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Ryan_Siriwardene

no hope for this catholic - Gay Guys! <3

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Ryan_Siriwardene
Posted

my friend raised this discussion in her facebook that she goes on dates and she doesnt find that connection. She couldnt be bother hunting on the sites anymore and making contact.

It got me thinking about me and my relationship status. I am 28 and still single. I have never been in a relationship. Had sex twice but hard to determine whether I am top or bottom when guys ask, I am not even sure myself.

I have literally achieve everything I need to do in this life except own a property but I think that will come in time. I live life and dont mope around thinking about what I dont have anymore.

I think I am cynical. People say what do you want in life as I say to them and I say I want a boyfriend. I am afraid to wish for it as soon i meet a guy my head goes into overdrive and i cant stop it.

I dont want to settle for anyone but I feel I shouldnt be picky as I dont have options to choose from. I am not sitting here waiting for a relationship to fall into my life. I am staying active by making contact and not giving up hope. I am thinking something must be wrong with me. As guys show interest but if I dont swing their way, it goes cold. Last Tuesday I went on a date with a guy which showed potential but he said very superficial things to me like he does not balding men. I cant help that and luckily I didnt take any offence to it even though i should have.

I go to church every weekend and i love it more than ever. I am also thinking if you love God you cant be in a relationship. I know its nonsense but I cant help think it could be true.

Slowly all my dreams are turning to dust which were getting married and having children.

Am I doing something wrong?


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Posted

You are doing nothing wrong at all. I honestly dont know what to say.


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Tommy_Storey
Posted

No,i don`t think that you are doing a single thing Wrong. You are just not ready for your next step in you life. Please don`t worry about this,because,you
will just know when it is time for you to move to the next stage of your Life. lol.


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Posted

ryan, last time i heard you were in australia, and you do realise that it may not be you but your church that is at fault. The policy that the catholic faith is following is one of biased religion, just as much as islamic religion , is also biased against the LGBT community.
As for getting married and having children thats easy, just go out and get a woman, a real one, not a trans or girlie guy, and tell her you want her to teach you all about straight sex, and when she ends up plum duff, then get married, get house, and 2.4 children, and then you will find life is over, and even baldness will disappear as a problem.
But i do agree with your friend, that online dating is a waste of time, and online is full of timewasters, better go out and enjoy oneself, and if you trip over someone, mabey thats the person for you.


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Posted

look we can't be afraid of making mistakes because in doing so is already a mistake right there...you aren't doing anything wrong...and i've learned to separate my love life from religion because they don't really mix...you can't be thinking God is looking down on you...i'm catholic too...and God's message is simple...be good, work together, and love others...pretty simple...or so i see it...so those things don't really apply to anything when it comes to my love life...i also sometimes feel that i'm too picky...but well i say there's nothing wrong with knowing what you want...but at the same time we gotta be realistic with our standards...now for some people online dating works...but well i'm old fashioned...(even tho i'm not really old at all...lol...i'm only 24 going to be 25 in 3 weeks yay...anywho...)...but i like to meet guys that i usually see around...but there's nothing wrong with trying out someone who you meet online...but it's not for me...coming from personal experience that...i would meet guys that didn't have profile pics and one that had pics that were from sometime ago...this was on myspace by the way...and by the time i met them...they were much older than i would've thought...now thank God that they were nice people and not sexual predators...cuz 2 of them looked scary...that's why i always took the precaution to meet them in very public places...anywho that's why i choose not meet anymore people online...anywho i'm so getting off topic...i'm sorry i tend to do that a lot sometimes...anywho...so there will always be hope as long as you hold on to it...so keep your head up and keep trying...you'll find the right guy when the time is right...good things come to those who wait...and well as they always say good things are worth waiting for...


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Heebie999
Posted

At 28 you're still just a "young pup"
I'm 44, still single, and haven't had a truly significant relationship. I haven't even dated anyone in 17 years now.. which isn't really by choice.
I know I'm someone who could never "settle" for someone that I just didn't get on with well enough to make something work.. so I have friends, and every once in a while I go out & get laid.
I've come to a point where if I meet someone whom I think is compatible, I definitely pursue a relationship with him.. which always seems to end up being a friendship, sometimes a really good one.
I hope I'll meet someone who's wonderful, but I certainly don't plan my life around it.
Perhaps you should just try meeting people.. and stop trying to meet people "to date" and see what happens?


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Posted

well said Todd...i personally believe in letting things happen when it comes to guys...it's shouldn't really be considered a top priority...or a necessity...things sometimes have a way of working out...


