Jump to content
Becs_Lamonby

My Life - Your WRITES

Recommended Posts

Posted

so m going to let you'se all in on a part of my life only a few know about. so in early 2011 at the age of 17, I was diagnosed with stage 1 paranoia, This meant that I was worried all the time about everything, although my doctors and family thought that it would go away so they didn't do anything about it,

It then got to the point that, I began to freak out with simple things like walking to school, and sitting in a classroom surrounded by people, because I thought they were looking at me and watching me, I then went back to the doctors and they diagnosed me with stage 2 paranoia and again sent me home not doing anything else,

In between these two things I was diagnosed with clinical depression and borderline personality disorder, - both of which are now under control, back in 2006, 2007, 2008 I attempted suicide three times each year as I could not handle anything or the medical conditions that i had as a young child, one of which gave me a very faint scar across my stomach

My most recent attempt (2009) when I was in year 10, left me with more problems then answers, that I didn't know what to do with, I was living with my brother at the time and put me into contact with a phycologist I weekly, as well as a current youth worker, The phycologist explained that she thought everything was contributed to the hard childhood I had, Everything is more or less under control .

My father recently told me that I had paranoia as a child, but he didn't understand it and did nothing about it, which he regrets now, Over the last nine months my paranoia has progressed from stage 2 paranoia to stage 3 It gets to the point that some days I cannot attend university as I cannot get on the train without freaking out, or I can't be around others without fear of something bad happening to me - which now I am considered to be borderline Bi polar, but am not given any medication as due to my paranoia I won't take it.

Also in 2011 I was told that I have a learning disability - Only dyslexia and its also thought that I might have aspergers - due to my problems with social situations ( I contribute this to my paranoia) I have over the last two years lost my partner in 2011 and my best friend a week ago both to mental illnesses (bi polar and paranoia).

I pray everyday for the sake of myself and my family that I can get better and life my life happy and at peace, You wouldn't know any of these things just by the look of me, I look like a sweet, innocent, normal, eighteen year old girl, but I am infact not, I hide these issues very well and do not speak much of the problems I have nor of my past.

I know that i have god on my side, and I know with the love he provides me and the support and encouragement I get from my Dad and step mum that I can get better, as I am going through I few hard things over the next few weeks, I just ask that you keep me in your thoughts and your prayers everyday. Okay, Have a lovely day, x . x . x . x . x .


Share this post


Link to post
Posted

We love who you are n not what you are


Share this post


Link to post
Posted

Thanks for sharing w us .. we love you loads Becs xx


Share this post


Link to post
Posted

Thankyou, Ella, you are one of the two who know about this before I posted this, and you have been giving me courage and support that I will get through this, n I thankyou for it sooo much!. I don't think words can tell you how grateful I am to have you in my life. x. Love you sooooo much Ella.


Share this post


Link to post
Posted

Bec
I have to say you are one of the most honest girls I know and brave you are a warrior woman stronger then you know.
While others run and hide you not only stay and fight but you scream I am here and I am proud of who I am.
Fight on brave Bec.
I love you my friend.


Share this post


Link to post
Posted

Aw Carol, Thankyou, you're love and support means more then you'll ever know!. It's use that keep going, I know m going to win this fight!. You are the only other one who knew about this before I posted this, so having you both already know and there for support means so much, because I know when its hard you're there to lift me up and remind me I'm a warrior and can get through anything.

I love you too Carol!.


Share this post


Link to post
Posted

Becky all i can say is that i am extremely proud of you my dear. Although i am much older then you,you have indeed thought me a lot about life from the time i have met you.I am honoured to have a friend like you with whom i can openly share all my feeling with. Thank you for everything my Becky YOU ROCK!! and We Love you loads :-)


Share this post


Link to post
Posted

Aw shabby! you rock too!. haha thankyou for being there for me!. I love you loads too!. I'm always there to listen to you, when you need like I know you're there for me.

Means the world to have your support and love.

xo


Share this post


Link to post
Yeremiah_Hardt
Posted

Know that I love you, maybe you should try hypnotherpy.


Share this post


Link to post
Posted

becs if u ever need a huggg just holler so proud for you xxxxx


Share this post


Link to post
Posted

Thankyou Ola . and Yeremiah I don't really believe in Hypnotherapy, thankyou.


Share this post


Link to post
Yeremiah_Hardt
Posted

Ok, please give it a shot


Share this post


Link to post

×