn't appear to be what happened here, but Richard didn't put a lot of detail into his post as far as what happened, he talked about his feelings. (I'd imagine the details aren't something he wants to talk about, and they're really none of our business.. any of us.)

Richard: You will find someone, at some point, with whom it will work. You shouldn't assume that dating someone will lead to marriage & growing old together. You should take a relationship as it is. If you've been together for a while, and it seems to be working THEN start thinking about whether it will last a lifetime or not. Six months, or even a year or two, is NOTHING in comparison to the rest of your life. Don't be afraid to invest that long in figuring out if something might work.

You will get your heart broken. (You have) The next guy you like might be "the one" it might take 10 more, 100 more or whatever. To start, just concentrate on "I like him" then get to know him, and see where it progresses.

I'm certainly not saying that you don't deserve a great love, I'm trying to say you can't assume every guy you meet and like is "the one" and work from there. You can go as far as to assume "he MIGHT be, so let's try to find that out." It's much healthier psychologically for both of you.

You asked in your original post "is it me"..and no, it's NOT you. It's just that you & this particular guy aren't right together, at least from his perspective. He probably has a reason for feeling that way. and.. if he doesn't want to be with you, he's obviously NOT the right guy for you.

I'm not particularly good at relationships, but what I am very experienced at, is slowing down so that I don't get my heart ripped out (again)
Right now I'm dealing with a beautiful young guy (He's 26) who is sweet, and interesting, and adorable, and interested in me, who is saying out loud, often "I'm not going to go too fast. I don't want to put any pressure on you" etc.. etc.., at the same time he keeps saying things like, "I hope you're the one" and "My friend said 'wow, he might be the one'" and things like that.
He seems worried that I'm going to "leave" him..and we're not even boyfriends.. we met a week ago Saturday, and have gotten together one other time.
I like him, and I want to explore where it might go, but I have "alarm bells" going off all over the place because of these things that he's saying. He's trying NOT to set himself up to be hurt, but he's not managing to protect himself.
So.. I am dealing with exactly the advice I'm trying to give you, Richard.
I've been trying very hard to think of ways to explain it to himself. He's wonderful, but he needs to stop thinking of me as "the one" and "the love of his life" and think of me first as a friend and POTENTIAL lover.

I really hope this is making sense, and that I don't just sound like a prat.

I'm sorry the post is so bloody looooooong.


Share this post


Link to post
Drew_Higgs_Bouson
Posted

Richard I have just got home from saying bye to Dean and he sent me a txt to look at Gays.com before I went back to Uni.

Man I am so so sorry, I am like gobsmacked that this could happen to you after you done so much for me. Can I do ANYTHING?? Why does life treat the best people like this and allow the shits to have a great time??

I am so so sorry. I expect you might go quiet for a bit, I know I would be devastated if it happened to me. When you are ready please get in touch. I’ll give you my mobile in a private msg.

Dean and me were actually talking about your pics and the fun you seem to have and saying it would be awesome to get a B&B and come down for new Year to celebrate it with you and Ben. We could still come if you want anyway, just to try to cheer you up.

Virtual hugs are useless and not very comforting, but I am sending you loads of them anyway

Drew


Share this post


Link to post
Greg_Anderson_62411
Posted

Hey. *HUGS*

Your going to be okay. Trust me. That wasn't a diamond. That was a Synthetic. Your real Diamond is still out there waiting for you to find him!


Share this post


Link to post
Posted

Why should young guys not have dreams?? Todd you are not really helping and it is not going to help Richard feel any better if we argue.

He IS entitled to have that dream at his age. You might think it is not realistic but he is a wonderful guy and is entitled to have the dream of a life long relationship at his age. I did, and RIchard helps, and I hope I might have found it.

Please don't say anything that could make Richard feel worse anybody. He needs support and very positive things at the moment. Later sound advice might be ok but right now he just needs verbal hugs and comfort on here, please


Share this post


Link to post
Dave_Mack
Posted

I second Deans sentiments. And I so hope Richard can take a step back and give himself time to heal and process all that has happenned..

Richard is a very good person who has been there with advice when i needed it. We ALL need to be positive for him and be supportive at this time in his life.

Richard... I am with you.... It will get better... Take time to heal.


Share this post


Link to post
Heebie999
Posted

Richard: I hope you understand that I am *NOT* saying you shouldn't have dreams about having a wonderful relationship.. just that you shouldn't expect when you meet someone & start dating, that it's going to be THAT relationship.

I'm trying to be supportive in a REALISTIC way. Simply saying that I'm sorry it didn't work out doesn't help you move past it, nor help you learn to protect yourself from having the same intensity of pain again and again, by suggesting coping mechanisms.
I'm apparently not being as successful as I'd hoped at getting my point across.

You should DEFINITELY dream about the type of relationship you want, and what kind of guy you want to have it with.

You will get past this, and you will find someone, and you will have a wonderful relationship, hopefully one that lasts until you've had ages and ages of time together as OAP's.

I am genuinely sorry to hear it didn't work out, and that you were hurt. I genuinely want to help you lessen your pain in the future. I apologise if I'm coming across as insensitive.


Share this post


Link to post
Posted

Hi Richard, I Really think ur B/F will come back into ur life, So I am only Wishing u all the Best, but i think u will find he will be back. I am oversea's at the Moment and i got an E-Mail from my Guy SEAN telling me he has Moved 2 London, not really a nice E-Mail 2 get out here, he say's he wont be back, well i have 2 get on with Life even though i am Really Heart Broken, I will see what i will do when i get Home, So i am sorry 4 u Rich, and know what ur going through.


Share this post


Link to post
Posted

For Chud Only

Could I enfold you and keep you safe I would.
Protect you from all pain and hurt:
To hold back the world and all that causes grief:
Let you sleep, recover, and dream.

But distance forbids that I should show such care.
I cannot be there by your side.
Cannot dry the tears, repair the broken heart.
Cannot hold you tight, give back hope.

You are unique, blest with care for fellow man,
You reach out, despite your own pain.
For such as you such great joy WILL come. Till then
I can enfold you in my love.


Share this post


Link to post
Posted

Aww Dean How SWEET, I am really Moved 2 Tear's.


Share this post


Link to post
Posted

My poetry is often so bad it makes people cry!!!!!!!!!!!


Share this post


Link to post
Dave_Mack
Posted

But I think you mean BAD as emotionaly bad/sad. I have NEVER seen you write anything that doesn't come from and reach the heart. When one cries from what they read thats a sign it resonates with them. it is not bad as in poorly written. Do keep up the good work..


Share this post


Link to post
Posted

I aint ever seen BAD POETRY from u Dean, ur just Gifted.


Share this post


Link to post
pinoygwapo
Posted

hahaha


Share this post


Link to post
Posted

Duke I agree my poetry is something to laugh at!!

But this should be about Richard and supporting him


Share this post


Link to post
Posted

Dont Mind him Dean ur poetry is great like i have allready said.
and yep, this is about ur Good Friend Richard.


Share this post


Link to post
pinoygwapo
Posted

i like your poetry... *wink*


Share this post


Link to post

×