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An Ode to Jock Strapp (Best read in a strong Scots Accent for a full affect) - Poetry Group

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Whilst in a hosptital bed last night
I was given news that gave me a fright
I was to have above my lap
A friendly Scotsman called Jock Strapp

He would be there to support me
And stayed around just to see
I didn't have any cause to slip
Or whilst in puiblic suddenly trip

I would say to him 'Jock you're on so tight
His reply to me was 'Aye you're right
But If I were to be free you off right now
You would walk around looking like a cow'

I had then merely to expect
My new friend Jock i had to accept
Doctors and nurses said to me
''This is how it's got to be'

So now i'm stuck with this new leech
Whose friendship he won't let me breech
He will not be so far away
It looks as if he's here to stay

He says he will be close to see
Not allowing me to ever go free
He keeps his fingers near my loins
Very close to both my groins

I know I'll have to work with Jock
To ensure my muscles will not lock
For if they decide to hang in disgrace
It will be Jock Strapp they'll have to face

Leslie Lewis (Written when I was in hosptial with a painful hernia)

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