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Siany_Silc

I know this is not a poem, but I would like to know what you all think of it. - Poetry Group

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Siany_Silc
Posted

You’ve been so close before to getting rid of Coralline, using Karl. Too close for comfort. Far, far too close. To us all you where innocent, but now we see you for what you really are. Bring on to us all your pain, anger, jealousy and greed, always thinking of yourself and never of others. You have chose this path and placed it before yourself, thinking we will forgive all you have done and will be there, stood by you once again, not realising the path you have chosen not one of us can follow. Close your eyes and pray is the only message I, and any of us can give you Kari, I am so, so sorry you have been taken over by the dark of things.


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Posted

there are sometimes, when this what you wrote is like a poem, without being in lines. It's all one paragraph I mean, and there's nothing wrong with that. This showed you anger and hurt. I thought it was very good


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Naz_Sajawal
Posted

I used to write alot years ago but I seem to have struggled putting pen to paper for a long while now.....

Wrote this tonight, let me know what you think...?

You sit, you stare
You look, you glare
At the tubes I wear
Without a care

My skin is bruised
My strength is used
This wounds too deep
My heart wont keep

My brain is told
The heart's gone cold
This life of mine
I now decline

Now let me go
In time you'll know
You did no wrong
This soul was gone


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Posted

I think it a great poem.
I know what you mean, I have struggled to put pen to paper it seems these day I am only inspired when I am feeling at a loss
Your poem to me is a beautiful representation of a transtitional phase, its a feeling of being outside yourself and sense of numbness.
I can so relate to your poem, thankyou for sharing


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Siany_Silc
Posted

I love that poem it's something I can relate to better than most of the stuff I write. I seem to write something, and than look back on it wondering what I was going on about and what was going through my head.


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Naz_Sajawal
Posted

Penny - Thankyou :-) Yes it kind of started off with a view of being on the outside looking in, but then drifted into a double meaning I guess? I write alot of dark stuff when I reminis on my past but generally the poems are emotionally connected. Hopefully Ive inspired you to pick that penback up....... Whatya say chick?

Siany - Dont worry i also have a lot of those too? Sometimes they are just words and dont neccessarily make sense Im glad you liked and could relate to it though :-)

P.S.- In punjabi "Siany" translates as "Clever One" just thought id share that :-)


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Siany_Silc
Posted

cool well as long as it just ain't me on that one, and if only I was clever, I tend to be quiet stupid in the real world. Just have a lot of random moments which is when I write stuff like what I written above.


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Posted

Coz writing is the only way we can express our moments n our thoughts .. Though I missed out your work 3 months ago , that was really a nice one to show what you wanna share with us your moments .. I was late =/ lol ..


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