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Andy102

Have you had a Long Distance Relationship and how did that workout for you?

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Andy102
Posted

Its been 4 months now since we broke up. He lives in Hawaii and I'm in Florida. From time to time I would fly to Hawaii to be with him at a hotel for a few days and fly back and it took a strain on our relationship and my finance. I wanted for us to be fully committed and to share it with his family and mine and come out together but he refuse to do so since it will hurt his relationship with his three sons and he could not bear the thought of loosing them. We said are good-byes and I wish him the best. Though I still cry myself to sleep and I think of him everyday but now its time for me to move on.


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PozGayForPoz
Posted

I am currently in a long distance relationship. He lives in California, I live in Ohio. This has been an ongoing relationship for 12 years now. One day, I will move out there to be with him, when he is ready.


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MarkJB
Posted

I had a long distance relationship for a few months. It worked to a degree as we would talk every day but it was very difficult sometimes as when we got together, it felt like a holiday. When we eventually moved in together, it was a completely different story as the reality of not being on the honeymoon period sunk in. Eventually we parted, sadly but remained friends nevertheless. I wish you luck with moving on to the next chapter. It's hard but in time you will heal.


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phabiandan677
Posted

am new and i would love some one to be by my side to help me go through this i have never been in a relationship and am lonely now i need help.


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MarkJB
Posted

Hi there, sorry to hear you're not in a good space right now. Sometimes it can really make a difference to extend your physical social network to help find and connect with people that may be going through similar experiences. It does get better, believe me. Perhaps doing a Google search for support networks out in your local area might help, I've found a couple which I've put below to start off. Maybe other users based near you can help here. I wish you luck, love and peace.

http://www.glbtcolorado.org/home/socialsupport/
http://lgbtfriends.meetup.com/cities/us/co/denver/

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Andy102
Posted

Had another Long Distance Relationship, I met him on another online gay website actually he found me and made the effort by messaging me, I wasn't looking for him I guess he saw my comments I wrote on some of the topics in the forum and looked up my profile. Here is what he wrote to me or message me.

---- FROM samyhen Sep 16, 2014 at 8:18 AM
I’m Sam, am honest, sincere, caring, trust worthy, genuine, romantic and understanding. Am Single and am looking for my soul mate and my heart desire..Am new on this site,. I have once been cheated on and it really hurt my feelings......Am presently in United Kingdom , I don’t want you to measure the distance between us, all that matters is the good feelings of the heart.... Are you single? what do you seek for here?.....i like your profile and I have interest in you…..i don’t usually come online here so if you are interested contact me at my email address ******************


Hope to hear back from you soon

Sam


And this is what I wrote back to him.


From: andy102
To: samyhen
Subject: Re: Hello
Date: Sep 16, 2014 at 12:02 PM
ReplyReply allForwardTrashView ProfileSpamBlock Sender


Hi Sam and welcome to ********, thanks for visiting my profile. You sound like a sweet, caring, loving guy that you are and I'm so sorry you were cheated on. I just don't understand why would anyone cheat on you, your obviously cute form the looks on your profile and I'm sure you have alot to offer.

I had just got out of a long distance relationship, I was in Florida and he was in Hawaii and it took a toll on me physically and financially. I'll tell you more later and yes I am single. As for now I'm just dipping my foot on this site I'm new as well and I'm getting to know others if they would let me but I don't mind getting to know you a bit more and yes we may be far away but we can still chat on here.

I'm looking for that special someone, someone who can make me laugh, enjoys a good conversation, romantic, trusting, understanding and most of all BE HONEST also able to keep up with me.


After I replied to him, this is what he message me back,


Hello Andy

I’m happy you responded back to my email…… I really appreciate it.….. I should tell you how I feel in a good way, but I'm afraid of what you might say…I like you and I really want good communication, trust and commitment between us….…believe me from the very first time i saw your profile ,I developed feelings for you i hope you dont mind? , I hope you have better thought about this ? I’m honest, genuine, caring, sincere, romantic and trustworthy.

Am 31 years old..6.1 tall,brown hair and hazel eyes.. Have been single for a while now,never been married, no kid .Am a graduate as well …. I have my master’s degree in hotel management and tourism. I am the only child of my family. I am a Christian I do go to church every Sunday.

