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Dark Place... (Part IIIII) The light? - Gay Guys! <3

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Had my first counselling session today...
We divulged into my past, really far back into my past, my evil dark past, we spoke about how I used to feel and compared it to how I feel now, she said she wanted to stop my past from coming back.
We spoke about most of my ex boyfriends, and also checked if I'm speaking to my mates and not bottling everything inside me.
She put me on a Depression test where she asked me questions and each answer gave me a score and it was to test how depressed I am, There was green which is not depressed, orange which was moderately depressed, and red which was severely depressed, I'm in the orange zone, she wants to get it down and stop it from going up, she's given me some things to do she wants me to treat myself with movies and junk food, and spend lots of time with my mates and go out and enjoy life which she said will stop the depression cause if I'm having fun then I'm not thinking about Ben and not depressing myself even more!
She said that I may not know who I am any more because I'm sub-consciously wanting to change to try and make Ben love me, she hopes that when I'm over him I'll rediscover myself naturally but she will help to rediscover myself sooner rather than later because it will be easier.
I'm feeling a little bit better, but I seem to be thinking about things a lot more than I usually do!
She wants to see me again next week and talk more about my past and about Ben and maybe more of my exes maybe mentioned :\


in my experience, i have found that to try to block out the past is one of the worst things you can do, suppression only leads to combustion later, emotions and cognitive repress are alot like volitile gasses, i've found it is best to accept the past and all of its experiences and learn from them. Breakups are difficult often times because we as time oriented beings feel that the time we spent with that person is now wasted and we are afraid that another opportunity is far off the horizon, just take the time to feel what you are feeling, EMBRACE YOUR EMOTIONS, suppressing them will only hurt you more later (which is how a therapist makes more money later) try to focus on the positive aspects of the situation and remember, nothing was a wasted experience unless you can't learn anything from it


well i am glad your feeling better, hope it continues richard, but be careful about letting her know everything about yourself, once its on record it is differcult to erase it, and under current legislation, if requested by govt/ police authorities, they will have access.


and you have the advantage of being so young, you are only 19 lol you have your whole life ahead of you to figure out who you are. i don't know anybody who knows who they are at your age. i know several who thought they did tho what you are experiencing is normal and natural and never let anyone tell you it is wrong to feel what you do, no matter what it is you are feeling


I really like your viewpoint Vicenzo. Good advice from life experience. Also really glad that Richard is giving himself time and space to think about where he is. Hope the consellor is helpful and gives you room to move for yourself. xx


Hooray Richard, you have taken a very positive step in talking with a counselor. I agree with what people are saying here, except "under current legislation, if requested by govt/ police authorities, they will have access."
Here in the US the records are confidential. Tell the counselor whatever you need to.


with all due respect, the lad lives in the UK.... things are different everywhere, where it is true that confidentiality is very real here, other places have different ideas about such concepts.


The laws and ethics on confidentiality ae the same in theUK as in the US. Confidentiality is maintained except when the client wants to harm self or others or the client abuses a child or eledly person.

Here's a link to what
i read: http://uk.answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20090923030400AAgbcVh.


Richard I am glad you are getting the help you need and even more gald you recognized you NEED the help That is a big step forward. Do keep us informed and know we are pulling for you...
Please get well..


I say well dqne.Richard. You have now taken the Vary first step toward`s
your Recovery. I must admit, i do agree with what Vicenzo had to
say,because he talk`s alot of Sense. As you can see, Richard we are all Behind you, with our Support. lol.


you have to be happy with in your self ,life is long and hard road to walk i hope you find your way

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