We LOVE all things vintage here at Gays.com, but that doesn't extend to profile pictures. We don't want to see a pic of you from 1995 and neither does anyone else. Having an online profile is a lot like being on display in a shop window: we all want to show our best side, the problem comes if the goods are not as displayed, then you might be taken back for a refund or tossed in the trash! Make sure the images you use to sell yourself are representative of how you are today. Nobody likes to be misled, so avoid being rejected by being honest about your appearance.
Taking 5 or 10 minutes to complete a profile text and your stats helps others know more about you as a person and your sexual interests. It also helps reassure guys that your profile is real and not a fake. Be clear about what you're looking for (and what you're not); your types, turn ons/offs, etc. If someone writes to you and they're not a match for you, you can then easily refer them back to your text and wish them good luck in their search.
You may be using a computer or a smartphone, but you're communicating with a human being. If you're not interested in someone, reject them with tact and don't be nasty. Treat people how you would like to be treated. If someone is writing offensive or abusive messages to you, report and block them: that way you can keep the community better for others too. People who hate are looking for a reaction – don't give them the satisfaction by just ignoring them.
Yes, we want to know what your interests are, but keep any racist stuff to yourself. Stating things like 'no blacks/Asians/whites/whatever' is deeply offensive. Words can hurt. I'm not bothered if a guy tells me he's not into guys with a shaved head, but issues of race have deeper problems and connotations attached. Can you reject an entire race based on colour/presumptions? It's always best to state what you are in to, rather than the other way around.
If you have bareback sex frequently, don't lie on your profile and list 'always safer sex'. If you say 'no drugs' but are a bit of a meth head, admit it. Why give a false impression unless you have something to hide or are ashamed of your actions? The more people are honest about their sexual habits and fetishes, the better. Oh, and if you reckon your dick is XXL, check this chart out below. No one likes a bragger, especially if they have no idea what they are talking about.
And we're talking inches, not centimetres!
Are 'hi, how are you?', 'up for fun?' 'what are you looking for?' relevant first messages? Be original. Be funny. Using humour will grab some attention. Also, try not to ask questions all the time: online dating isn't an interview. Read someone's profile and comment on things they talk about or tell them if you share things in common. It can be off-putting to be constantly asked questions. Think outside the box.
Just cos you're gagging for some bum fun RIGHT THIS MINUTE does NOT mean that your potential fuck-date is also free. Maybe they're at work and just checking messages now and again. Maybe they're out with friends and sneaking a cheeky peek (which, BTW, is so bloody rude). Don't demand responses or start with the whole 'Are you still there?' 'Have I done something to offend you?' as you'll just end up looking like a STALKER, which leads us nicely to...
If you don't get a response from someone, take the hint. Don't keep bugging them with messages: you'll end up pissing them off and getting blocked. Don't take things personally: understand that we're all looking for different things and just move on. Similarly, not everyone has the time or inclination to reply to all their messages.
Snaps of someone pulling their cheeks apart in front of a mirror? Like a crater waiting to be filled. Vomit.
OK, so you've been exchanging messages, and it looks like you're going to get together. Have a quick chat on the phone before meeting. It gives you a better impression of him, and you can tell if he's for real or not and legitimate. A faker or game player will be less inclined to give out their number. Be prepared to have a conversation, after all, you'll probably have his dick in your mouth in less than hour, so we're sure you can manage a few words of conversation first.
On more than one occasion I've turned up at a guy's place, rang the bell, and had no answer. Same when I then tried to call them. Timewasters are the worst! If you've agreed to a meet, have the decency to go through with it. Likewise, if you've decided to meet someone at their place, make sure you show up... and on time! If something does come up, and you're running late or cannot make it, have the decency to let them know as soon as possible with a call or WhatsApp. If you have a sinking feeling he won't show up, arrange first to meet at some place you'd want to go anyway, e.g., in a coffee shop. Remember, gay guys gossip on these websites, so if you're the one doing the timewasting, you may get a bad rap if you play that game too many times.
If, when you finally meet your online hookup he isn't what he made himself out to be, remember: you're under no obligation to have sex with someone, regardless of what you may have communicated online earlier. A simple 'sorry, I've changed my mind' will do. But, if the guy meets your expectations, enjoy it and be welcoming. Offer him a drink, engage in some conversation before you whip your pants down and offer him a shower after you've done the business... and who knows, even a bit of a cuddle?
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