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Timothy_Brown
Posted

Ryan, I think you are truly beautiful! If I were not in a relationship, lived closer and were younger, I would want to be in a relationship with you. I have had sex many times and just recently decided that I am versatile. Don't worry about not being able to decide. It's not important yet!

I agree with Allan on the Catholic Church not being terribly accepting of LGBT people...you have to make your own decisions about that!


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Posted

let's remember that the church consists of the people...not only of the priests and the Pope...and well you have people who support both sides...so you can't really say that the church isn't accepting of the LGBT community...because that would mean that everyone in the Catholic community thinks and feels the same...which is not the case...and let's not forget that some of us are also Catholics and we belong to the Catholic community...so it would be saying that we're not accepting our fellow LGBT community...if we said that the church doesn't like the LGBT community...


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Timothy_Brown
Posted

Of course, I realize that there are different views of many individuals within the Catholic Church. The problem I see is that the Church leadership, ie the Pope and high-up Bishops officially condemn homosexuality and still even the use of birth control. I really condemn the verdicts of the former Pope on the use of condoms to be tragic in that it caused the needles deaths of thousands of followers and their sexuall partners.


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Timothy_Brown
Posted

I just typed a very long response and it disappeared. I'll write it again tomorrow. Sorry!


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Posted

it happens to me when i take super long to type what i'm thinking...and then i'm automatically logged out from Gays.com...and on top of that i forget to copy it...


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Timothy_Brown
Posted

Actually, the piece that appeared before I complained was the one that got lost... Everything is ok.


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Michael_Wolfe
Posted

Don't worry Tim...I was doing a blog tropic and it took so long like Jony said it just log me off..Boy was I mad that day..


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Posted

yea...it irritates me...but well now i try not to forget that if i'm taking too long...better copy it before i get any surprises...


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Timothy_Brown
Posted

One can epwrite it elsewhere like a notepad or Microsoft Word and then copy and paste...


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Ryan_Siriwardene
Posted

hey all

Thanks for your responses.

I am doing my best to try and not make this a priority in my life but i cant help when I retreat to bed at night and i am alone. My family and CLOSE friends are near but it does not feel the same.

I thought after finishing uni I might be successful in just dating a guy or some guy show some interest. I hardly get this at all. As I discuss with a guy who I met on this site, I sometimes wonder if guys look at the colour of my skin and immediately turn away.

In regards to my beliefs, I no longer hide that I am gay and Catholic and although I do not parade myself stating this as I think it is unnecessary.

I just dont understand how in life one person can go from relationship to relationship with such ease and here I am I love what I have achieved, love my job yet it does not appeal any gay guy. i hung with my good friend and ex work colleague she understands what I go through.

I mean come on. Are we that superficial?

Thank you Tim I appreciate the sentiment. Todd there is no way I am going out for casual sex again. It is addictive practice that almost sucked me in. I am trying not to be judgmental but I think I need to raise my standards I get guys who say you are beautiful wanna come over (either online or text message). What happen to going out on a date and talking!!!!!

One thing I truly hate is when people say to me dont worry you will find someone soon. Unfortunately I did when i least suspected it and got hurt badly!

So hard to stop feeling sorry for myself.



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Posted

Ryan,
I wouldn't worry to much about what the church thinks. If Doctrine is true I'm going to hell, but bro it was was worth it. One of my first b/f was in the seminary. Theres got to be at least one sin there. He's a sweet man and happily married now. I go to church on Christmas and Easter if I'm not working. We haven't seen each other in years. I'm glad he's happy .
>going out for casual sex again. It is addictive practice that almost sucked me in. I am trying not to be judgmental but I think I need to raise my standards
casual sex is never the answer. I always end up waiting for the phone call and life must go on. If I decide to go to the bar I always leave alone Not being whiny ,just the way it is. One night I actually said out loud(can you believe it?) "There is no one here worth my time". Conceited no? But true.
Oops wondered slightly off topic.
>I sometimes wonder if guys look at the colour of my skin and immediately turn away.
If they do they have no idea what they a passing by.
I get the same thing "You'll find someone". The last someone was a drunken beater. alone might be destiny. OOPs no pity party. We learn from every situation we are placed in.


