Jump to content

some random ones - Poetry Group

Recommended Posts


So I haven't posted in a while.... but I had to write a few for class so I'll share them : ]
So this is one that I had to write that rhymes, and i totally hate it because i usually only do free style, but here it is:

You leave me breathless,
cool green eyes like early morning dew,
your body emanates true beauty that leaves me restless;
golden strands hair illuminates the eyes of those around you,

my every thought captivated by you,
I struggle to stay focused, I must confess,
you are my everything, without you I would unglue.

You are the only one I am true to;
you love captivates me and leaves me helpless,
I am moved, these eyes of cobalt blue
have but one goal: to share the same address.

the second one is more like my work. It's a little darker, but it's about the battle with myself. Like my depression is its own person, and who I am physically and what my depression makes me are two different people that consistently struggle with each other. One side always loses that battle.

Screams tear holes in these walls
leaving us hidden in our rooms,
trying not to get hit by one of their
missals. We sit there cowering
under our beds until the war is over.
She cries for help, begging us to come
forth and help her fight this monster.
We don’t budge, we know it is for the
best that they fight this out alone.
The screams go silent leading us to
believe that it is safe to leave our shelter.
Our room is war torn from the fighting
that has gone on within us. Pills lay
strewn on the floor and our body
lay paralyzed beside them. Our monster
has won this war. We lay beside our
motionless body, waiting for the littlest
sign of life, but it is too late. I am dead.


I don't mind that it's darker. There is a dark side to the light (Disney movies) or at least what some Americans/Christians consider the light side of things. Usually a lack of depth but sometimes more then that. The person who smiles too much is just as much to be feared as the person who smiles too little. More actually because they hide how they feel. Could go on, but I'm too tired to climb on top of my soapbox right now. That's probably a good thing believe me.

Hmmm all that aside, I like it pretty well. Keep it up. I agree with you about rhyming by the way if you ever have to rhyme again you could consider using slight rhymes? I wonder what the actual point to this assignment was, rhyming was very much a primary school thing once I learned how annoying it was myself.

salut, look forward to reading more


I meant to say slant rhymes ; )

  • Create New...