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Kyle_Oyler

The True Power of Love: - Gay Guys! <3

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Posted

I now know the true importance of what love is, and the true immortal feeling behind it. However, it's just a comprehending of the meaning, not the actual emotion behind it which is something that I ever so badly want to experience in my life.



1st Corinthians 13: 4-8, Paul explains what love should really be for everyone of us: “Love is patient, love is kind. It does NOT envy, it does NOT boast, it is NOT proud. It is NOT rude, it is NOT self-seeking, it is NOT easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does NOT delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It ALWAYS protects, ALWAYS trusts, ALWAYS hopes, ALWAYS perseveres. Love NEVER fails But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away.”



In 1st Corinthians 13: 4-8, Paul is talking about UNCONDITIONAL love. The very type of love that you and I should bestow upon each-other, instead of hating each-other, instead of being jealous, instead of being boastful, and rude.



However, there are some who mistakenly misunderstand the difference between UNCONDITIONAL and CONDITIONAL love. A friend of mine once said that, “People don't want to understand the difference between CONDITIONAL and UNCONDITIONAL love.”



Continuing what he said, “They don't want to understand the difference between the two because they haven't had the true experience of what unconditional love is.” I couldn't agree to that ever so much, and to top it off, he's absolutely right.



Personally, I believe the ONLY reason why it is that nobody wants to grasp the true understanding of what unconditional love, is because they're afraid, afraid of the paralyzing essence that unconditional love can bring.



And that's a ridiculous thing to be afraid of... even just by a taste or a glimpse of what love really is – is empowering, gratifying! I can't bare the thought of what TRUE – UNCONDITIONAL love would be like, and I can't help but to be excited about it! Am I wrong to feel that way?



Nonetheless, at the rate that the world is going, I seriously and very hardly doubt that the world will EVER get a taste or EVEN a glimpse of what unconditional love is. But I believe that those who do want to comprehend what it's to truly love someone, like me, will be able to show the world how.



That's IF the world does want to comprehend what love really is, but if you honestly and truly think about it, even for a brief second – who doesn't want to comprehend the true power and immortal, breathe taking feeling of love? Of intimacy? That feeling of oneness with your lover? I do!



More-over, I still yet need to grow, mature, and grasp even more, of what love is really about. It's a beautiful thing to sit and let waste away, to abuse, to mess with, to disrespect, to let die and wither.

My question is, though – Is and will anyone let it continue to grow? Or are they letting it die? Wither?



It's hard to say... and that's coming from me. This is who I really am, a lover, not a fighter, but I'll fight for what I love and believe in! Who is with me on this epic battle to win love back in their life?

Or is this just a false hope, diminishing before my very eyes? I can only ponder...


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Posted

I will ask you a question as an answer. You find yourself an ideal b/f and you are madly in love with him. You live together and then you find out he is two timing you. Will you forgive him and like just carry on? If you find out that he still two times you and with a lot of other guys will you just shut your eyes and carry on?

That is unconditional love and I don't honestly know if any mere human could do it. Paul was talking about the Love of God I think and that is not something humans can do.

I wish I could but I don't think I could


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Posted

Eh... I believe that Paul was talking in both ways, unconditional love for God AND each other.

However..........................................................


The two timing boyfriend? WIth or without unconditional love? If he's two timing me, I and I don't care if it was a one time accident while drunk, he aint gettin me back.

For one? He should've known his limit and stopped there, and for two - it's still a responsibility that needs to be taken care of, wether sober or not, even if illegel drugs are involved.

Nonetheless (don't get a head on me)!!!!

IF my partner has hard core evidence that he wasn't two timing me, then and only then would it be excused. Nothing more.... I don't take too kindly to two timers.

But! If it was a sexual group act, then that's totally different. NOT SAYING THAT I WOULD, just hyperthetically speaking.


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Posted

i also believe that unconditional love was meant for both God and each other...but sadly we're far from it...and i don't think we'll ever experience such a thing...but it doesn't hurt to carry the idea around...because maybe someday...someday it will become a reality...but until that day...it will remain as an idea, a fantasy, a dream, an illusion and nothing more...but well it never hurts to dream...if anything we might only catch a glimpse of it...if we're lucky...but to get the whole experience...it's not possible anytime soon...


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Posted

So you wouldn't even try for unconditional love with a two timing b/f then Kyle?

I'm not sure I could either but like Jony says it just shows have humans not ever likely to do unconditional love. I guess the nearest is maybe how parents love kids. They might not like their kids but the always love them.


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David_Cloud
Posted

Can I offer a development of this discussion along the following line of thought - interested to know what you guys think.

When I did a course in human development I learnt that it is very important to deal separately with (1) the person and (2) the actions they may have done. This principle can be applied in cases like Dean mentions - with parents and children - or in cases of adult interpersonal relationships .

What I learnt was that it is quite appropriate to condemn an ACTION that someone has taken if that has been hurtful or destructive etc but we should try not to condemn the PERSON because this is very undermining, negative and destructive, e.g. a parent should NEVER tell a child that he/she is 'wicked' for having done something naughty but should rather say that the child has done a very 'wicked act'.

By not knocking the person (child or adult) to the floor you maintain the ability to talk with them and seek to explain why their action has been so damaging or hurtful to you in the hope that they will learn from what you have said. I believe that you can then say 'I can never forgive your action and I hope you will never do it again'. This allows the person who has done the bad thing to 'repent' for what they have done because they now understand how bad or offensive it was and hopefully will have learnt by this incident and won't do it again.