I lost my dad when I was young so i don’t really know much about him...i miss him… my mom is still alive,she is 67 year old… She is a nice woman, she wants the best for me…I go to the gym every morning to make my body fit.....i have a very simple mind, I hate argument.i hate people with lot of doubt.things happen in life which is sometime surprising. So i want some one that does not doubt. When I am in a relationship I always want to satisfy my man with everything, I am not the best but want to be the best for him… I have a good heart and I easily fall for the right one.…I want a partner I can share my life with, some one that is caring, some one that has it in mind to love again and forget the hurtful past, some one that can love me for who I am, someone I can be with till eternity. Someone that is ready to share everything with me, a giver. Some one that is ready to trust as well because without trust there is no relationship.Please never mind the way i write my English am originally from Israel and still have those tongue… WELL I GUESS I SHOULD STOP HERE... I HOPE TO HEAR BACK FROM YOU.....

TAKE CARE.


And I wrote back to him.

Hi Sam,

Its Andy from ***********, I'm sorry I didn't get to write to you soon enough its just that I'm trying to wrap my head around this. What I'm trying to say is, Why me? You could've had anyone in ************* or anyone could've had you if you wanted them and instead you choose me. Your obviously a very good looking man and could've been a model if you chose that route. All those things I said in my profile are true.

________________________________________________________________________

ABOUT ME
"I'm adventurous guy who loves to be outdoors whether hiking, camping, walking on the beach, long road trips. Love a candle light dinner, long hot wet kisses, cuddling, baking (cheesecake fanatic), cooking. I also love a good movie night with that someone special or laying out on a blanket under the stars on a cool warm nights in the nude with a cold beer or wine. Would love to travel the world with that someone special and meet interesting people, explore new places.

I always start out my day with a good workout and try to stay positive it keeps me motivated. Like to do some light reading if a book or topic catches my interest. I love surprises and I can be very romantic for that special someone by sending him flowers or something special or even a card with my personal written words cause to me writing something down with a pen or any writing instrument shows you care for that special someone. It may sound cliche but to me it shows I'm truly, deeply and madly in love with that very special person who is going to be with me for the rest of my life."

GUY'S I'M LOOKING FOR
I'm looking for someone who is honest, funny, cute (what I mean by cute if you can make me laugh and show me a good time other than sex although sex is not bad. You don't have to be good looking to catch my attention) laid back (no drama) don't have to be intelligent but can keep up with good conversation. I don't like lazy, slob guys (I'm a neat person, I like to keep my place clean, I'm not an OCD guy)

Also I'm looking for someone who can keep up with me, I start out my day early don't like to waste any minute of the day. I'm a very energetic guy and I need someone to keep up. If you want to know more ask me.

________________________________________________________________________

I kept your message in my sentbox when I replied back to you and I still haven't gotten any response back and I re-read your message again and I re-read it again, I guess I was still dumb struck by you wanting to know more about me and that you like my profile and finally notice that you rarely go on ************* and the only way to get a hold of you is through email.

Be honest Sam, was there anyone in ************* that you wanted to connect to other than me? What made you chose me? Was it my profile, my looks (I'm not a model looking type of a guy just so I make myself clear on that) or both?

Just to let you know, I just got out of a long distance relationship, him being in Hawaii and me in Florida inwhich I put that as my topic in the ********** forum. It pretty much took a toll on me physically, emotionally and financially. I know you've been cheated on, you did say that when you message me and I'm so sorry that has happen to you, like I said you are a very good looking and that you'll have no problem getting the right man of your dream.

Long distance relationship is not a matter to me but getting hurt again is something I get very emotionally drained and can take a while for me to get back out there. So I try to stay busy as I can and not to think about relationships until I'm ready to commit to one. As for right now I would like to get to know you and also get to know me and we'll go from there.

cleardot.gif






And from there on we hit it off, at least I thought we did. But unfortunately it did not workout. Though I miss him alot. The reason I broke it off is finance issue. He wanted me to send money so that he can get a passport to the US so that he could come and visit me. Its going to cost him 470 pounds in UK currency that's about $700+ in US dollars. At that time he does not have a job and currently living with a relative. I told him that my finance is currently on hold do to my last Long Distance Relationship and that for him to wait until I can find a place of our own that way he can stay with me possibly get married, if we're truly right for each other. He really, really wanted to see me but I just couldn't make it happen. I told him to be patient and I'll get everything situated on my end and then I'll send for him. Now hes asking me to help him pay for his internet. What do I do? Now I'm wondering is this a scam? Now I'm confuse? I want to believe him, I just don't know if I do? I hate the feeling of my heart being broken again.

