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Jony_Star

Back To My Friend... - Gay Guys! <3

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Posted

well 1st of all Merry X-mas to everyone...i hope you're all spending it a great day and nite with your loved ones...well i talked my dream over w/my closest friend nyque...the one i had told you guys earlier about my friend coming back to our group and trying to apologize to me...and she says i might be overreacting by not willing to give her a 2nd chance...but it's the fact that she doesn't understand...i mean they were close...but not as close as me & her were...i could only assume because of culture...we're both mexican...so we have even more stuff in common...anywho she thinks i should just give it time and wait for things to work themselves out...but i don't believe it can be worked out...because there is nothing that needs to be worked out...she didn't want to be my friend anymore and that's fine...she can be alone if she wants to...but for me there's not coming back...i feel this was more personal for me than it is for the rest of my friends...and i don't know if i am overreacting...or am i just speaking because i'm still hurt about it....but i feel that this decision will still remain the same in the future...because it's something i'm set on...i may not know her reasons for pushing me away like that...but one thing i do know...is that i've always been there for her and i made it clear that i would always be there for her...and for her not to trust me for whatever her reason is...it's a bit disappointing...and disturbing to be honest...my life was pretty much an open book to her...and i figured she'd let me in...but guess i was wrong...and if i can't be that friend...then i don't think i was considered that much of a friend to begin with...so why go back to that???...i mean i respected her enough to have her secrets even from me...because there are things that we only want to keep to ourselves...it may not be a big deal...but we prefer it that way...but pretty much most of her life was kept to herself...i never really felt her open to me in any level...and again if you're not gonna treat me like a friend...why bother???...so i don't know...but i think i'm right in my decision...if she were to come back someday...i would accept her apology...but i couldn't and wouldn't accept her friendship...because that friendship died the day she pushed me away...and it can't and won't ever resurface...again it may seem i may be speaking out of the pain that i still feel from that day...but i'm really serious and standing firm on that decision...and even if she were to give me the most saddest story ever...i wouldn't take her back...because i felt i was unappreciated, and that i wasn't considered a friend...someone she could trust, someone she really liked...her brother as she once called me...to me it was all a lie...and i will never fall into something like that ever again...that much i can promise myself...


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Homer_Bozarth
Posted

merry christmas jony baby


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Timothy_Brown
Posted

I want to take this moment to wish you a Merry Christmas as well!


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Timothy_Brown
Posted

I also do not feel like your decision was wrong. I am the type of person who really always wishes for all conflicts to be worked out. I have recently started to realize that this is not always possible. You cannot force all people to think like you do. I also now believe that some people are just not good for me because their attitude is too negative. If they are not good for me, I need to shed them as friends. I believe that you are right that your friend is no longer good for you because she has caused you grief and you should not accept her back. Go on with your life and stay happy!


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Tommy_Storey
Posted

You have a Good Christmas and a good 2012, Jody, lol.


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Posted

yony, have a merry xmas and some fun, as for your friend, she pushed you away because she had feelings for you, but your gay, and she probaly loves you, and she doesent want to end up hurt & bitter.
Keep her as a friend, but relationship wise at a distant point, but thats up to you,only you can decide the outcome on this one.


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Richard_Edwards
Posted

I wish I could hear what she has to say. Jony, you say she pushed you away because she didn't trust you. Maybe at that time she couldn't trust anybody. We don't know without more information.

Merry Christmas, may you be blessed this holiday season and many more.


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Posted

Well young man, we don't know each other and advice is easy to give but here goes...,whatever happened between you and your friend you take the high road and stay positive..don't shut your friend out because if she wants rekindle the friendship it will be easier to do that because you kept the door open. Never burn any bridges, you don't know what she is going through and if she was a good friend you want to be there for her if she needs you. I feel sorry for you because you seemed so dejected but this is the Holiday Season so cheer up! Wish you could see the snow falling outide here, it looks like a snow globe and everything is freshly covered with snow. I cannot imagine a green Christmas. Hope all your wishes come true.


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Posted

believe it or not Allan...i've heard that theory before...about her having feelings for me...one of my ex-boyfriends said she looked jealous one time we were cuddling and kissing...but i even mentioned it to her and she seemed to have had no reaction...she even said that it would never happen...because she saw me as a brother...and when i told my ex-boyfriend about this incident...that's the 1st thing that he said..."she has feelings for you...i've told you this before but you didn't want to believe me...but it's true..."...but even with everything that has happened...i still find it hard to believe...but then again...i've been in somewhat similar shoes...tho where she decided to push away...i decided to push those feelings away...now the guy i used to have an attraction for is now one of my best friends...and even more like a brother to me...we're there for each other...i get that what seemed easy for me isn't easy for other people...but it wasn't really easy for me either...but it's not impossible...and there's no reason she couldn't trust me...if she were to come forward with those feelings...i could've helped her get thru it...i would think...but well maybe it could've been harder than i could imagine...but well what's done is done...and well we'll see what the future holds for me...and my once best friend...


