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Jony_Star

I Don't See How Jealousy Is Cute - The Rainbow Lounge

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Posted

over time with each of my 6 relationships that i've had...i've always learned something new...but one relationship was pretty drastic for me...and it had to do with jealousy...so of course ever since then i've avoided jealous guys...because one boyfriend pretty much ruined it for all the other jealous guys...not that jealousy should be something to look for in a relationship...but this guy wanted to know my every move...and that wasn't gonna happen...and then later on in the years...i met this guy and he seemed interested for a while...and he said if we ever got serious he would pretty much check up on me every 4 hrs...and i'm like why???...and that's another thing i really don't like...i mean i'll admit that it's cute at 1st...but then it really becomes a hassle for me when guys get clingy...because i'm a person that needs my own space...i'm down for quality bf time...and yea they'll have most dedication of my time...but they're not gonna have it all the time...i mean with the 2nd bf it got to the point where he wanted to know where i was and who i was with...it almost felt like having a 2nd father rather than a bf...and i was already dealing with enough crap from my actual dad to be having to also deal with my 2nd bf who was trying to act like my dad...so obviously it doesn't work out for me....i mean when i hear people describing how they like the fact that their partners still get jealous...it's like how is that a good thing???...again at 1st it's cute...but when it gets to the point where it's out of control...it's really annoying...and in severe situations it's really bad cuz it could also lead to obsessive behavior...thank God i have never been in a really bad situation...but anywho...i guess all people see when it comes to "cute" type of jealousy...is omg he/she loves me so much...but the way i see it...it's more of a trust issue...and you're pretty much telling me that you don't trust me...and i've heard the whole..."i trust you...i just don't trust them"...trusting them is besides the point...because at the end of the situation...you're more worried about what my reaction will be...which falls under the "trusting me" category...and some partners get the sense that they're protecting...yea that may fall with the cute part of jealousy...but let me tell you that although i'm not physically strong...i'm sure i can still handle the situation by myself...i don't need you to save me all the time...i don't know...i'm just an independent type of person...always have been and always will...and well this topic came to mind when i was having a conversation with a friend last nite on the fone...and he said he actually looks for jealous guys...which brought me this discussion...so yea...well i think that's all i had to say for now...like always feel free to leave some comments down below for me to read...and well be prepared to read more topics from me as i continue to live such an interesting life...love you all...


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Homer_Bozarth
Posted

i agree with you Jony, jealousy ruins every relationship no matter what


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Jim_Wilson_61132
Posted

yes its not good to be obsessive but I met a guy that was a bit jealous and as time went on things got better but he did leave due to his jealousy mind


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Posted

i mean some people can't help it...but i don't mind so long as they know how to control it and not go all out and start overreacting...


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Homer_Bozarth
Posted

at least i will not be jealouse of you sweet sexy Babo, you have free rain on what ever you want to do baby


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Flash632
Posted

I don't know, I think that some jealousey IS good, it can show the other person that you really care about them. I sometimes get jealouse with my Jack but he dosn't view this negatively and Jack sometimes gets jealouse of me and I like his jealousy. Our relationship of 15years would not have survived if jealousey was are only concern. It could be, Jony that you are not ready for a serious relationship, a commited relationship. Patrick


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Das_Davis
Posted

I love jealousey, it shows me that you do care and that you do want me, and I am a jealous woman but im not over the top with it unless you give me a reason to be. Too much jealousey will kill a relationship, thats why you must take the time out and get to know your partner and they need to get to know you. So you both know how much to give and when to stop.


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Flash632
Posted

Yes, you're on the right track Das Davis. Patrick


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Posted

well right now...yea i'm not looking for a serious relationship...but still...even when i was in a serious relationship...i had 2 bf smother me with their jealousy...like i said at 1st it's cute...cuz of the main reason that Patrick and Das pointed out...oh how cute...he/she really loves me...but i think after a while...it gets old...it gets to a point where i think it's more a trust issue rather than you caring about me...when i was in a serious relationship...i knew my place and i had no trouble telling other guys to take a hike...again i can handle matters like guys hitting on me by myself...i don't need you clinging on me like i'm some toy you don't wanna share...and i usually made my partner feel that he has nothing to worry about...but if despite my best efforts he still gets jealous...then it really annoys me...because there is clearly a problem that we would need to address...another thing that gets me...is the whole my previous bf cheated on me...now i cannot stress enough when i say i hate being compared to previous bf...but as a peaceful person...i try to keep my cool and understand...but it also gets annoying...because i don't know how else i can make you see that i'm not that guy that cheated on you...but some people are so twisted...i can only try to help them to a certain point...if they can't understand...well they have to go...because i really can't deal with those issues...i mean my 2nd bf was such a control freak...because his bf cheated on him...and well to him...all the guys that even took a quick glance at me where checkin me out...thank God he wasn't the type to really make a scene...but then when we were alone...i would have to put up w/his jealousy then...it was ridiculous...eventually i left him...then i ended up w/3rd bf who unfortunate had a bf that had cheated on him in the past...and i was like oh great...this one might be just as jealous if not more...but to my surprise he was the silent jealous type...which i didn't mind...like maybe once in a while he told me he still gets jealous but at least he didn't try to control me...which was super nice after getting out of my previous relationship...well then my 2nd bf couldn't let things go...so idk how he got my 3rd bf's number...and he called him while he was having sex w/some other guy who was supposed to be me...well my 3rd bf tracks my 2nd bf down...and beats the shit out of him...so my 2nd bf calls me up asking me why did i send my 3rd bf after him...i was confused cuz i had no idea what he was talkin about...so i went to go find my 3rd bf...and question him about it...he said had clearly had enough and asked me why would i do that to him???...of course i didn't know what he was talking about either...he told me about the fone call...and i explained where i was and everything...even tho i really didn't have any obligation to do so...because again that's where his trust should kick in...but i told him that i wasn't gonna stick around for him to take out his jealousy rage on me one day...and well beating up somebody is over the top for me...he was like that's fine...i'm sorry you feel that way...i did feel sorry for leaving him...because he had his issues...but i guess at the time i was totally unprepared to deal with someone like that...also didn't have the patience to deal with it...but well now i'm a bit more patient...but still i find myself not wanting to deal w/jealousy whatsoever...i rather my bf be a silent jealous person...i believe in trusting that person to be able to respect your relationship...and i expect that in return...i actually don't think i'm asking for too much...and i think not wanting jealousy doesn't make me not ready for a serious relationship...i think it's normal to not wanna put up with certain things...jealousy being one of those things...i mean seeing as i'm more patient now than i was back with my other bf...maybe i can try and help my next bf to actually see that there's nothing to be jealous about...but well i'll just have to wait and see when i actually find him...


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Flash632
Posted

Well, I do wish you happiness in your persuit of that perfect fit for a boyfriend. You seem to know exactly what you want in a boyfriend. You also may be trying a little bit too hard to find 'him' or you may be giving out strong signals that guys pick up on. Patrick


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Posted

hahaha...i don't see how you get the conclusion that i'm trying too hard or giving out strong signals...but i'm actually not looking for anybody right now...i'm actually kinda dealing a situation at the moment...but well if and when the time comes...yea...i'll be ok...


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