Before you embark upon an endless dating marathon, you need to be in the right place – physically and mentally. How are you feeling? If you’re desperate and are exhibiting all the charm of a Bunny Boiler you’re on the road to absolute ruin. Take stock of previous dating disasters and relationships. What is it you want to achieve? How and why have things gone calamitously wrong in the past? Only by spending time in your own company can you begin to like yourself a bit more – and understand what you’re looking for in your romantic exploits.
You’re not at a job interview or filling in some tedious form, so scrap the obvious “where are you from?” “what do you like?” questions. You can get the answers craftily, by engaging him in intelligent, playful conversation. Pick up on his body language when he talks – it will tell you a lot about what he likes. Exploit that and go with the flow. Clunky conversation is just damn right embarrassing. Dating is not a tick-box exercise.
How many times have you been attracted to the bad boys? What is it about them that turns you on? Bad guys are mostly mysterious, emotionally unavailable and probably have more than a generous helping of narcissism – if not outright psychopathy. Pepper your conversation with a mild hint of these traits. Become intriguing – subtly allude to a darker aspect of your character – and then reveal no more. Think of yourself as an exotic, intoxicating cocktail: a mixture of bitterness as well as sweetness – that unique taste which will have him sipping from your cup in no time.
Do bad boys turn you on?
Men – at least the truly alluring ones – have considerable egos. While you should avoid the guy with the ego the size of the sun, you can’t deny that confidence in a man is attractive. Turn this to your advantage. Flatter him and make him feel like he truly is the hottest guy in the room. But be subtle and flirtatious. Desperation is a truly devastating look.
No, we’re not talking about grabbing his bulging package as you say your goodbyes, but human beings communicate not only through conversation but the power of touch, the sensation of skin against skin. Brush against him as you walk to the bar; place your hand on top of his shoulder as you get up to go to the bathroom. Just don’t let it linger there or you’ll come across as a needy one-man freak show.
We’re living in an age when we’re more connected than ever but strangely less connected than ever; it can’t hurt to reiterate it. You need to be in the room entirely with your guy, which means no perusing of Facebook or Instagram – and certainly no checking our other nearby guys on the apps.
Put it away, man!
How many times have you heard guys say, “gay dating is so difficult!”. Cut out the complaining and get on with it. It does not need to be a chore; in fact, it’s up to you to make it fun and playful. Dating is just meeting other people – which is what makes us human. Leave your expectations at the door and treat it for what it is. And banish fear forever more! You have absolutely nothing to lose and everything to gain. Become the confident, sassy, sexy creature you’ve always desired – and soon you’ll need a social secretary to manage your diary full of Gentleman Callers.
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