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Jony_Star

There's A Point To Long Relationships - The Rainbow Lounge

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Posted

so my friend is telling me he wants to leave his husband...can't really say i didn't see that coming...he really didn't take the time to really know him and everything was fast...he knew him for 6 months before moving to another state...and lived with him 9 months so far...he asked what i thought about all of this...and well like i said i knew from the start that he should've gotten to know his husband but hoped for the best...i mean this is what happens when you rush in to find love...when "love" blinds you...i guess you can blame it on all the romantic flicks...i mean i'm not saying there is no chance of love in short relationships...but it's really rare...so yea my friend took a chance and found out it wasn't love...but he complains that it could take years for you to know someone...and it's like well yea duh...that's why they're called LONG relationships...i mean how well can you know someone in 6 months???...i bet you not enough to move in with him 4 states away...and most definitely not enough to get married...i think he got married 3 months later...so it was 9 months...so now he's talking about leaving cuz he can't handle the stress...and how he acts like a child...and what could he expect???...he moved in not knowing much...and worse got married before even knowing what it's like to live with him and everything...he was in a rush to do everything...love isn't a race...people concern themselves with falling love before they get "old"...i once met a guy who said he was in love after 6 months...he said 6 months is like eternity...6 months is 6 months...not eternity...for me love is an investment....you invest your time getting to know this person...assure yourself that your feelings are truly there...to find out if you're really in love with this person no matter what...sure all relationships have their ups & downs...and that exactly why you have to take your time...i mean you can't just get tired of the person and move on just like that...a short relationship yea...a long relationship i find it hard...but marriage???...marriage is a big step...and that when you have to be sure that you're ready to spend your life together...i don't know...for me marriage is a stronger connection/bond with your partner...it's above being just boyfriends and girlfriends...and to throw something like that away because you can't stand the person anymore...it's like you shouldn't have taken that step in the 1st place...my friend says i'm delusional...but last i checked i'm not the one who packed up and left my family to live with someone who i thought i loved after knowing him for 6 months...people say love makes you do crazy things...but it doesn't...people do crazy things because they don't want to end up alone or they're tired of being alone...in a desperate need to find love...everyone wants to make their fairy tale true...but instead they find out that suddenly their happily ever after ending isn't there...probably feeling more alone than ever...probably even lose hope of finding that love...but well these are just my thoughts...i think i'd like to read what other people have to say...so please feel free to leave your comments...


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StarCrossed
Posted

I would have to agree wholeheartedly with you


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Posted

thank you for taking the time to read this...and for you input...^_^


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Wilbert_Bishop
Posted

WOW!!! So you understand that it is about commitment and learning to love the person. Love is a action not just a state of being!!! Most people are not strong enough for a long term relationship. It is hard work and when you find someone you are willing to get to know time does not matter at all. I agree with you ........


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Flash632
Posted

I think that we may confuse love with relationship or relationship with love. Both sometimes happen together but really are separate. Usually a person gets to know the other person first through dating and doing many kinds of activities together and this can go on for an extended period of time, a year or more. During that extending time we get to see and experience the other person and their personality. We may hug and kiss and even make love during this time to learn what it's like to be with the other, to search the others soul and see if we are compatable. There will also be times of disagreement and even an upset may happen to split for awhile and this can also be seen as normal relating or growing in awareness of each other. If you are serious about each other, really like each other, then these spats of disagreement or upset won't break up your relationship but in fact make it stronger because your reaching for common ground in knowing each other. This is where love begins to enter into your relating, your knowing of the other and saying to yourself and then out loud, I think that I am falling in love with you and/or I love you. There is a kind of blindness that can occur at this stage of your relationship when the other person can't do anything wrong, he's perfect or she's perfect in everyway and you cannot go on living without her or him and you go crazy in loving the other. But this is a faze of your relationship, it dosn't last forever but it does seem like it will. When you gradually come down to earth again and then learn to relate together, this is when the hard work of living and relating begins. You have each other and you see the blemishes in each other but these don't matter any longer becuase you are now in love with the other. This is a HUGE process that takes alot of time to experience and it's unique to each couple but it's what makes the world go round. I hope this helps someone. Patrick Shevlin


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Tommy_Storey
Posted

@ Patrick,
I thank you,as you have now Shown me
at what stage what my B/F & I are at,in our Vary
loveing / careing Relationship.
Thank you ......
Tommy lol xxx


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Posted

i completely agree with Patrick...and the key to that love is time and patience...like honestly...everyone knows that slow & steady wins the race...you won't get anything good out of rushing into things...becuz it could end just as quickly as it began...


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