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Time For A Sunday Laugh :D - Get HAPPY

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JOKES 1 :

A blond , a brunette n a redhead were at the top of a cliff looking down at the beach.

Suddenly a genie appears to them n says
"I will grant you each one wish if you'll jump off the side of this cliff."

So the redhead jumps off n shouts "Seagull" n turns into a seagull n flies away.

Then the brunette jumps off n shouts "Whale" n turns into a whale ,
falls into the sea n swims away.

Finally the blond runs towards the cliff edge ,
but trips at the last second , as as she falls she shouts out "Shit"
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JOKES 2 :

To celebrate their 7th anniversary , a man n his wife spend the weekend at an exclusive golf resort. He's a pretty good golfer , but she only just started. When they head down to the golf course after a lavish lunch n a bottle of champagne , they notice a beautiful mansion a couple of hundred yards behind the first hole.

"Let's be extra careful , honey," the husband says , "If we damage that house over there , it'll cost us a fortune."

The wife nods , tees off n - bang ! - sends the ball right through the window of the mansion.

"Jesus Christ," the husband says. "I told you to watch out for that house. Alright , let's go up there , apologize n see what the damage is."

They walk up to the house n knock on the door.

"Come on in," a voice in the house says.

The couple open the door n enter the foyer. The living room is a mess. There are pieces of glass all over the floor n a broken bottle near the window. A man sits on the couch.

When the couple enter the room , he gets up n says, "Are you the guys who just broke my window?"

"Um, yeah," the husband replies, "sorry about that."

"Not at all , it's me who has to thank you. I'm a genie n was trapped in that bottle for a thousand years. You've just released me. To show my gratitude , I'm allowed to grant each of you a wish. But ... I'll require one favor in return."

"Really? That's great!" the husband says. "I want a million dollars a year for the rest of my life."

"No problem ... that's the least I can do. And you, what do you want?" the genie asks , looking at the wife.

"I want a house in every country of the world," the wife says.

The genie smiles. "Consider it done."

"And what's this favor we must grant in return, genie?" the husband asks.

"Well , since I've been trapped in that stupid bottle for the last thousand years , I haven't had sex w a woman for a v long time. My wish is to sleep w your wife."

The husband scratches his head , looks at the wife n says, "Well, we did get a lot of money n all these houses , honey. So I guess I'm fine if it's alright w you."

The genie n the wife disappear in a room upstairs n make love for an hour , while the husband stays in the living room.

When they are done , the genie rolls over , looks at the wife n asks , "How old exactly is your husband?"

"31," she replies.

"And he still believes in genies ? That's amazing !"
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JOKES 3 :

3 Americans are on a vacation hiking in a jungle in Brazil.

While there , they are attacked by cannibals. The cannibals say they'll eat them if they dont complete 2 tasks. They agree.

The first task is to go in to the center of the jungle n collect 8 of one fruit. The first tourist , Craig collects 8 oranges. The second , Bob finds 8 grapes. They all sit n wait for Roy but they don't see him so they just go on w/o him.

The next task is to shove all of the fruit that they collected up their ass showing no emotion on their face. Well Craig gets to 2 oranges before he starts crying. So they tie him to a stake ready to be burned. Bob gets to 6 grapes before he starts laughing uncontrollably n they tie him to the stake too.

Just before the cannibals set alight to the stake Craig says to Bob "Why did you start laughing you could have gone free.", Bob says "Well b/c I just saw Roy coming out of the woods w 8 pineapples."
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PS : I must clarify that the third joke is purely for a laugh lol I think It kinda makes me feel scary first when I was reading but the last part of It makes me laugh lol , Well I personally love the 2nd joke but would never have done that If m the husband ,, Poor wife ,,, LOL


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Posted

As always Ella you put a smile on my face


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I had the best laugh for the day. Truly cracked me up. The last joke was just too good imaging Roy with the pineapples up his ass lolzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz


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Brittany_Patterson_37080
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i loved all the jokes they where histerical nice job Ella


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Sharry_Song
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Haha! That's hilarious sis!! Awesome job. And the poor wife. Pineapples ouch that would hurt.


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Ahahahaha I love this!(: Ella, this was a great delivery


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@Carol : Glad I put a smile on your face ))
@Shabsapova n Sharry : Exactly lol I have to clarify this joke as I find It a little disgust w the thoughts but lol It is so hard to picture that *ewwwww* lol Poor Roy xD

@Brittany n Stasi : Glad the delivery have sent to you girls lol

Above all these , thank you for reading n laughing w me hahaha

x^_____________________________________________^x


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HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! The last one made me laugh real good!


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Ikr Amanda , I m glad you're laughing xx


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