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Joseph_Williams

Why are there SO MANY fake profiles on gays.com??? - Gay Guys! <3

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Joseph_Williams
Posted

Is there some kind of mass issue with people being ashamed of who they are or is it just for the fun of pretending to be someone else?

I've never understood this and was hoping someone could shed some light as it's very obvious from language used when you're speaking to an older person pretending to be a young person and the more I speak to people on here the more evident it becomes that, more so than on any other site i've been on, it's rife on this website.

Isn't it illegal to imitate someone else? If so shouldn't this website do something about the worrying amount of faux profiles?

Share your wisdom on the topic people.... psychologists in the house?


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Posted

hey joseph,maybe its just me but i cant detect any fake profiles,i just talk to whoever and if they got something to say i go along with it and listen plus comment,but now uv mentioned it il watch out more closley..lol..and try and detect those fakes,thanks


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Lance_Jermey
Posted

joseph i agree some profiles are fake but i think some people have the wrong idea of what this site is, you only have to look when they dont fill out the profile blank on every thing it could be they are embrassed or not sure of what the site is because they havent taken the time to read .i for one do not care if ever one knows my age .maybe there should be mandatory fields to fill in otherwise you cant join. but you will never be able to fully police any web site.


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Joseph_Williams
Posted

Even if fields are mandatory that doesn't prevent people from inputting incorrect data.

There's no solution to the problem but on a social networking website such as this where the primary objective is meeting people, i think if personas are discovered they should be easy to remove.

JDW x


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WillEl
Posted

If not faking a profile, then probably will never have a chance.

We all say that don't judge a book by its cover, but without a nice cover to grab your attention, you won't even bother to read the book. The same applies to human, especially on those SNS. When I used a fake profile, I had lots of guys requesting friendship and talking to me, but when I use this real profile, they don't even bother to add me, they just simply ignored my request.

Sadly that's the humen nature, I mean if one really doesn't care about the other's appearance but what's inside, then why gay? There are women with great hearts, too, and seniors, asians (which is my race), bad looking, ect, all those inferior, or less desirable personals, why most aren't ok with them? Don't argue with me saying that this is not the case。 I'm pretty sure you have seen lots of these. It may sound harsh to many of you and I know I am totally politically incorrect, but you know I am speaking of the truth.

If someone you like find you not sexually attractive, having a real profile will give you nothing. While having a fake profile may show you the way to approach him, but unless you live in the movies, once you show the real you, game over! You will be screwed at the end anyways. And that's the motivation! If you don't have a good looking, having a real profile will give you nothing! On the other hand, having a fake profile gives you something during the process, but takes everything away (including your time) in the end. Well which one do you prefer?

I have a lot to say about this topic, why having a real profile, or having a fake profile, and issues with appearances, seniors, asians......but just too mcuh, so I'd better stop here.


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Joseph_Williams
Posted

Interesting points made but I still see no justification for using a fake profile....ultimately how is anyone ever going to be happy with you if you're not happy with yourself? Be proud and confident of who you are and what you have to give.... I develop crushes on the most bizarre people (really, my ex was a slight lunatic) because of confidence and pride of self..... it might just be me, and yes, obviously appearance does play a large part in relationships because you have to be attracted to the person you're with BUT if you don't give people the opportunity to get to know the real you, flaws and all, then how will you ever find someone at all?

I know i'm right on this one....I've hidden behind a few personas in my few years (always kept my face mind you) trying to find a way for people to as many people to want me, then I met someone brilliant and once I felt comfortable enough to tell him the truth, I lost him.... for ever..... because lies ruin everything....

So, tell me what's better, having something all the time that's built on lies or having something once in a blue moon that is perfect and good and honest with someone that likes you for exactly who you are?


All the best,

Joseph


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Posted

It's always best to build on truth! A lot of great points made in this conversation everyone but bottom line...people are lonely and probably not getting anywhere with their real pics and profiles..so they are desperate to meet anyone. Lets give everyone the benefit of the doubt and be kind. IM REAL AND HAPPY!..LOL..NOTHING FAKE HERE...let's be different from the rest of the world and accept everyone as they would like to be..the truth always comes out...xo


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Tach_Chew_We
Posted

lots of good points but hay if its fake report let gays .com take up the issue, as far as i know its not illeagle to have a fake profile but illealge to take someones identey or use a copy right photo and its like on lots of chat sites


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Dennis_Mix
Posted

I believe that if you hide behind a false ID you are shammed of what you are so it not the best place to be with false ID. I am very proud of what I am and I don't care who knows if they don't like me for what I am they don't like me so they can go to ____ I am me and I not going to change for any one. I believe that those who hide behind false ID are ashamed of who they are.I say use your real ID and people will soon come around to what is the real you.

Alfawolf


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Heebie999
Posted

Some of the "fake" profiles are probably people doing research to see if they should target advertising at members of gays.com, some others would be on here posting links to websites along with paragraphs like, "This is great.. I use it myself.. you should try it!"
There might also be people working for various governments on here trying to determine if the site gets used for clandestine communication between "parties of interest" to them and other things like that.
There are probably also plenty of people here who are homophobic bigots, because they don't want anyone to figure out they are gay (there is no worse homophobe than a deeply-closeted gay) those ones are generally trying to find someone they can connect with, and/or to see whom they should NOT associate with because being seen with a gay would make other people suspect them..
Like Tachuwe Lessard said above..just report it if it worries you. It's not worth wasting sleep over.