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Posted

well that was interesting, no doubt most think by now i am anti-catholic, well your wrong, there are other churches that support the papal view, and even if the didnt stand against the gay community, sorry guys, i blame them for the atrocities they commited in poland with the nsdap party in ww2, and the murder of arab freedom fighters in libya, prior to ww2, and all other campaigns they were involved in.
Until that faith changes,with me there is no forgiveness, just as i will never forgive the wee free's churches atitude to me, end of story.
Ryan, you have to put aside your faith, put it in a box, and post it somewhere, and get on and enjoy this life, never mind waiting, get out there have lots of fun, because the day will come, and sooner than you think, where you will end up alone, and biding your time until you die.
Let the other catholics do that, their good at that.
You, want your rewards now, not in the next life, so go and have fun now, as for the hair problem, get a wig if need be, but go and enjoy life, it need not be all about sex, thats just a part of life anyway, and dont be put off, persist and enjoy, fuck everything on 2 legs, 1leg, and even no legs.
The same goes for you don, and jony too.


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Posted

I myself am a Practicing Catholic, and i will be 2 the day i die. At this very moment i am just back from having full Intercourse with my young man. I dont see anything wrong with it. I pray 2 a Loving God and i know that what i am doing is Fine, u talk about Hell, well just look at the World we live in. I am Irish and i was Brought up in the Trouble's in Northern Ireland, we were Thought 2 Hate Prodasant's, Today it's Diffrent i love all People and what ever Religion they choose 2 Beleive in, Even Agnostic's are fine with me. You Are Not Condemmed For Having Same Sex Relation's. I even Love Allan , and he's Prodasant.


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Heebie999
Posted

Anyone who is gay, and a practising Catholic, really need to examine his thinking.
I gave up being a Catholic in favour of being a Christian a long time ago. The church is an evil organisation, and I hope to see it's utter elimination within my lifetime. The Protestant church is really no better. There is *NO* organised church that actually teaches the teaching of Jesus Christ.

Thing is.. that if *YOU* don't see an issue with making love to your BF, but the church tells you that you're going to burn in hell for it.. then the church doesn't reflect YOUR values. You should be a member of a church that DOES reflect your values, or a member of no Church at all. Nowhere is it said that you can't have a relationship with God, simply because you're not a member of a church.

You're also not really a "practising Catholic" since you "violate" some of the things that the Catholic church deems to be important. Why do you continue to give your tithing to an organisation that literally HATES you, and considers your love to be "an abomination" ?? It makes no logical sense whatsoever.

My relationship with the Holy Roman Catholic Church, and it's goose-stepping Nazi a$$hole Pope, are long over. My relationship with God will be with me until long *after* the day I die. I will never support an organisation that officially hates me, nor will I support their efforts to spread that hate by giving them money that I've worked hard to earn. I am much more comfortable in my relationship with God now than I ever was when I was a Catholic! You should think about giving it a try! The Catholic Church surely doesn't have the only direct-line to God.. we ALL do. (and besides..that whole praying to saints nonsense is Idolotry.. violation of the FIRST commandment...which is the ONLY commandment that Jesus ever repeated.)


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Posted

in religious terms the only church that i have faith in is the Iona Community, and it supports same-sex marriage, and the gay community, the church of St Columba.
Richard thats quite a statement, and its quite a complement you have paid me, saying you Love me, you have my undying gratitude and affection for that.
Thanks very much. xxxxxxxxxx allan xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx


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Posted

Todd it doesn't really what religion we are and if we violate one rule or not...we are what we are...not everything is perfect...i support the church on everything except anti-gay issues...and i think that in order to conquer that hate we need to show them the opposite...neither the church nor the religion is our enemy...but the people...and the only way we can fight back or so i think is for us to be learn what they teach and practice it ourselves...if the church is supposed to be about love and understanding...then let's do that...if they're unwilling to do that just because we're gay...then let's show them that gay people can do what they won't do...and show them that hey we're members of your church and we get the true message...again this is what i think...because if we feel and think the same as they do...well we're no better than they are...Allan...i've been there and done that with casual sex...and as you say there's nothing wrong with that...but i'm sure there comes a time when some of us are just done with that phase of sleeping around...and for those who continue to do so...it's not a bad thing...that's what you're into and that's what you want...(so long as it's not someone cheating on their "significant" other)...but well yea i've watched some romantic movies and felt that emptiness...but well i'm very optimistic...and i know there is a guy waiting for me...and i'm waiting for him...hell he could be looking for me right now...but i'm just not ready to find him...but whenever i'm ready...i'll meet him and know it was meant to be...so you shouldn't hate it when people tell you that you'll find someone soon Ryan..cuz maybe you will...maybe you won't...that all depends on you...if you soon start believing that it's hopeless and that you'll never find someone...then you're giving up on finding him...sometimes it's all about our strong will to believe in something...just keep believing and i'm sure you'll be in for a surprise...


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Timothy_Brown
Posted

Richard, I loved what you wrote... I still have to read the other comments.


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Timothy_Brown
Posted

Todd, I completely agree with everything that you wrote. It is so true!


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