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Jony_Star

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Posted

ok...i was chatting w/my cousin from mexico yesterday...and she tells me that she's planning to get married to a guy who she's only known for 5 months...now not only does she have to think about herself...but also her 3 children...now she says her kids like the guy...but i don't think you can really know someone very well in 5 months...the rest of her family is against the marriage...but she's really happy...i congratulated her...but well deep inside i'm worried...what do you guys think???


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Posted

Hope she's making the right decision, guess it's what's in her heart, good lick to her, hope he's a good man, to her and her kids.


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Joe_MacPhail
Posted

I agree it is taking a chance to marry someone you just know 5 months and having children makes it even more serious. Maybe you should google his name and see if there s anything on him or try to find out where he is from and see if you can get any information about his past from someone that might know him. But if she has made up her mind there is not much you can do. I wish her luck as he could be the knight in shining armor.


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Posted

well i don't know the guy's name...unfortunately...she left when i asked her to describe him in detail...you what he's like and all...and that's when she told me she had to go...my mother said it's not the 1st time that's happened...my mom has chatted w/her as well...and it just so happens that when she asked about the guy...she also had to leave for a while...her theory is that she must be hiding something...and i don't know...maybe she is...maybe she isn't...i can't really tell...but hopefully i get to chat w/her again soon...


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Posted

jony if you google and do find dirt, how are you going to deal with that, you tell her the wrong way, she will blame you, and thought you were spying on her, in time she would come round, but in the meantime you would be the bad guy.
And if you find out he is okay, then why were you spying on her anyway?
Whichever way, your the bad guy.
You have to let her trust her own judgement, and make there own mistakes in life, just as your family has to let you make them as well, no-one is perfect, but be there when it all goes south, and be understanding and show compassion.
All the best my friend.


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Posted

i don't think spying is the right word...but either way i wouldn't see myself being a bad guy...because this is my family we're talking about...my cousin, niece, and nephews...you're gonna tell me that if something like this happened you could just sit there waiting for something bad to happen???...when children are involved i wouldn't take this step so lightly...and that's the most important reason why i'm worried...if i find dirt on the guy...i don't know how i'm gonna be able to tell her...but i can only hope she'll understand...of course no one is perfect...but again...when your children are involved...you need to be really cautious about who you're going to bring into their lives...making sure that your happiness doesn't affect them in a bad way...otherwise that's being really selfish...and end up facing much harder consequences...she could label me as the bad guy all she wants...but the truth will be there...and it will hurt her...but it would be better to be hurt now...rather than later...and this assuming i find any dirt on the guy...but if he's an ok guy...i still wouldn't feel bad...because as i said this is my family we're talking about...and i really care about protecting my family no matter what...so i'm sorry but i can't take your sit back and relax advice allan...that's just not me...


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Dave_Mack
Posted

There was a song in the 1960's by Percy Sledge (remember WHEN A MAN LOVES A WOMAN) called Take Time To Know Her.. In this case change the pronown to HIM. I would recommend that you advise her to WAIT and get to know him a lot better. Since she has kids I assume she was marrird before and it didn't work out. Remind her there in no harm in waiting. Remind her its also good for her kids. In the meantime get info on the guy.He may be a super nice guy, stable with a decent job. Waiting will only make their love stronger so if it is to be it will be successful,
Hope this advice helps.


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Posted

your comment is fine with me , jony its only advice, at the end of the day its your choice, and i would probaly do the same, but then i go where angels and devils fear to tread


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Posted

There are so many unknowns here.
What about the kids father?is he happy with it ?does he know?
You could just go down and see your sister and meet this guy face to face.
It not easy giving advise when you dont know the full story,take my situation for example.I meet and married my wife in 18 months,not a bad lenght of time you might say,but then for 10 months of that i was at sea,Royal Navy,and when I was here i only saw her at weekends or on leave.We have been married 30 years this year.My friends up the road got married after a month its 33 years for them.
So it can work out.The main thing is you stand by your sister and let her know you are there no matter what.
Good luck my friend hope it all works out for youand the family


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Posted

ok...well the kids' father is a mentally incapable of taking care of the children...i mean he would have his new lady "friend" dance on him...and he would show off his gun and shoot it...so needless to that he's crazy and has no say in the matter...and this is my cousin i'm talking about not my sister...and i would meet this guy face to face...if i had the money to go down to mexico...but unfortunately i do not...but i will always be there for her...no matter what...i can only hope that this guy is good for her...and her kids...and does nothing to harm anyone...


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Posted

I thinks it is fine if it is true love and they both love each other.I got married after 3 months and we are still married after 11 years and I have no complaints


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Posted

that's great Peter...and like you say if it is true love then i guess it's ok...but well to me it seems such a short time...and well i don't know how long you should be in a relationship before getting married...but well i know it would take me more than 3 or 5 months...i guess that's my choice tho...not everyone is the same...but well it's good to know that some people don't have to wait that long to find their true love...


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Michael_Wolfe
Posted

I knew when we talk all night long and we didn't even mention sex..We have been together for 24 yrs now...


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