I email him again and now I'm getting no response. Should I just let him go and move on. I have pictures of him and the messages he wrote to me made me fall inlove with him. Now I can't stop thinking of him and when I do I start to feel the pain again and the tears starts to roll down my face. I miss him. Honestly I think about him everyday enough to make me go crazy. Crazy In Love.

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William_Earl
Posted

I'm afraid you have been the victim of an all too common internet scam which probably originated from Nigeria or Ghana. The pictures are also probably not genuine and has been stolen from some innocent person's profile. The scammers operate on all the gay dating websites. Fortunately you didn't send any money. Indeed if a contact ever broaches the subject of money in a message it is likely to be a scam. I know, I was almost hooked by a similar contact. I received a message from someone purporting to be a Captain in the US Army serving in Afganistan. He sent me effusive emails about how he loved me so much even though we had never met. (This is a clue: if someone is over-the-top in their admiration for you without having made personal contact they are often trying to soften you up for a financial sting ) I live in Spain and my bogus Captain, who claimed to be from Indiana, said he planned to retire there when his tour of duty ended. OK, I said, maybe if you come to Barcelona some time we can meet up. Then I get a strange email in which says he's got some money he's saved for his retirement and would I mind keeping it in my bank account until he was ready. Alarm bells sounded. I immediately ceased contact. However, I then I received an angry email in broken English which did not accord with the emails he sent me. My suspicions were confirmed. I didn't respond and he disappeared from my life.

So yes, I understand your feelings. For a short while this guy stimulated my interest.and I felt such an idiot afterwards. Now I am more wary - and so should you be. The guy you say you love doesn't exist. Erase him from your mind. Move on. If you don't you will only torture yourself. And if he contacts you again for God's sake don't respond. It's over. Forget him.

No offence, but to fall in love with someone on the basis of emails and photos is never a good idea. You need to meet the person and if they are evasive about this, ask for money, or it's impractical because of distance, forget it. Which is not to say all such liaisons fail. I recently met a guy I've been communicating with for some time by email and phone as he lives in the UK and was visiting Spain. He stayed overnight and we hit it off immediately. Even then, my mind is open, I may never see him again, though I liked him so much I will do my best to continue the relationship. If there's love, it'll come later I hope.

The best of luck in finding love. But please, don't be fooled.


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MarkJB
Posted

Thanks for your response William. Great response and full of advice, especially the last paragraph! Mark


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William_Earl
Posted

You're welcome. Here is another typical scam email I received recently. I didn't reply! ~~
Let me tell you more about my self My name is Kareem sadar a retired business man, I retired due to health reason. I was a business man who was involved in oil and gas and contracts, I retired after I was diagnosed with Idiopathic Pulmonary Fibrosis That was discovered very late due to my laxity in caring for my health.
It has defiled all form of medicine and right now, I have only about a few Months to live according to medical experts. I lost my only son on the 1st of June 2009 in the air France crash flight Af 447 from Rio de Janeiro Brazil. After this entire calamity and my terminal disease I began to view the world From another perspective my son was gay and he died in that crash with his Partner
I have not particularly lived my life so well, as I never really cared For anyone not even myself but my business. Though I am very rich, I was never generous, I was always hostile to people and only focus on my business As That was the only thing I cared for. But now I regret all this because
There is more to life than making all the money in the world. I believe if I have a second chance to come to this world I would live my life a different way from how I have lived it. Now that I know my time is near. I have willed and given most of my properties and assets to my immediate and extended family Members and as well as a few close friends
I have decided to give alms to charity organizations, as I want this to be one of the Last good deeds I do on earth. So far, I have distributed money to some Charity organizations. Now that my health has deteriorated so Badly, I cannot do this myself any more. I once asked members of my family to close one of my accounts and donate the money, which I have there to charity Organization in Bulgaria, they refused and kept the money to themselves. Hence, I do not trust them anymore, as they seem not to be contended with what I have left for them. The last of my money which is the huge cash that I deposit in a bank, if you have the time and mean you can start One such charity organization with this fund if you cannot just distribute to Charity or for research. This is a sum of EUR8, 000.000.00 (Eight million Euros)
I am writing this from my laptop computer in my hospital bed in where I wait for my time to come. If you are interested to help me I will give you more information about it. Note that you will take 20% out of the funds and use 80% for charity .
I pray that God uses you to support and assist me with good heart God be with You.


























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