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Sam_Beckingham

Relationships - Gay Guys! <3

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Posted

I don't know what to do, really. Since I knew I was gay, and other people know, I haven't had a boyfriend. I've been told to wait and that love will find me, but maybe I'm just getting impatient now. A friend told me that I would find my guy when I went to sixth form, but I didn't in all the two years that I went there.
Now I'm on my gap year. I'm working in a hotel, in the restaurant. It's really great and you meet some amazing people, but I just don't know how I can meet someone. I don't really get much spare time anymore. I'm working pretty much every day, except Wednesday, and when I have time off, I'm not someone who likes to go out and do things. I'm one of those people that likes to make the most of enjoying doing nothing at home. I can't drive yet, which is probably why I don't go out. I was just wondering what you guys might think.
I'm still living with my family at the moment and I'll be going off to uni in September 2012.


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Posted

I know exactly how you feel man, but no matter how much you want a bf (And i still do too) its not the most important thing in your life.

You sound exactly like me dude with socialising, and even though I'm at a uni I hate (its not very good either, no LGBT group), it does make you meet a lot of people, even those you don't want to.

Stick with it man, and someone will turn up, Uni may improve things for you; you never know who's around the corner.


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Posted

i didnt come out til 26/7 so it wasnt a prob,,i was just lonely 24/7..im sure someone will come around when ur ready or not looking,,ive lost 3 partners thru them passing away,,wen i was at uni they had gay groups,,but i didnt join as i wasnt out n afraid to come out,,wasnt the thing to do so or i felt so ashamed as i didnt have family approval 20 yrs ago..good luck


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David_Cloud
Posted

I find the best thing is to make yourself mentally really receptive to the little signals and body language indicators that you get from other guys. I believe that we all almost automatically show when we like someone, not even necessarily thinking about them as a potential b/f or lover. Just someone who shows us a tiny kindness, or smiles at us etc can invoke a reaction from us. I guess you need to consciously try and fine tune these body language reactions, make sure you look at people's eyes (these are brilliant indicators of whther we like or dislike someone) and just go about in the world ready to take on little signals from others and then decide if you woul;d like to respond by sending a little signal (smile, kind eyes etc) back to them....Anyway, this is what I have always tried to do! Let me know how you get on. I wish you luck, and if you want to chat etc come back to me. xx


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Jose_Fernandes-Dias
Posted

hi Sam! I've been reading your profile carefully, and the above messages too.
It's strange what you tell! you are a handsome boy!
I think David is very right: and be sure you will find the bf you wish!
kiss


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Ryan_Siriwardene
Posted

Hey Sam

I feel you too. I am 28 and yet to be in a relationship too.
Dont know why as guys on here and people who I meet say I have a beautiful smile etc.

I am starting to understanding what they mean when they say dont look for love, it will find you. I have come to a stage in my life where I am so comfortable with myself and that took awhile to come about.

In a sense if you love yourself that is what truly matters. Boyfriend comes second as you do not want to settle for anyone.

Go with David says with the little signal (I think I will use that too David) and if guys knock you back keep trying.

Hope that helps!


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Timothy_Brown
Posted

Very good advice Ryan!


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Posted

Thanks for all your advice, guys, although there's a problem. I haven't seen many gay guys. I can try and perceive these little signals, but when everyone around me is straight, I don't think anything is going to happen.
There was a time in the hotel where this customer needed to charge the meal to his room and he was saying how everyone wants his signature. He signed it, but forgot his room number. When he was prompted, he asked if my female colleague was going to go up to his room later, but she said I'll be going up instead. Obviously it was only a joke, but I was actually quite temted! The more I thought about it, the more I wanted to forget work and make my way to his room. However, I don't know if he was with two sisters or a girlfriend or something, so it probably would have been very awkward if I had gone up to his room.
Other than that little joke, I haven't come across a chance for anything.


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Posted

You'll just have to meet people I think Sam, the only way to do it. I don't mean clubs and gay bars (they're just there for one night stands and to help pass on aids really :P), but meeting other gay guys in your area.

Check if there's an LGBT at your uni, there should be one, if so go to their events and meet them! For now though, perhaps using sites like this would be no bad thing, just to talk to other gay guys might help you a bit.

I know it has for me.


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