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Posted

I agree completely with you.


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Dennis_Mix
Posted

This is what I said and I think there are a lot of people afraid to show what they are if they share a computer with someone else.. I do believe that if there are ashamed of what are they need to take a look at themselves. It is a open world and we should be proud of what we are.

Alfawolf


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David_James_58660
Posted

I love your comment, well done mate and well said.


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Paul_Lanoue
Posted

when I meet someone in real life who lies to me it is pretty much an end to the freindship. in a role play on line it doesn't matter but for a friendship to develop the same applies.


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WillEl
Posted

I think a good relationship or a friendship also requires forgiveness. I tend to forgive rather than to end a friendship unless it is/becomes unforgivable. However, faking a profile isn't one of those unforgivable things.


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Paul_Lanoue
Posted

I understand your point will but honesty is a solid item. I am not talking about exageration or coloring the truth. I am talking about outright lies. If someone lies to you about the basics what about them is believable.


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WillEl
Posted

I won't consider a profile (in the case of fake pics) as basic or fundamental, but more like a intro or like the cover of a book. What's basic and fundamental is something inside, and you have to know that through conversations rather then their pictures.

For a example, parents lie to children about Santa or other fictional characters. The basic is not whether they exist or not, but the concept of love. Well, maybe this is not a good example.

I mean if the guy is good and honest to you on every aspect except he lied about his look, and if you truly a deep person, you should forgive and accept him. Otherwise, just admit that you are not ok with his look rather than looking for an excuse like "Oh, he used someone else's pictures, he lied about the basics". That can only mean you judge people based on their looks.


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WillEl
Posted

If someone used fake pictures, and then you get to know each other, and later you find that out and say: "oh, our friendship/relationship is based on lies" you are actually saying your friendship/relationship is based on those pictures, because he only lied about the pictures.


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WillEl
Posted

There are lots of reasons to faking a profile, but the biggest reason is that people aren't confident with their looks. When I was using a fake profile, I thought I was ugly (I still think tho) and no one would like me if I used my real pics. I mean If I'm good looking, of course I will post the real ones and in HD! But I am not! No one really wants to post fake pics, but have to, because of the lack of self-confident. And such confidence can only be built if the other guy is forgiving rather than criticizing during the process of knowing each other. If he doesn't have self-confidence, please help him, rather than criticizing, because that's not gonna help, and you may actually hurt a sensitive person.


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WillEl
Posted

lots of grammar and spelling mistakes, sorry, i didn't check.


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Paul_Lanoue
Posted

this discussion is way over done. There are plenty of web sites out there for people to pretend to be 23 year old jocks. I am not looking for a friendship with someone who is dishonest enough to lie to me. I am 52 not 22 and to say so is bull. I do not have a pic on here because for one I don't know how to post one and two I don't have one. But to post a fake one is also a lie. Also from what I have read of profiles many on this site need a doctor to treat their underweight issues. six foot five men who weight 150 pounds have serious medical issues. Finally my answer is pretend all you want just don't be insulted that I am not interested in building a freindship with you.


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Heebie999
Posted

This isn't an issue that's confined to gays.com, nor to internet dating sites etc..
One of my earliest experiences with this type of lying was when I was 19. I was pretty fresh out of the closet, and looking to meet other gay men.
I answered an personal ad from a newspaper, which said that a 27 year old was looking for friends & more.
He rang me, and admitted to me that he was "a little older than he had said in his ad."
I thought he meant like within a few years of the age in his ad, so maybe as old as his early 30's.
We decided to meet and go somewhere for dinner. When we met, it turned out that he was in his 60's. I was a bit bothered by the fact that he'd lied, but decided I still wanted to have dinner. Over dinner he asked me to go on holidays with him to Florida. I turned him down.

This type of lying seems to go on all the time, and all over the place.

I met a guy recently who's profile also said he was 27 (Maybe 27 is an important number & that's why people lie & use it?) and he turned out to be 42.. a lie of 25 years instead of the 45 years on the one above.

So.. it's unfortunately an issue that we all have to deal with, all the time.

It's simply NOT worth wasting your time and brainpower worrying about.. if it bothers you.. just avoid the fakers. They tend to be easy enough to spot.


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Posted

Agree, like 62 year olds saying they are 44...REALLY? Desperate lonely men who would be better off getting counseling and finding out who they are. Self awareness does not hurt you, it makes your life REAL. Not just gays lie because
of desperation or loneliness, all human beings dot it. It's part of the human experience so when you find someone lying ask them " why?". it may help them on their journey of self development and that's a good thing and you may have helped.


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Dennis_Mix
Posted

You will find that a lot of guys still have a problem coming out. I find that we are still having friends that in their family's don't like the fact that someone in their family are gay . This is why a lot of guys still hide. I can be very open but not all are like that. Take that in to account.

Alfawolf


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Tach_Chew_We
Posted

well if there afraid to come out than why post a pick of some model ot porn star why not a pic of a tree or a dog why the fake pic or say your 19 whan your realy 40 thats what i think most are talking about ,i find guys who arnt out and afraid to be out dont post pics thay dont post pics of outher people and sasy its them


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