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I would like to come out to my family but i just back down when i am about to. - Gay Guys! <3

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Posted

Hi guys.
I came out to my mom last year, and she promised me not to tell anyone else until i dedice to say it myself.
I´ve been tryna find a way to tell my family that i am Gay but it is so hard cuz everytime i wanna tell ´em, there is always a commentary against gay ppl, thing that makes me feel afraid to tell who i am...
I feel so scared of they wouldn´t talk to me anymore.
So i just want you to give me some hints.
And in the end i know that is not necessary to tell them that i am gay, it just that i am sick and tired of being in the closet, i just wanna be who i am and how i am...
I am gay and i proud of it, it is not a choice, i just was born like this and this is how i am gonna stay. .. I´ll struggle for me to be happy.


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Carlos_Gutierrez_61729
Posted

The truth is that not all of your family will approve of your lifestyle, but they will love you for being a family member. It's a complicated process that I've been dealing with for over 20 years. I came out at a young age, but being from a Latino background...it is something very tough for some of my family members to accept. My best recommendation is for you to accept yourself and be yourself. Strive for excellence and independence. Be able to support yourself to be the decision-maker for yourself in the future. Rely on good friends that understand the gay lifestyle to be there and love you unconditionally. My friends, gay and straight, have been the backbone to my happiness. Regretfully, it has not been my family. My friends are my close family! My real family have earned a different spot in my heart. We love each other, but only my friends truly listen to life's situations and are there to help me without judgment. Love yourself...and everyone will love you too! Those who do not love you are simply not happy with themselves! Good luck!


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Posted

Thank you man, I accept myself... So now i i am sure of who i am.
We have a lot of things to deal with but go ahead.
I am proud of myself and I´ll live my life the best way i can.
Thanks.


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Carlos_Gutierrez_61729
Posted

May I add, every experience that you encounter may bring happiness or some pain. Either way, you're right about going forward and moving ahead. These experiences will only make you stronger and wiser. The great thing that you have already done is accepted yourself. Incredible opportunities lay ahead!!!


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Posted

How do you feel when you hear anti-gay comments or jokes, and you don't say anything, or worse, when you act like it is funny? I know, because I've done the same thing. It took me much too long, living a double life, a life of deception, to finally be true to myself. Fortunately, my family pretty much has accepted it, though they're not comfortable talking about it. Carlos's comment is good, not everyone may accept the "new" you, but what's important is your own acceptance and a growing spiritual connection.


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Posted

I wish you all the best of luck and opportunities when coming out Jose. Knowing there are others out there who understand and will comfort you no matter what outcome is something encouraging. It's not a choice, although we may not always understand how, but it happens. You cannot be forced to be this way, you must be born this way to enjoy it. I did not understand how I came to be how I am today myself. I'm still trying to understand it. When I noticed this early on in my teen years, I came out after an unwelcomed discovery by my mother. She did not take the discovery well at all. Neither did my father or the rest of my family. It's a very touchy subject with them. I guess because they like to remember me how I used to be before I came out to them. I wish it had been better since we don't see eye to eye anymore. But not everyone will turn out the same way. Just stay positive and go for the opportunities that come your way. I wish you the best of luck with you and your family Jose.


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Posted

It is so hard Gary Barkey. In the past i had to judge gay ppl as well, to make me feel accepted even though i was dying inside.


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Posted

thanks for your words Esteffan Rye Rosero, You are right but we have to move forward and no matter what ppl think so i´ll be myself. Thanks guys.


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Posted

My pleasure Jose.
On the other note, I never really bothered with fitting in the society of school or wherever I was at. It didn't matter to me. But don't get me wrong, I did not believe anyone was below me. I treated everyone with equal opportunity and respect. When I was peer pressured by my classmates about someone they were taunting because to them they believed the person was gay, I did not join with the in crowd to be accepted and avoid being made fun of. At times I said nothing and ignored the popular crowd when they asked for my input. And ofcourse there were times where I stood up for the one being targeted. Even if I didn't know them. Not because I thought of being a hero. But because I knew exactly how it felt to be the one targeted. Those times brought up memories of my own past. A past that saddened and infuriated me at the same time. But I withheld my rage against the ignorant classmates of mine. I was not stronger than all of them, but I could hold my own in a fight by myself. But I was not looking to fight if it could be avoided. So I stood up for the targeted classmates, some ended peacefully, and some ended in conflicts. By then I was no longer regretting that I had fought back to defend myself and the other person if the outcome had no other outcome but conflict. It was defense. But I knew that if I hadn't, I would probably see my past relived for someone else. At times I took the punishment and pain meant for the other that was primarily targeted. I took it without hesitation. Because from my experiences, I could handle the pain and stress that came afterwards. So no, I was not one of the popular crowd. In fact, in some schools I went to, I became the target after my efforts to protect another. I became the school's gay or queer boy. Especially at times I took the punishment instead of the other. But it did not matter. I knew I could handle whatever they threw at me. No matter how painful or humiliating the punishment was.


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Mark_Card
Posted

Jose
I live in a city that has strong Religious beliefs and ruled by the Christian College that is here, but I try not to let that stop me from being who I am. I am very comfortable with being gay and have learned to not care what others think. I think that with your mother being as accepting as you say the rest of the family will be as well. When I came I was 30 and was terrified what my family would think. Once work got out to them the response was so positive that I wish that I had been able to do it earlier. I was more terrified as to waht my Grandfather would think as he was of the "old school" manner and a bit well to just say it a bit Racist. So I really didn't want him to know, but was very surprised that he accepted me for who I was and not what I was. He is gone now but that is one of the things that I will always remember him for. He treated me and my Partner at the time with the same love and respect as he did before he knew. Your family may surprise you and be fine with it and act treat you as they always have. But living where I do I learned that as I long as I am comfortable with me and accept myself that I don't really care what others here think. There are things that I don't like about them but treat them no different. We all are different in many ways and as long as you are comfortable with who you are then other are more likely to accept you as well. Wish you the best of luck and let me know how things turn out.


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Andrew_Sykes
Posted

Jose

just be yourself - like the others have said some will accept you has you are and some will not - been through the same procedure - some family members accepted some did not and will not talk to me anymore nor let their kids talk to me because they think i will be a bad influence on them or may be a peado - that is the way of things - just be yourself be happy with yourself and hopefully all will be well - just enjoy yourself and be yourself - if you cannot tell someone because you know they will not like the idea of you being gay then do not tell them - it is hard at times but sometimes you have to decide to keep it to yourself and let them be ignorant of your sexuality - it is not a bad thing just something you have to do at times - i have told all of my friends because some would not understand - we served together in the army and they would not understand - its a macho thing - though i am not fem - but it would creep them out that there is someone who is gay - they would be thinking stuff like has he got aids can i drink out of the same glass or cup or use the same fork and knife etc - though we did for a lot of years - its a mentality thing - just enjoy yourself and be yourself and be safe - thats about it.

Have some fun.


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Posted

Oh, thanks. Believe that i feel stronger now to get through this.
So i just gotta be myself and that is the only thing i have to care.
Thanks guys. I needed some support.


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Posted

Maybe you could start by saying something when they tell jokes about gays. Something like ''That's not funny'', ''That's not fair we should not joke about them...''


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Posted

Oh, i like that idea Mario, i have thought about it but i never wanted to say it before but it will be nice to try it, so somebody has to tell them that it is not funny and no good at all.


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Posted

It may open the door to talk about it, if they ask you why I guess that would be the best time to tell them. Best of luck to you


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Posted

yes, maybe that step is gonna help me to come out to ppl and i would like to help them to think different, but at least i am gonna try to stop the bullying.


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