Jump to content
Jony_Star

Jony's Update - Gay Guys! <3

Recommended Posts

Posted

wow tried for the longest time to think of a topic...but can't seem to think of anything...so i decided to make this a Jony's Update...well had dream the other day...i don't know how many of you have a good memory of things i've said on this site...but for those who don't remember & for those who don't know the situation...i'll fill you in...a week before my birthday last yr...wait...or was it this year...time flies so fast i can't remember...but i think it's was this year...well anywho...i ended my friendship with a very strong best friend...i thought of her as my sister...we were super close...had our adventures together...went to school together...did almost everything together...i thought our friendship could endure anything and everything...but it seems that i was wrong...for a reason still unknown to this day...she asked me to give her some space...and i did...gave her a whole yr to herself...one day i wanted to surprise her and go to her house...but she didn't want me to go...and asked me not to go to her house uninvited...so she continued to push me away...and well i was pretty vulnerable already...from being isolated from my other friends...she was the one i thought i could count on to be there for me when i needed her...and when that time came...she wasn't there...you would think that after a whole year you would wanna catch up...but not even that...she has no cell...so i couldn't call her...the only way for me to talk to her was to go to her house...and she didn't want to see me...i was angry...because if she wanted to end the friendship...she should've just said so...instead of me having to wait for her...and well my other friends haven't given up on her...but i pretty much have...and i really have no future intentions to restore that lost friendship...in fact that was my dream a few days ago...i had a dream of her trying to come back to our group...my other 2 friends welcomed her back...but well i didn't...i refused...she asked to talk to me in private and tried to explain...but even with her explanations...i refused...she apologized to me...and i accepted her apology...but i made it clear that i don't have any interest in restoring that friendship anymore...it's fine if she wanted to hang out with us...but the Jony she knew was gone and there wasn't anything she could do to bring him back...and as i'm writing this and remembering...it still hurts...hurts that she can't trust me with whatever she's going thru...to know that i guess i wasn't considered that much of best friend...to have been lied to when she said she's considered me as her brother...all that happiness...all those great memories...all of them a lie...she tried to convince me that it wasn't like that...but that's the way i feel...and you can't question the way i feel...she was sad...and that's when i woke up...i have difficulties letting go of the past...you would think that with my optimism and my ideals...that things such as these should be easy...but things are never easy...but they're also not impossible...certain things take time...wounds need time to heal...i can only hope my wounds from the past heal soon...because i do want to leave that all behind me...there are more important things...like getting a job and continuing on with my life...can't and shouldn't be spending it on thinking about the past...but well i've gotten it off my chest now...so i feel better...always feels great knowing that i have you guys are here and take the time to hear me out...so thanks to all you guys for your friendship...know that i appreciate and love all of you guys...hugs and kisses to all...damn i write a lot...lol...


Share this post


Link to post
Richard_Edwards
Posted

It's good for you to write what you feel. Thanks for letting us see this part of your life.


Share this post


Link to post
Posted

well it feels good to know that i can count on you guys too...cuz to this day i'm still kinda isolated from my other two best friends...but that's cuz they're usually really busy...with their jobs and all...and well my friend nyque who you could say basically replaced this lost friend...doesn't have a cell either at the moment...but we write whenever we can on facebook...so i'm not that isolated...but well i like sharing things...always open to other's insights and opinions...we always need other people to help us see the light at the end of the tunnel...when we can't find our way...and i'm happy to count on this community as my 2nd group of friends...


Share this post


Link to post
Keith_Imeson
Posted

friendships come and go for differt reasons.i,ve had relationships where the one i love gets married but i still love them and see them on a regulery bases and theres other where i don,t see them as much but were still friends. it,s good that you can talk about it


Share this post


Link to post
Posted

yep...cuz i can't really keep all of this to myself...i explode...which causes me to vent out so many thoughts and feelings...and well i don't do very well in that kind of vunerable state...is it just me or is this spell check kinda weird...i think i'm sure that i spelled vunerable right...didn't I...i mean i know we're not in English class but still the fact that it's underlined as if it was wrong is getting to me...even when i spelled teleportation it underlines it...& i definitely know i spelled that right...i guess they need to fix that spell check...lol...


Share this post


Link to post
Richard_Edwards
Posted

correct spelling:
vulnerable
teleportation you had this right
I checked these words on dictionary.com


Share this post


Link to post
Posted

oh yea how could i forget the L...vulnerable...yep now it doesn't light up...lol...duh Jony get with the program...haha...


Share this post


Link to post

×