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Dear God; The Dream, The Talent, the War and the Love... The Letters of Jay Divi - Your WRITES

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Posted

30th May 2038
Dear God,
My name is Jay Divinity and I was born on the 25th of January 2020, I am eighteen years old. I am writing to you, dear God, because who else but you could ever understand myself or existence fully? Usually people communicate with you through faithfulness in prayer or from the words in the bible but when a teacher in college recently asked me to begin a religious life, I then thought writing to you faithfully in this way would be more understanding than hypocritically following religion when there is certain things my soul doesn't follow, because I believe you are the good spirit within my heart which speaks through my instincts in righteousness. I think it's better that our connection begins this way and even though I know you can't write back in the form this life can (as you are spirit), I still can tell that my voice is heard, because this feeling inside that we share is beyond human emotions; it is neither from fear or doubt but happening through love, loyalty, compassion and faith. The meaning of faith (to me) is not from following a specific religion or church but from spiritually knowing what is right and wrong, from realizing how to forgive and to see the good in people, because you see earthly things as a family of people through oneness in the image or form that stands out in the way you can be or transform it with the energy of light with grace and love that you hold and gave a piece of to your children or creatures that live on this planet, deep in their loving hearts. I know that if I ever spoke to anyone else about my beliefs, they'd probably mock or misunderstand me because I see things differently individually than those of big groups of people do. But, does that mean I'm wrong to see things like this; To see my life path and opinion on things in the way I do? Is it really wrong that I choose to not prove my faith in you to others, when really following you're voice that's clear inside me is much more divine and connected? Because I think it's great that I can feel you're presence very near, through all my joy and pain.
When I think back through all my life; seeing all the hate and madness this life presently contains, I still never gave up on the existence of your inner guidance with me, because you made me realize that those crazy things were wrong, which is why I believe in my inner-self's knowledge with following the truth my heart and spirit knows, from the path in life I'm walking on. I really do hope that by expressing myself in these ways through my writings, that you can become more aware on how my life's become and how much the Earth's changed ever since you first created it from your natural and yet magnificent energy which combines with nature and spirit together, to create life.
I would just like to add before ending this first letter to you, that my teacher in college who teaches philosophy gave me the best advice in understanding that you really do listen, and even though she meant it by prayer for the forgiveness of my "sins", I still know that you've listened to my young voice, because today I was feeling so empty inside from finishing college and even if I had passed all my examinations successfully I still don't know where I'm going to go from here. Which is why I'm grateful for her advice because now I feel fulfilled and complete with writing in this way, because I never ever dreamed of pouring my heart out to anyone, and I don't think I ever could with a human because their hearts and minds are constantly changing towards life, just as it were with their belief in you at times. But saying that proves that I will find people who will believe in me as much as they would in you as they'll come to see truth and peace in the end of their lifetimes. I am confident about making sensible choices for my highest good but there is so many influences (mostly bad ones who test me) outside who try to drag me along into their rebellion decisions, and I try to stay away but it isn't always easy for me because I try to gain respect in public by people in general. It might certainly seem foolish to you that I could think that way towards others who do wrong but try putting yourself in my shoes, when disapproving with the crowds is the hardest thing that any boy my age can do... I've got to run because the doorbell's ringing and Mum is out shopping, so I better stop for now.
Write soon,
Jay!



