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Tach_Chew_We

ER Stories - JUST FOR FUN

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Tach_Chew_We
Posted

OK a friend sent me these to post of shes a nurse i dont know if there true or not but thay are funny



- An unconscious 36-year old male was brought to the ER with cocaine induced
seizures. As a nurse pulled back his foreskin to insert a catheter (a tube
passed through the urethra and into the bladder) a neatly folded twenty dollar
bill fell out of the foreskin fold. When the man woke up and demanded to
leave, the nurse gave him back his belongings and told him where she had found
the money. His response: "It was a fifty, bitch!"

- An elderly woman came into the ER complaining: "I got the green vines in my
virginny" (Interesting). A pelvic exam verifies that she did, indeed, have a
six inch vine growing out of her vagina. Further inspection revealed that she
had a mass in her vaginal vault. It was easily removed and looked very much
like a potato. It was, indeed, a potato. The patient said that her uterus was
falling out and that she "put a potato in there to hold it up" and then forgot
about it.

- The most nonemergent ER visit: A male adolescent came in at 2 a.m. with a
complaint of belly button lint.

- A young female came to the ER with lower abdominal pain. During the exam and
questioning the female denied being sexually active. The doctor gave her a
pregnancy test anyway and it came back positive. The doctor went back to the
young female's room.

Doctor: "The results of your pregnancy test came back positive. Are you sure
you're not sexually active?"
Patient: "Sexually active? No, sir, I just lay there."
Doctor: "I see. Well, do you know who the father is?"
Patient: "No. Who?"

- A 92-year old woman had a full cardiac arrest at home and was rushed to the
hospital. After about thirty minutes of unsuccessful resuscitation attempts
the old lady was pronounced dead. The doctor went to tell the lady's 78-year
old daughter that her mother didn't make it.

"Didn't make it? Where could they be? She left in the ambulance forty-five
minutes ago!"

- A 19-year old female was asked why she was in the ER. She said that she and
her boyfriend were having sex and the condom came off and she wasn't able to
retrieve it with her fingers. I went to the bathroom and gagged" myself to
vomit but couldn't vomit it up either."


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Michael_Wolfe
Posted

LMAO oh Tach that was a good one...You made me laugh and I needed it ...


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