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MEMBER QUESTION: Sex drive - The Rainbow Lounge

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MEMBER QUESTION: My girlfriend and I have been together for 6 months, it's not long, I know, but we really love each other. Everything is good, the normal ups and downs. But I have one problem, she doesn't have as high a sex drive as me! I could have sex with her every day, and lately it seems as if we only do it once a week!

She's 25 and I'm 31...so I don't think it's an age thing. What can I do to increase her sex drive? Should I consider splitting up with her if I'm constantly frustrated cos she can't give it to me more. (on a side note, when we do have sex it is out of this world!).

Thanks for your advice.


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June_Ushikoshi_Aka_June_Asia
Posted

I wonder if the feeling the pressure to perform more often is making her pull back a little? Generally speaking I want intimacy more than my partner. Feeling relaxed and comfortable can help, in my non professional opinion, 6 month for some people are still build up period of trust...

June


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Noah_Kyler_61913
Posted

dear tara, everyone has their needs and its normal especially in sex. are you upset about it that you both only have sex once a week lately? sometimes, two person being together is not just about making love but its more than that. spending precious moment with your other half... do not split because of that. try to talk to her openly with your heart. pillow talk .

noah


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June_Ushikoshi_Aka_June_Asia
Posted

@noah, I think Tara is just delivering the question from another member.


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Posted

@June
Thanks !
Tara


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June_Ushikoshi_Aka_June_Asia
Posted

@tara, I have a feeling you guy are more active than my partner and I, lol


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bill240
Posted

I go along with what Noah says; the incredible growth that two people can make in a relationship can be so amazing; just putting up with that different person, their habits, different opinions, and approaches to everything, and staying together in spite of it all. Yes, sometimes the sex helps overcome those frustrations, but it can also just be one of many incredible aspects of growing into the other person.


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Annie_Thompson_36018
Posted

Relationships are about so much more than sex If you and your gf are good together how about discussing this issue as a couple and trying to reach a compromise. It isn't all about you or her but about meeting both of your needs to some degree. If you can both appreciate how the other one fees it isn't hard to find common ground, maybe your gf feels a bit pressured knowing your drive is higher, maybe you need to let her know you can be comfortable with kissing and touching without it necessarily leading to sex. Talk to her and do it with gentle respect for her point of view, try not to make her feel like that's all you care about. Hope it works out


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Posted

I worry what my sex drive may be now that I'm fifty. I hope it won't go down, where I can't satisfy my bf.


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Posted

Tara I wouldn't make such a big issue over her sex drive. I think if you two were to sit down and talk about it, or try role playing, something to spice up your love life with each other, you will be fine. Don't dump her because of her sex drive that would be foolish.


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Fiona_Rose_Roberts
Posted

Spice it up! And just talk to her. Let her know how you feel on the subject, and maybe things will get better from there. Try being spontaneous too... I've found that works effectively for me.


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Flash632
Posted

I'm told I could be more spontaneous but I find that difficult, I'm more of a planning type person.


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