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Jason_Hanna

abstaining from sex - Gay Guys! <3

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Jason_Hanna
Posted

recently I have decided to stop having sex until im in a committed relationship...
what I didn't realize is how hard it actually is, before when I would get bored or was procrastinating bout something sex was a good distraction (actually a bad one). but now im trying to kick the addiction so to speak and ideas ?

would love to hear from people in similar situations


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Andrew_Jamrozik_60761
Posted

I m 2'5 months with out SEX


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Posted

And why have you decided to abstain from sex?


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Jason_Hanna
Posted

because I feel like something going to happen that cant be fixed, iv cause syphilis in the past and that scared me bad enough now when ever I have sex its great during sex but after I feel like im doomed for some reason


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Posted

That happened to me. I was in risk of having an STD and i got so scared i couldnt have sex after lige 2 years later.

Dont be afraid, wear protection always and just have fun. Its ok to have sex, and lots of it. Just dont whore around. Youll be fine


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David_Kirkpatrick_61460
Posted

Whatever you do to secure or further your happiness, don't let fear make your decisions. Sex can be the physical expression of love, and you don't want to cheat yourself out of that. It's not easy finding the right person to share your life with. but once you do, everything else takes care of itself. And if you really want that someone, then nothing will be right, until you have him in your life.


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sumyngcum
Posted

hey...ur having a problem...what about my situation...married 4o yrs....closeted.... started having sex in jan..in Florida....came back home....started again...bringing guys to my home while the wife is at work....i am paranoid i am going to get caught...i have
been trying to abstain...got about 4 days in and started all over again....addictions are addictions....we need help....!! i know it...but i dont want to....i enjoy the sex....that i missed for 40 yrs.....good luck son!


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Dave_Mack
Posted

Jason, my suggestion if I may offer one is take time to really know the person. 6 months is NOT a long wait. If he is Mr Right then BOTH of you should go together to be tested for HIV and other communicable diseases to be sure you are both OK and then still practice SAFE sex.


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Jules_Parker
Posted

I was like Dave but it was always away from home, One thing that comes out of Jason's dilemma is he should tell the partner he's about to have sex with his STD condition.

When I became free to date guys I met a guy one day who meant a lot to me, we had had sex many times but always wore protection, we wanted to start a meaning full relationship and be able to trust each other enough to have sex without protection, it meant getting tested... although I normally used protection the thought of all those times I had been hot and never used a condom came back to haunt me, how many of my partners had anything they had not told me about... I can tell you waiting for the results was a very worrying time, not only what the results might be, but my future relationship with a guy a cared for a great deal depended upon it .

So I'll just say... enjoy your sex don't feel guilty unless there's something you have not told the other guy... and don't say it's ok I use a condom, as in two cases with me, one broke and the other came off and was left inside me full of sperm, if I had been unlucky it could have wrecked my life...


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Posted

It's a natural human urge. If it was meant to just procreate, it wouldn’t feel so nice. Just be healthy, always be clean and use protection against any eventualities, especially when doing one night stands. As for the guilt, there is really no need for it. The urge is natural. We all have it, but what’s important is in what kind of scenario you appease yourself. Relax and enjoy :-)

As for the cheater, I hope your wife doesn’t turn into Mrs Bobbit when she finds out ;-)


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Jason_Hanna
Posted

makes alot of sense what everyone's saying except for 2 things, im not infected any more but the idea still scares me and i haven't ever felt guilty about having sex...what i feel afterwards is almost like paranoia for my own health and safety


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Posted

I had similar but it wasn't the fear of a disease but fear that I'm just going to be used for sex so when I dated someone I would wait for about two or three weeks but my ex who was my boyfriend, somehow convinced me to have sex with him the first day of us dating. Then later found out he was like obsessed with sex. So its going to be tough.


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Dannynammer
Posted

The feeling associated with frustration knowing that the person won''t stick to you and you will have to seek again while realizing that in fact it was just using each others'' body eventually


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Jason_Hanna
Posted

all i want is to feel safe and healthy and not have to worry about stupid problems caused by what i want and not what i need

it stresses me out so much that my chest constantly feels tight and paranoia sets in like a timer


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Posted

Well it is not good to be paranoid about anything, but it is good to be smart and safe. And nothing wrong with keeping sex for a committed relationship...that is what I prefer to do to. It is not only about not getting std's for me, although that is a big part. It is also about respecting myself and the guy I"m going to be with. Sex without intimacy is pleasurable, but not really worth it or fullfilling.


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Kurt_Hanson
Posted

For me, not having sex feels better than the empty feeling of meaningless sex. I'm also afraid of STD's so unless there's at least the possibility of a relationship I'll entertain myself!


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Posted

Isn’t it interested, after the ‘self-entertainment’, how one feels relieved that one didn’t get all dressed and dollied up for someone one doesn’t even know with no way of knowing whether the sex would have been ok or not? A total feeling of relief not having wasted time :-)


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Jules_Parker
Posted

Sorry I disagree sex with someone is much better than anything one can do by themselves, and if it's with a love one it even more great, there is also the trill factor when it's someone new, one can get turned on just thinking about what might happen...


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Matt_Morales
Posted

well all i can say guys...
sex is best stress reliever...
and sex with thy self...is the 100 percent safe..
but yea not much enjoy when you have hot partner/patners


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Tommy_Storey
Posted

The only thing is, it can become Vary,vary,BORING.
when you do it by your self,but all of the time !!!!!!!!!!!!.
lol xxxx


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Tommy_Storey
Posted

We all of us,have been put on this Earth,
to share our Lives,to what that might
intail. And this includes our Sex Life
too !!!!!!!!!!. lol xxx


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David_Kirkpatrick_61460
Posted

That's beautiful, Tom. Sex is natural to us: we are sexual beings.


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Posted

We are also entailed to our privacy, and therefore my sex life is private.


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Tommy_Storey
Posted

@ Michael.
Yes it is vary,vary,good that we are
not all the same,or other wise, our World would
become such a boring place to live !!!!!!!!!.

But you can still share a Sex Life in Private too.

I know that is what i do any way.
And what ever goes on in a room then stay`s
in that room for Ever,!!!!!!!!!!!!.
( But i am still SHARING tho ! ).
LOL xxxxxxx


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Vincent_Portes
Posted

hello to everyone online right now >.


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