Jump to content

Can Someone's Sexuality Change? - The Rainbow Lounge

Recommended Posts


I know someone who mostly had experiences with men, but he did have a few with women. However, his experiences with women mostly didn't go well and one was downright humiliating. So, he met a guy....they were in a relationship for years...and he went through the whole coming out thing and decided he was gay. Then one day he admitted that he was having serious fantasies about being with a woman again. His partner, obviously, was like, "WTF?" I tried to tell the partner that it was likely that his other half had more self-confidence after being in a relationship and he was less sexually inhibited so he was probably curious to see what things would be like with a woman since he'd matured. Was I right or wrong about this? Does it seem like curiosity about an itch he never got to properly scratch or is it possible that he is truly bisexual and only thought he was gay because he was in love with a man? Is there really a clear answer here?


I would say what you told him is absolutely correct. I think you're right that he is bisexual and was just afraid of having sex with women.


Hi Tony,in my experience,that is what i wanted to do,i got hurt very badly by women in my life a few times,as you say about your friend one of mine was humiliating,i thought you were telling my story,apart from having a male,partner,coming out,,maybe the guy got very hurt,has taken a very longtime to get over it,and has decided to try a relationship with another woman,,,In my experience,,i could of very easily done the same thing,,i know i am Bi,and always will be,,if i do meet a gay guy i like i have to be honest and tell him,that i do not think i would fall in love with him,although it did happen some years ago,i look back now and thankgod the gay guy said no,he must of seen what would happen,,I know some gay guy's and girl's hate bi people,because of this,,It is unfortunate this has happened,,it really does feck with my head and heart when this happens to me,,as i do not want to break either sex's heart,,sorry i have gone on so long Tony,i hope this is of some help,,


Tim, Maybe it's me...but isn't it a bit late to come to that decision when you're living with a gay man you've been with for years?


No problem John, your perspective is interesting. Are you saying you can't fall in love with anyone because you'll always want a person of the gender that you're not with?


No,Tony,i have lived with women,loved them,,i did live with a guy,sharing a house,but it was not love,,it was more of a phyical thing,,but never,,lived,fallen in love with a guy,,apart from the once,,he didnot want me,haha,mind you he did look like Brad Pitt,,i am happy when with a woman,but in recent years have been honest with them saying i am Bi,if i see a guy i fancy,if he feels the same way,we will have some fun together,,the last couple of women i have been with liked the idea,,one wanted to watch us,,


Not to insult anyone,,i know a few guys,if they cannot get a woman,they will go to a guy for relief,it is more to do with sucking and fucking a guy,and leaving it,if you never see him again it does not matter,,There's guys i know,that have been married,lost everything to the wife,,,kids,house,everything,even the family pet,,the y are afraid to go near a woman again,they turn to men for comfort,,but that will not last,,not with all of them,,they do go back to a woman,,i am open to myself now,to partners,i had a longterm relationship with a woman,8yrs,have kids,i was straight with her always,but was true to her,she was the one that had the affairs,well she was into 3sums,,anyway i better shut up,i would keep chatting for hours,,but ask away Tony,or anyone,thanks


Throwing in my thoughts...

Growing up I never knew that it was okay to act on my feelings toward women, so I did what was expected of me and dated and married a man. I never felt like myself, but found out during the marriage that being with a woman was okay. I was now stuck in a loveless marriage and had to stay there until I was given a divorce 11 years after we married.

During the marriage and just after I was personally attacked by 3 men...this in NO WAY made me turn to women...it was the fact that I didn't feel complete when I was with a man.

After the divorce I was free to safely experiment with women and finally discovered that I was in fact a lesbian.

It is perfectly fine to try on different labels and safely experiment for as long as you need to.


I have nothing to add or change regading your advice for this particular individual but may I say it was profoundly astute of you, well done!!


Thank you Sarah. I try to give good advice and it's always nice to hear someone say so. THANKS!