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Posted

well one thing i don't accept is generalization...you can't say us gays...as if all of were into 1-nite stands and all that other stuff...because i for one am not...i've been thru that stage and i'm done with it...and i'm sure there are others that are the same...believe me i've been thru 2 possessive relationships...1 guy wanted to control me...that didn't work out obviously...because nobody owns me...i own myself thank you very much...and the 2nd one couldn't trust me...and went to beat up my 2nd bf because he called him saying that him and I slept together...which we obviously didn't...so i dumped him too...i not gonna have anyone own me...i'm my own person...and i have my own friends...you either like em or you don't...but my ex-boyfriend never said i should terminate my friendship with her...he just told me to be careful or both of us could get hurt...and i guess he wasn't kidding...maybe i should've taken it more seriously...that could be my one mistake...


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Homer_Bozarth
Posted

i really dont like one night stands but i dont have to accept the generalization either. people give the gays a bd reputation because they are scared what the gay community is all about


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Posted

you're right about one thing...no one really wants to date on this site...my reason for not doing so it because i like to pick guys that i usually see around...i don't know...i just don't feel like i want to pick someone from the site...because i only came here to make friends...even if there was a cute guy in my area...if i haven't seen him around but i know he lives nearby...most chances still are that i'm not interested unless i see him for myself in one of my walks around the city...so...yea i get that...there are some of us who don't go thru the phase of just sleeping around...and of course i don't like it...we get hurt by our own decisions and that's life...yea...i'm sorry you feel that being gay just means 1 nite stands but that's not true for some of us...and i think that's exactly why people don't take the Gay community seriously...because everyone think it's just a phase or someone wants to have fun...we're more than that...


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Homer_Bozarth
Posted

iu agree with you babe


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Posted

I joined this site yesterday and have a hard time with some of the stuff I'm reading! Gays are like straight people when it comes to relationships. Some of us are committed, some of us are cheaters and some of us are sluts. There is no such thing as a stereotypical gay. So you be who u want to be Jony and forget the crap people are writing. My husband and I are happily married as are many of our friends. I do know people who like to sleep around but that's their choice and the way they like it and some are straight and some are gay. I agree if u want to find someone to fuck, there are a lot more appropriate sites than this one. I thought this was suppose to be about friends?


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Posted

i hope you all are, i have lots of friends on here, you are 1 of them, but i can take or leave sex, its not that important, prefer the fun of flirting on here.
But r/l friends that dont betray you , are differcult to find, and on here there is a lot of insecure guys.


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Posted

as for supporting the gay community, in real life i am in the fight for equal rights with the equality network.
there are lots on here who dont care.


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Posted

Luckily we live in Canada but going back to the states to visit my husbands family makes me nervous sometimes because if anything would happen like a car accident or something our marriage wouldn't be recognized. My husband fought in Iraq when he was only 19, he couldnt even drink but it was ok to die and he csme close a few times. I follow the fight in the states more than he does and I sure hope things get better for you guys. Seems to be getting better in some states. Wish there was something I could do to help out from here. I feel so blessed to be able to live life the way i want.


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Posted

yea i was about to say...it depends on the state your husband's family is in...cuz i know here in California...gay marriage is legal and recognized...so that much i'm happy with...but yea...i only come here for friends...i'm not saying that online relationships are fake and not worth and only end up in sex...cuz some of my friends met online and became a couple...some lasted others didn't...but that's how it goes...nothing is for certain...but well online dating and blind dates are not for me...cuz i like to choose the person once i see them in person...call me old-fashioned...lol...but sometimes i'm all about the old-school...you know...


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Posted

bernard on here we have an activism site, join it.
also go online www.allout.org its online petetion site, where they fight injustice in the gay world, also human rights commision, advocate, transadvocate, pinknews.
They are available through facebook, and twitter.
As for friends on here send an add to me homer & jony, and then we can send an recommended freinds list back to you, that will get you started.
Also take part in many discussions on here, its usually fun.
your so lucky, to have someone, and we are glad for you.
But you will find out after some time on here a lot of the guys add friends, like its a competetion to see who has the most.
Also if you hope to chat to all, you will have to be on here 20hrs a day, because of time differential. get only to sleep for 4hrs.
Have lots of fun anyhow.

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Posted

Thanks Allan, much appreciated! I was getting a little confused trying to navigate this site.


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Posted

well it wasnt easy jony, he is from south dakota and was still in the National Guards when we met online. We chatted almost every day for almost 3 months before we decided to meet half way in Minneapolis...Long distance relationships are not for everyone but we knew after we met in person we were gonna be together so after a few years of dating we got married and that was 3 years ago. He applied for landed immigrant status and 3 years later he can apply for citizenship which he plans to do so he will have dual citizenship. He got alot of grief from family and friends at first but everything's cool noe and we visit back and forth with his family. My 25 year old son had a bit of a problem with our age difference but that's resolved as well so it's all good


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Timothy_Brown
Posted

I agree with what Homer wrote!


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Timothy_Brown
Posted

I truly think that saying that all gays just want sex and 1-night stands seems to confirma stereotype that heterosexuals have about gays. I think that there are all kinds of gays. Some do fit the stereotype; others do not.


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Posted

Very true. That's not how I am, but people think I am simply because I'm Gay. Unfortunatelly, we will always have to deal with that.


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Posted

we don't have to deal with it...or accept it as a reality...because obviously stereotyping only has one purpose which is to alienate and assume the most stupidest things...as it was said before...we're simply people...like anyone else...


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