I'm a gay guy who is attracted to younger guys: there I've admitted it. I'm quite open about it, but I appreciate those age difference relationships can come with their baggage.Whatever it is, and whatever our preference, one thing you can always count on is the opinion of those around you. As is the case with comedian Stephen Fry, 57, when he announced his marriage plans to Elliott Spencer, 27, has proved. It was the same when British Olympic diver Tom Daley (pictured above) got together with screenwriter Dustin Lance Black, despite a 20-year gap.
It's true that some age differences are fine and accepted, and I think it's also easier the older the guys in question are. For example, if a couple is aged 25 and 35, people may notice but not question it so much. And if two people together are 45 and 65, the same could also be said. However, if you're 20 and 40, people will talk, so why is that?
As well as numbers, other factors come into play. Things such as health and fitness are going to be huge contributors. There are very fit 50-year-olds; trim, keeping in shape, going to the gym and look great. A healthy older person with an average-looking younger guy may not raise many eyebrows as say, an older man who is overweight and maybe showing his years through too much alcohol or smoking. Lifestyle factors will also contribute; what kind of career you're in or were in, dress sense, financial situation, etc.
Stephen Fry and Elliott Spencer. Photo: David Mirzoeff/National Pictures
If we were to look at the various pros and con's of relationships with age gaps, people might say:
Your mentalities might match better than someone of your age
Learning: older guys can share their life experiences with younger guys; the younger guy can show the older man new things.
Advantage of two varying groups of friends coming together
One of you might live longer than the other
Tastes might vary considerably
The pace in fitness, or in the bedroom!
But each of these points could be argued. Just because one of you is 60 and your partner is 40, with modern life as hectic as it is, the older guy may well live longer than the younger one.
Actor Matt Bomer, 36, and Simon Hall, 49, his publicist, are happily together.
The opinions of friends do matter to us, and as humans, we're very conscious of what people think of us. But one step further from friends is your partner's parents. They are someone you want on your side, and if they disapprove things could get messy.
Ultimately, if two people of consenting legal age love each other, then what does it matter what anyone else thinks? We in the LGBT community more than anyone know and accept that partners are not for life. Although we all dream of our partner being there forever, the reality is, humans aren't built that way. We may go into a relationship hoping for a long and happy time with them and if it lasts forever then great - if it lasts a year then great too. Make the best of today, whatever day it is, and let tomorrow take care of itself when it arrives. Happy loving, no matter who you choose.
If you're in an age gap relationship, comment below what you think makes it work, how big the age gap, and if separated, what you think made it fail?
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