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Help Please... - The Rainbow Lounge

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I am contempleting about coming out but everytime i get ready to say something about it i get really nervous I was wondering if any of you guys can help me so that I can tell my friedns and family and stop living a double life and so that it is easier to tell them. Thanks


i would come out to your friends first then your family. tell your friends that you have something to tell them. when you have their full attention then take a deep breath then tell them that you are gay. if they are true friends, they will stick behind you. if they are not true friends then they will walk away. when you come out to your family, have some one who will support you when confronting your family members. more then likely, your family will not understand but will love you for whom you are and will support you when you need the support. i hope this helps you out Josh


One of three ways I could suggest. Set a date and make a kind of appointment with whomever you want to tell, then when you show up to tell them, they’re already expecting to be told something’s up and you can't avoid it- that’s what I did. OR if you have someone close that does know, have them go with you to tell them and when you start a run for it they'll force you to spit it out OR just write everyone and tell them. Chances are everyone already knows and are just waiting on you to come out, and it’s more than likely that because you’ve spent years stressing yourself sick about it, you’ve horribleized ( I know it’s not a word ) it and made it way bigger than it will really be....just my experience. Best of luck


If you feel uncomfortable telling it to a group of friends: start with the one you feel most at ease with and tell him first. If he reacts positively, you can ask him or her to give you some support when you tell other friends.

As to family: if you have brothers or sisters it can be easier to talk with them before you tell your parents..

If nerves keep getting in the way there are simpe relaxation techniques like breathing exercises.


I think the last suggestions are very wise.
any best idea depends on the kind of friends you have, as well as your family of course, and the kind of relations you have with each person.

I did it when I was 18 yo. I talked to my father. not dramatically, but clearly and as something I was very sure about. the first moments he has been surprised, but soon it became clear for him that was my choice. and he loved me anyway.

congratulations for the decision! go on...


How I did it was I randomly brought up in a conversation w my friends that I Thot a girl was cute. They already knew for the most part cuz it was kind of obvious. I blurted it out 2 my mom b/c I was extremely depressed, and I came out to my dad cuz he asked me if i was. I guess it just depends on u. Ull always get nervous coming out, but how u know when you're ready is when u no longer give a flying fuck what their reaction is. But that's just my opinion


Thankyou all of you I will use these amazing suggestions you have given me . Thankyou very much .


Also know that coming out is a process that you will have to repeat over and over. Take your time and start out slow. For me I had gotten divorced and lost many of my friends in the process, when I came out they were happy that I was finally being true to me. My parents were told in a certified letter (probably not the best idea) and the rest of the family found out through a statement I released on National Coming Out Day on fb.

When telling people it helps to give them an out by saying that you understand that they may choose not to support you, but it would be helpful for them not to make negative comments to you. You can't force people to jump right on board so give them the chance to process it and get back to you if needed. Also tell them that this is your news to share, so you would appreciate the time it takes to tell those that you choose.

And you have a community of support on here to back you up. There is even a coming out group on here if you would like to know more send me a PM.



Thanks Tonia


Josh, You have received a lot of good suggestions. I would like to add that you should not feel ashamed of who you are. Believe in yourself. Those who love you will in time come around.


Sun., June 10th, 12, 17:30 Hrs. M.D.T.
Hi Group,
When I Came "OUT", I Didn't Tell My Family. I Told a Few Friends I Knew 1st.
When it Came to Family I Told My Older Sister FIRST because We Were Close,
But Never Came Out to My Parents as Such. For the Most Part, I'm Open With My Older Sister/Brother, but the Rest I Never Told Told and I Don't Talk About It..
Just the Way Things Happened. No to Families are the Same so for Each One
Its Entirely Different.
Me - I Live in Western Canada - Rest of Family Lives in the East - What's Left of Them so I live My Own Life as a Gay Person in the West. In the East They Live Their Own Lives so I Really Don't Know What They Do or How They Live Their Lives. Guess Its the Way Things Happen etc.