In the same way I believe that you could seriously condemn the action of your b/f for two-timing you without undermining his very sense of being by saying that he was utterly condemned as a person. Maybe in this way you can maintain the unconditional love of the person whilst at the same time condemning one of their actions.

I am a continuous optimist in life and would hate to not be able to have faith that unconditional love is acheivable. For me it is the belief that it is an achievable goal that makes me keep trying to pursue and achieve it. I couldn't bear not to feel that was a worthwhile aim - but that's me and I know and ackowledge we are all different and that's what makes life so interesting and rewarding.


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Posted

Dean..
Unconditional love doesn't mean that you have to allow yourself to conyinue to be made a fool of...I hope that your not being treated like that,,,...I know I would never do that ..especially to a young fella as yourself. !!


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i understand what you're saying David...but it doesn't change the fact that he that he cheated...of course i'll listen to his reason...but at the end of the day...face the consequence of that mistake...to me a relationship consists of 2 people...i'm not saying other types of relationships such as 3-way and all that business is wrong...i just prefer a monogamous relationship...anywho...but my idea of being with my true love is that neither of us want anyone else, need anyone else...so of course if my bf is cheating on me...there's something that he's looking for that i'm not giving him...and if that's the case...he can look for someone else...call me selfish or self-centered...but i want a guy who only wants me and no one else...that to me is someone who was meant for me...and i for him...if i feel the same way about him...but there are people who can overlook such things...my friend's bf being one...i made out with my friend 3 times...and he told his bf...and apparently he's still w/my friend...but can honestly say that i'm pretty sure he hates my guts...well it's between hating my guts or not having any respect for me...and i can deal with that because i did something wrong...but well i'll get into details in another conversation...i'll post it up in a bit...i don't wanna get too much off topic...


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Posted

hmmmmmmm...


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Posted

unconditional love, i would find that the hardest thing to do, as Dean said if your bf did two time you and you get through that then it happened again, i just couldnt forgive. if you truely love someone why would you be looking for more and if you wanted more then you would look at your bf wouldnt you?
Everyone has there own thoughts on unconditional love but i couldnt if it happened more than one, we can all make mistakes but not over and over again...


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Posted

Great discussion here, and thanks Kyle for starting it up. I love that passage from Paul's epistle to the Corinthians

I think, on the subject of faithfulness, it's more an issue of trust. If my boyfriend was to come in one day and tell me honestly and straight away that he had been with another guy, I could forgive that. I might not like it, and there would be certain consequences, like if they'd done full-on anal sex, then we'd be back to safe sex only for 6 months! (I only relax my use of condoms once I've been in a monogamous relationship for 6 months or more.) What would really make it difficult for me to forgive is if he hid it from me, and I had to find out from someone else. I can accept, understand and forgive most things except being lied to.

John, I think you may be generalising a bit. I (and possibly many other more mature guys, but I don't want to risk generalising myself!) end up mostly in relationships with guys significantly younger than me. I can accept that, however much they might love me, their sex-drive is often somewhat higher than mine, and it would be cruel of me to try to insist that a lad of twenty-something supresses his natural urges to the level of a 51 year old! In other words, whether true love incorporates total faithfulness depends entirely on the nature of each individual relationship. Some couples' sex-drives are entirely in sync, and others aren't, regardless of their love for each other, and if one partner is suffering frustration because of the other's inability to "keep up", then the very love they have for each other dictates that they must at least discuss the possiblity of extra-relationship sex. Note: I don't say the younger one should just hit the scene & get rampant! I'm just saying that there should be dicussion about the possibility of some "openness" in the relationship. That, in my view, can only strengthen a relationship by improving communication.


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i don't think i'm generalizing at all...i'm giving my opinion on how i would handle the matter...and sharing my way of thinking...again MY ideal of a relationship is that we need no one else but each other...if his sex drive is going out of control and i don't wanna having sex at all hours of the day...then that's just not gonna work for me...and he's more than welcome to leave the relationship and get with a person who can meet his needs...now of course if he'd be honest...sure a 2nd chance is ok...cuz as you say he wasn't hiding it...but even if he were to be honest a 2nd time...it wouldn't take a scientist to figure out that we don't have that chemistry anymore...i'm not into to the whole "open" relationshiip...again it may seem that i'm selfish or self-centered but my partner has to be in love with me and only me...my future plans are to get married and have kids...so my chances of getting with anyone are already slim...i don't really encounter many gay men who want children...but i can only hope to either find one or convince one to see the beauty of having children...anywho...again getting way off topic...but anywho yep...that's all i have to say for now...


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Carl-david_Stottor
Posted

Unconditional love is sometimes leraning about how to let go...the pain of love is not a broken heart, quite simply the heart expanding and growing, thing there is so much to love unconditionally.....a cheating partner is not one of those, that is their problem not yours, let it go with love and light, unconditional love, we can all feel betrayed, dis-respected, feel our ego torn, but that is all it is...Grow and learn from love.....an ex partner did not just cheat on me, he gave me a death sentance, knowing he had one too, I blame myself more, for not protecting myself, I cannot help loving unconditionally, why should I hate, something I once loved? Anything I have ever loved, because I don't! We all have our own pain, our baggage, but unconditional love, is all we search for, is the only thing that inspires us, our soul........find your soul, find yourself, love yourself and others equally, without condition, because love has no condition!


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