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Jony_Star

Stepping Over Boundaries... - Gay Guys! <3

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ok well i think i've shared this experience with you guys before...but i'll update you on the latest things that have happened...ok well i think i've told you about going clubbing with my friends and Nyque and Andre two yrs ago in august...and well we were dancing...and apparently i had too much to drink...and was trying to make out with my friend Andre...unfortunately Andre already had a bf...i'll take you guys back a little bit...Andre and i were once were flirting with each other but didn't openly admit it to each other...and well for the sake of our friendship i didn't want to get involved with him...i pretty much got rid of all my ex except for one...maybe Andre could've been the 2nd exception for me...but i don't know if the same would've apply for me...and i didn't wanna take that risk...so we never gave ourselves a shot...anywho back to the clubbing...so at 1st he resisted...and then the once chance that our friend Nyque left us alone...i had Andre pinned against the wall and we both started makin out...but then the alcohol spell had faded away...and we stopped...i felt really bad...things had resurfaced...and well i talked to Andre about it...and we both confessed that we had feelings for each other...and well we had agreed to not tell his bf cuz that was supposed to be a one time incident...which it wasn't...so anywho...the 2nd time was last yr for my b-day bash at the club...and i questioned him...and told him that the alcohol was no longer an excuse cuz we knew that this could've happened again...and i did have my guard up...but then slowly started letting it down...i asked him what he felt for me...he said it's complicated...i told him to just forget it...and warned him it couldn't happen again...which yea that didn't work out so well...but we'll get to that in a bit...so during the time that we took a break...i sorted myself out...and pretty much dismissed any feelings for him...because i had already lost my friend Zamira...i wasn't gonna lose another...so the 3rd time well...it wasn't planned...but well i needed answered...so i was pretty much making out and questioning him while he was drunk...sometimes they say that when we're drunk the truth comes out...and i gotta say i believe it...anywho...he had drank more than me...so i was more in control of myself than he was...he stuck with his previous answer when i asked him what he felt for me...but he kept repeating that he can't leave his bf...i asked him if he can't or he won't...he asked what was the difference...and of course saying you can't means you want to but you can't bring yourself to do it...and won't is because you're pretty sure that you love him...he still chose can't...but knowing that he's scared to reveal his true feelings...i tested him and did the one thing that would push him away...i told him that i love him...which obviously i didn't...he didn't believe it at 1st...but eventually he did as what i expected him to do...but he was nice enough to tell me that he confessed about our last 2 times to his bf David...which would pretty much explain why he doesn't respond to me on facebook...and i'm kinda sure that he told him about the 3rd time...now i have to say that boy must be a saint to be able to forgive him...but for me that would never happen...anywho so Andre apologized and said it would never happen again whether we were taken or single, drunk or sober...we finally agreed to never step over our friendship boundary again...but as another one of my "instincts" and well more like my ideals of love...Andre is missing something...and him and David aren't meant to be...i can only hope that they prove me wrong...but well Andre is a mysterious person who i can't seem to read as easily as i've done with others...he has more walls than the usual person...he's more like a labyrinth...but a labyrinth that's always shifting...i can only hope that one day Andre will lead us toward the real Andre and let us in...but yep that's my experience...not really proud of it...but well it's part of my past now...nothing we can do to change it...but at least it serves as a lesson to not make the same mistake...i bet this story was a bit long...i feel like i'm typing my life story on here...lol...tho if it was my life story it would super long...anywho...well feel free to write your comments...


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elSac08
Posted

Jony, you have to know that you're in dangerous territory - but, you've already done what you've done and he's essentially given you his answer. Take it at that and allow both of you to move on. I'm sure that's not what you'd like to hear, but leave it - the result can only mean heartache for everyone!!!!!!!
LOL - and this time I mean, "lots of luck!"


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Posted

oh no Ellis...there's nothing to worry about...this whole situation is over from my part...i'm not holding on to any feelings or anything for him...i can't very much speak for him...but i think he's beginning to get on the same boat...he's not meant for me...i know that...we're meant to have a very strong relationship as friends...and that's what we're gonna be...only friends...


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Homer_Bozarth
Posted

Babo, your playing with fire. he loves you and you are falling for him. you know you are so dont deny it. just stand back and let him come to reality. do not push any thing or you will lose him. one of these days he will realize that he loves you more and he will break up with the other guy but for now just let things ride like they are babo. just remember i will always love my Babo


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Posted

no you guys listen to me...really this situation is over...we hung out again after our 3rd encounter...nothing happened...it's safe to say he's really trying to bury his feelings for me...and me i buried them a while ago...they came back...but i put them aside where they belong away from my heart...and i feel great to have my friend back...it'll take a while for me to earn back the respect from his bf...or i may never get it back at all...who knows???...but i'm glad we're moving forward...this for me ended up as just another obstacle to overcome...may not have handled it the right way...but i think the end result is what truly matters sometimes...and i can honestly say that i've reached the other side...so don't worry so much Homer...it's over...you won't have to worry until i actually start dating which will still be a while...although my brother's gf is still insisting that i hang out w/her brother...trying to hook us up and all...but i don't know...i mean i may be psyching myself out...but i don't think i wanna do the whole 2 siblings going out with 2 siblings...her with my brother and her brother with me...nothing weird about it...but just feels strange...i have two aunts who married two brothers...kinda cute...but i just don't know why i think my situation wouldn't be cute...i mean i've seen her brother on facebook...he's not bad-looking...don't know him personality-wise...but yea i'm just not ready to start looking for a relationship yet...i've told her that...but she keeps bringing up her brother every now and then...i'm beginning to wonder if her brother is the one that's insisting???...either way i don't see it happening...you can think i'm closing my options but i'm really not...call it another one of my "instincts"...lol...


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David_Cloud
Posted

Jony, that's a really heartening story - and beautifully told if I may say so!

I think the sweetest thing that you say after you have taken us through all that happened is in the 5th line of the bit you wrote just above this message when you say.....'and I feel great to have my friend back'....that is such a happy ending. No bad feelings either way (except temporarily from the b/f perhaps...but I'm sure he'll get over it)...just a positive and happy ending. Well done m8!


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Homer_Bozarth
Posted

i hear you Babo, i worry about you baby


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Posted

thank you David...i think so too...and well Homer don't worry...i'm doing good...don't worry be happy...lol...i'm feeling better and working towards being happy..so be happy with me...


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Homer_Bozarth
Posted

do not make me come down there and make you mine Babo, you be careful baby


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Posted

haha...silly Homer...i'm always careful...so don't worry and be happy...


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Homer_Bozarth
Posted

i am happy to be with you baby


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Posted

aww you're so sweet Homer...


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Homer_Bozarth
Posted

aww thanks babo


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