27th May 2036
Dear God,
Now that I have made you aware about how our friendship or connection suddenly came about from my first letter, I'd now like to tell you many things about myself. What I didn't explain yesterday, is that I just finished college from third level education recently and it was such a relief for me; all that studying really paid off well after all. I just hope that by now I can be qualified enough to get a job soon. Ireland, which is my country home, has changed so much over the past ten years, politically. At one point there was a high population of unemployed persons, and now things are slowly but surely progressing with many businesses and services. Ireland was once seemingly one of the world's biggest economic success stories, and then it became one of the recession's worst casualties. Over the past thirty years, a country long known for high unemployment, high taxes and high rates of emigration built itself into what by some measures was the fourth most effluent country in Europe. Shiny towers rose over dusty old Dublin, and politicians and business leaders alike boosted of the strength of the Celtic Tiger. Then came the bust and the bankrupting, deepened by what had been one of the world's biggest housing bubbles. This was the way things were, and it's sad to know that there was many citizens who actually wanted to work and didn't want to stay on the unemployment benefit. These days though, you've got to have complete qualifications to be lucky enough with getting any job at all, but that's the way things are and I've got empathy for the older people who didn't need an education back in their time of life to get a job but just needed to be physically fit or have the skills to be qualified. The reason I'm telling you all this is because I worry of remaining unemployed and I don't want that. I'd like to keep myself useful and motivated or even dedicated to something. I want to achieve something worth living for, and I want to experience all good new things too. These wants are important but only time will tell how things will really turn out. I also think you should know that I live in a small street in a bungalow with my mother Kate. I must add that I can't remember the last time I felt as if I achieved something when college ended for me. I felt pure good in myself when I was walking home on the beautiful day it was; with the sun shining and the breeze flowing through me blissfully. I couldn't wait to show my Mum the exam results, even though it wasn't completely perfect with full A's or anything, but I tried my best and put a lot of effort into my work and that's all my mother expected me to do. All my Mum wants is for me to be in good health and to get a decent enough job in town nearby. I also think you should know a bit about my interests, hobbies and my circumstances of living but I should warn you, it isn't that very interesting; just typical of an outcast (that I am) I guess. I have a passion for music; I'd listen to anything that's popular or uplifting but my favourite are love songs, and I don't know why really. I guess I just love the comfort of the words in a pure song. Every day after a stressful day from college for example, I would spend some peaceful time alone in my bedroom, listening to my stereo as I rest, and believe me it really does help me feel much better, on the inside. I like to dance too, but I never did it before in public because I would get embarrassed and would probably look insane if I danced around the streets. I just like to dance when I'm alone or overcome by greatness by the music of love. Singing is something I'll forever do, in public or not. Nothing's more lovely and expressive than to know that you're voice is heard, either through songs or words. I'm a big movie lover, especially of the drama and romantic ones, and I don't know why, maybe it's because I'm just a romantic freak and perhaps it isn't the best thing to be like with where live at the moment. Growing up was always difficult for me to be my true self. My social life was very low and I was constantly bullied by boys in secondary school because I hung out more with the girls, and that's probably obvious that I'm different to their impressions from around their friends. It wasn't so much physical bullying I went through but it was more like verbal and homophobic abuse. I was always the sensitive one in class and I'd take things to heart personally, even if the person trying to get bad attention didn't realize it. Sometimes people don't think of how much they say can harm or damage another human being when their selfishly not thinking right for themselves and the opponent their against for a specific or no specific reason at all. But to be frank, I must admit that nothing's liable to change around here just yet, as most young people my age are very weak minded in the sense where they choose to rebel and get involved with influences as such. I don't know if I'm any better or worse to say that about them, but I do know how to make my own decisions without worry of judgment from others. Anyways, those memories are in the past now and I'd rather forget them, as I'd like to remember new ones to come in future. But saying that, means that I must live my life without planning it, so that the surprises and moments to come can be cherished by me, without taking anything for granted later. Despite the way I was treated back than at school, I still somehow care for those people who declared me a "faggot" or had disliked me from being different, but I really do forgive them and respect their opinions, even if it is hard for them to understand me. Understanding anyone fully can be the hardest thing to do, but trying to put myself in other people's positions or life situations are even better and more understandable that just saying it to be kind. If I'm being honest, I think that there must be a reason as to why people bring out their more negative sides in public. I don't know why that is, but maybe their damaged or hurt by some source that makes them put their frustration out into bad actions. I guess I'm just lucky to have found my own choice of mind, which I think is the reason why I ignore these influences and sometimes try helping those who would be more willing to listen to my support and care for them. I enjoy reading and writing mostly in my free time. I like to read fantasy and adventures novels, as it helps me escape this place at times. I have a very vivid imagination so please bare in mind that through most of these letters to come later on, I will describe the image of my thoughts and feelings into detail so that you can learn more from my subconscious mind or dreams. Oh God, it gives me such pleasure to share my life views in this way, and it shall remain our secret only, as no one else could really take your place, at least not entirely as you could with the ability of your complete understanding.
Before I go, I've some exciting news to tell you! You've known for some time now that I've a great interest in performing through either song or dance, and I've got this wonderful opportunity to audition and attend a drama club for students to act and perform on stage theatrically. This audition will be tomorrow, so I hope you don't mind if I practise my dancing skills in my bedroom for a while. Bye for now...Jay!


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David_Cloud
Posted

Thank you so much, Jay, for sharing your letters to God with us. As with your previous writings I very much admire your honesty and sincerity of expression and find these letters very touching and poignant. I understand a lot of what you are saying and share some of your feelings. Thanx again, David.


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