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Trevor_Flynn

My assessment for what it's worth. - Gay Guys! <3

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Trevor_Flynn
Posted

What was when I was a teen for gay guys, remains the same today. Gay men are clearly more interested in their next lay, then forming a relationship with someone that is based on the very foundation of humanity being the basic needs of life and happiness. I guess I have always been the "odd," gay guy because I have never engaged in an encounter based on primal sexual need that I wanted to remember when it over. I have always needed to know the one I am interested in having an encounter with, cared for me at least as a friend, I've had those "Fire Island," experiences in my early years and have hated everyone. As I read countless posts, I'm left shaking my head over what I read. I believe so much would improve in all areas of one's life if they would honestly evaluate themselves and try to put themselves into the position of seeing themselves as others see them. I believe there are three types of people; 1) One who "knows that they know." 2) One who "Knows they don't know," and 3) One who doesn't know they know." The first is one who can't grow mentally or emotionally because they blindly believe themselves to always be right and everyone else is wrong. The second is one who will grow because they are always open and honest with themselves and thus will grow mentally and emotionally, and the third is one who is afraid to risk anything even though they do know, but sadly lack confidence in themselves and holds others' opinion of them to be more valid then the opinion they hold for themselves. I so enjoy my sexuality being an older man, then when I was young. Again, as I read these posts, I see myself years ago, and wish all of those out there struggling with the sexuality, their human interaction, and their well being could enjoy the insight I have come to know and understand, thus, greatly increased my quality of life. I urge all the young gay men to look to the older gay men to help them through their struggles so you can enjoy your life now, rather than years later.


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elSac08
Posted

I am so with you on this brother; thanx for taking the time to actually express your feelings and experiences in the hope that it just might help someone else. Happy New Year!!!!!!


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Timothy_Brown
Posted

I like your comments but some of us like me comment on things just for fun. I'm sure that sound slutty but I'm not really that way. I am in a committed relationship, just away from my love for 2 1/2 months and just enttertain myself by flirting very erotically. I love doing this!


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Timothy_Brown
Posted

Happy New Year to both of you!


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David_Cloud
Posted

I respect the views of Trevor and Ellis but don't believe it need be put out as the only way. Of course loving committed relationships - and the sex that is enjoyed within them - are fantastic and the cornerstone about feeling good about yourself, your partner and the world beyond. But exploring the world of relationships and sex is part of the discovery of self. There's nothing wrong with sex - far from it! - what needs to be handled carefully and respectfully is the attitudes that go with it.

Exploitive sex and relationships are destructive and guys must learn to recognize them and see how to avoid or get out of them. What is important is that if two guys are interested in some 'recreational' sex - for the shere pleasure of mutual satisfaction - they make sure that they are both in it on the same basis. Then fun can be had and sexual experience gained. Always respect the other guy and make sure he is respecting you. Only dipping our toes in the water teaches us to know when the temperature is just right - not too hot and not too cold!! We cannot learn everything at the feet of older guys. Life also involves experience as a learning tool. Go for it, enjoy it, and have your eyes wide open.


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Trevor_Flynn
Posted

Thank you David for your additional comments. In large part, I fully agree with you, however, I must be old fashioned, but even engaging in a sexual act with another individual to basically, "Get your rocks off," I believe cannot help but have a negative impact to one's sense of self-worth, and if nothing else, it takes what should be an act of mutual satisfaction and enjoyment based on desire to love and be loved or at least, be a step that leads to that being the desired end result. Again, thank you for your additional views.


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David_Cloud
Posted

Trevor, while your way may suit you, I believe everyone needs to find their own way. Others may agree with your way but I would say that a little more experimentation may yield benefits. The evil is not sex itself -which is a beautiful act - but exploitation. This is what guys getting started need to be aware of.


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Posted

It isn't gay young guys only, all young guys go for sex first and maybe a relationship l8r.

Also it isn't only older guys who can help, one of the best guys I got help from on here (and no sex at all!!) is 19, only 3 years older than me. "The young are not always right, but age does not hold the prerogative of wisdom"


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David_Cloud
Posted

I agree the quote at the end of your piece above. No age group - or any other type of group - has a monopoly over wisdom. Wisdom at it's best is a gift from someone willing to impart it and picked up by someone who is receptive and tuned in to receive it.

Wisdom can come from experience, observation and analysis of the world around us and is a fantastic tool for guiding us in our friendships, relationships and our human existence. I have learnt much from those younger or same age as me as well as from older.


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Kevin_E_Chan
Posted

Agreed. I couldn't have agreed more.


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Posted

I disagree with you saying that gay guys are more interested in their next lay than finding a relationship, I'm 19 and I always look for love in a relationship over sex, when I'm in a relationship it take several months until anything sexual engages!
I am sadly a natural flirt, I don't mean to but I do flirt with others but my mates know a flirt is one thing meaning it is another, they know when I'm serious and when I'm joking (Thank God)
Not all gay males are just looking for sex rather than a relationship, I for one would never have sex with someone unless we were in a relationship that has lasted over several months and there was love, care and affection from myself and my partner.


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Timothy_Brown
Posted

Good for you, Richard. I wish that I could say the same thing about myself...


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Posted

Richard is a very special guy and has helped loads on this site even when he had big probs himself.

I wish I could be as great and nice as he is. I do have to like a guy a lot B4 anything happens but I am 16 and doing my A levels and then want to go to Uni, so not yet ready for a LTR. I am careful about guys cos I got hurt when my Dad died and then when an older B/F died, and so easier not to get close to anybody and then you don't get hurt again. I guess that might make me like a dirty slut but actually I don't have much sex at all really cos of it, and that I'm not out either and don't want to get caught. That is a thing older guys never think about, unless they are married and then really they should not be doing gay sex with younger guys anyway.

Wish I could be like RIchard but instead I don't do anything until like it does get so bad I have to and then I know a place where guys go and I ride there, but it is like maybe two times a year only.


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