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Kimmy_Swonger

needing a little help here.. - Lesbian Ladies

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i just got out of an almost 3 year relationship with a girl i thought i was going to spend the rest of my life with. there's been jealousy issues, confusion (on her part) and alot of mixed emotions caused by the confusion.. i'm not exactly sure how to function normally again. that relationship was all i've really known for the past 2 and a half years, so i'm trying to start over again and focus on myself, but it's so hard when i have all these questions i keep beating myself up over. like 'was i not good enough? how long has she been confused? did she really love me at all?' there's so many things i want to ask her, but i don't want her to think i'm going to take her back or go crawling on my knees for her to be with me again.. how the living hell am i supposed to wake up every day knowing that everything i've known for the past few years, is suddenly gone? how do i explain the break up to my family? my friend's already know pretty much everything, but it's still hard as hell. i just don't know how to wrap my head around this situation i'm in. i'm the one who ended it and i'm the one who isn't in love anymore, but it's still the things she's done and said to me that are bothering me the most. i'm really lost and i don't know where to go from this point.. so i guess i just need some advice on how to get over this..


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Well I am coming from the point of view of being dumped and it's hard as hell to get over if you honestly were in love with the person. It's not something that will heal over nite....its been officially about 4 months for me but we were still hanging out and fwb's up until 2 months ago and now she's w someone new and that's hard as hell but I have to get over this and you will too! Head up, use your friends to lean on and occupy your time...thats what theyre there for! Talk about it, get it off your chest and just accept it and move on with your life. And that's just the start lol


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i've accepted the fact that we're over, it's just the fact of the last year was probably a lie and filled with a shit ton of confusion. it's difficult for me to just get over something like this because i put everything i had into the relationship, including moving 5hrs from my hometown just to be with her. life's just throwing a bunch of curve balls at me and they're hitting me pretty hard. :/


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Well it wouldn't be life if it werent full of curve balls lol keeps life interesting and worth living. I understand totally giving a 100% into a failed relationship...hell mine was my first relationship with a female and I knew how my mother felt about that and still put my relationship with my mother in jeopardy bc i had already fallen in love with this girl. Thank God my mother came around and is dealing with it the best she can but I didn't know it would go that well...I have decides to forgive her for the broken promises and broken heart and move on in my life. If I don't I will never be able to find my perfect person who will love and appreciate me and all I have to offer and will not break promises and leave me just when I think everything is wonderful. I am scared of heartbreak but that's a part of living life...u gotta take the good w the bad and learn from ur past.


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Hi Kimmy,

I tend to agree...life is definitely full of curve balls. But the best thing you can do for yourself is to take back your life by reclaiming your identity. I think that is the biggest thing we lose when we come out of a relationship. I would suggest doing the things you enjoy the most and go out there and mingle and meet new people. That will definitely give you the big push you need to begin healing.

Remember no one expects for you to forget over night 2.5-almost 3 years of your life. However you really shouldn't beat yourself up emotionally for things that were out of your control....it takes two to tango. So the failure of the relationship goes both ways.

Best of luck on your journey


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