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Brian_Micheal_Beran

i need help - The Rainbow Lounge

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Posted

i just came out to my parents as trans* but got totally blown off. i need help and support. some one please what do i do. i may lose my boyfriend over this


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Michelle_Jamieson
Posted

Anybody worth your time and love would not ask you to life a half-life of utter misery by not allowing you to be who you are. Because that, is cruelty. It would be better to be alone for a little while, walk a ways to finding peace in your skin. Than to live a lie to please others who cannot accept you. When there r people out there somwhere who will always have there arms open to you no matter what u do or say coz they love u; Even if u like coldplay or collecting stamps or something 'wierd' like that


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Michelle_Jamieson
Posted

I don't know your family personally. But in time they may come around. Realise they haven't lost anything. Your still and always will be their child. Your still you what ever guise you come in.

I'm sure people who are going through or have come throught what your going through will be able to aid you better than i gave or can. But i'd thought i'd extend a little sign of care from another human being in the meantime.

Take care, and all the best to you
xx


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Yeremiah_Hardt
Posted

Any questions feel free to ask


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Yeremiah_Hardt
Posted

Just be honest, and they will see the beautiful you


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Posted

i got good news my boyfriend told me he loves me and will be mine still he will adapt to it but is still with me


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Leslie_Lewis_52026
Posted

Dear Brian

Can I be brutally honest with you? The question is how deep is your relationship (if there is a relationship at all) and what are you boy friends feelings about it? Have you discussed your feelings at all or his feelings with you?. Do you think the answer it so wash your linnen - clean, dirty or otherwise - on a public sight? Have you tried talking to him without any screaming or shouting at each other? You should seek the assistance of a gay councellor where by both of you can express your views independently etc.

By writing on a public sight shows several main faults with your argument unless you are just wanting to create attention for yourself in which case you are just wasting everybody's time if that is the case. You do NOT wash your linnen (dirty or otherwise) in public. You have not given your boy friend any opportunity to answer for himself. By what you are saying with the greatest of respect I doubt if you have any idea of the seriousness of what a relationship is about let alone the responsibilities of having one. What joint interests do you have? What are your family's and those of your boyfriends reactions to you being gay - in fact do they know at all of your sexuality? Are you both working or studying? What are your stances on drinking and smoking? Are you both clubbing it every night? Shall I go on? It sounds like to me you need to grow up a lot otherwise you would not be bothered writing what you do on site. If it just sex you enjoy having with him THEN BE HONEST AND TELL HIM. Not to be honest or not to be open with your feelings with each other can only lead to disaster, upset, confusion for both of you and self inflicted pain.

I am sorry and I do not intend to hurt you. When you come on line for help and advice do NOT expect sympathy or having your own way each time you ask. I have to be brutally honest with you as it is far better to suffer the emotional hurt BEFORE things get too involved with each other rather than afterwards.

However life is STILL worth living with all its disappointments. Have you thought that there could be a reason for it because something better to suit you (and your boy friend) is ahead for each of you in your own lives and maybe with different partners. Experiences like this are most valuable as you will find out as you get older and meet more people. Life is indeed a learing curve for all of us in our own lives. Leslie (Lewis)


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Michelle_Jamieson
Posted

Perhaps you meant no harm but gave spite+self satisfaction - Was that really necessary? His last update -3 Days ago- was positive news! What ever bee's in your bonnet; you don't need to take it out on someone else. I suspect your using commenting; to pubilicly vent your own personal experiences (as is human+normal). It takes guts, real guts to ask for help. Maybe he felt alone. Some people on here, shockingly actually give a damn about fellow beings in distress. Maybe that's why he choose to reach out here


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Michelle_Jamieson
Posted

I followed on by doing exactly what i was crticising - by the very act of critisizing it. Krist Being human is exhausting and angsty.

El Hugeomungus Hypocritato - Moi!
(I'm sorry)


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Flash632
Posted

Brian, do you feel trapped in a Man's body? Then you need to discuss this with a professional person who can help you to 'transition'. It's a gradual process that may take years to complete. Your boyfriend should be compassionate and empathic in this process if he truely loves you. Patrick


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Posted

michelle patrick thank you for your support. i don't have a lot of good support where i live and here i know is a place where others can help me cause they understand my feelings


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Michelle_Jamieson
Posted

I was a bit embarrassed of myself to be honest, got a bit shouty (but then again i have no self esteem - so only have to breathe to be embarassed).
But yeah exactly if you had tight-knit relationships wholly accepting of you in your real life, who werent the immediate people concerned as part of your issues - well you wouldnt be reaching out for the kind advice of strangers. But you don't have that support, so reach out you did.
All the best you lovely xXxx


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Posted

and lewis this is a lgbt site. ive seen things on cock rings and hook ups. you have closed your heart. there are people here who this is their only way to stay alive. i can tell you never felt love or compassion because you sent me that message in private. and it did not phase me so you put it here. you need to feel love and not hate so much


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Flash632
Posted

Your welcome, but also know the the process is slow and tedious. Patrick


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Leslie_Lewis_52026
Posted

I welcome any SENSIBLE discussions that do not induce your own personal nasty views and comments which are based on self egotistic values so Brian and Michelle may I respectfully suggest you think of some other INTERESTING or NEW type of discussion of interest to discuss on site that would unite us all in a reasonable train of thought.

One thing that really upsets me that I admit to and have no time for is the gross cruelty to animals who give us all unconditional love. A main personal campaign I am involved with now is the nationalised gross homophobia police in this country - espeically in Blackpool UK are engaged upon.

Petitions could be drawn up to enforce homophobia being a serious issue and not just 'one for the statute books' as it is now. Homophobia has been a long standing issue with police forces in this country and your time and support with this issue would prove far more productive to all others who share my views - and believe me there are many who share me views but need to be encouraged to support gay people with doing something about it.


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Michelle_Jamieson
Posted

Some people were trying to help... It's a thing people with heart do sometimes. Not unlike some who only offer words, purely when it's to their own benefit, to massage their own giant ego. What you are accusing others of is 100% Pot kettle. There is nothing respectful about you sir. And adding stuff about anti-homophobia and kindness to animals to the latter half of your last comment does not subtract from the nastiness undertones and border-line narcissism; That comes from -you-


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Flash632
Posted

Sorry to learn about your breakup with your boyfriend. From what you had previously said, your boyfriend didn't understand your situation, didn't know how to handle what you wanted to do with your body. Patrick


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Leslie_Lewis_52026
Posted

Michelle Jamison Do me a favour. look into the mirror first then study the Bible at what Jesus said about not judging others - you are doing just that. Do you believe in the Bible at all? I seriously doubt it. You appear to me to be self obsessive with your talk and self opinions. Just close this subject NOW and grow up . If you cannot accept other people viewpoints THEN LEAVE THE SITE ALTOGETHER AS YOU ARE NOT A CLEVER PERSON BY ANY MEANS.


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Posted

huh pot meet kettle leslie? you been hating on this forum the whole time and guess what im pagan. i don't read the bible at all its not part of my faith so good day but you need to look at your choices before your skeletons come out


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