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  1. Yesterday
  2. no i don't think so wish I could find one (a top) in Manchester
  3. Last week
  4. Thanks for all your posts, guys. Much appreciated. I've worked this one out... I ended the relationship. Fucking other guys in a relationship doesn't fly with me. He wanted more, so he can go find it somewhere else!!
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  6. From our latest magazine post 'The pleasures of being a slut', do you think that guys who enjoy lots of no-strings sex are looked down upon? Answer below or take our quick poll.
  7. In the US and countries in Europe, equal marriage rights is something many thought would never happen. But does it force a new form of conformity and respectability on gay men – making those who enjoy lots of no strings sex the new outcasts? Alex Hopkins speaks to gay men who are unapologetic about enjoying sex without attachment. Richard, age 41, London For me being a slut means enjoying a natural impulse – giving in to base desires and drives and not trying to restrict oneself for the sake of respectability. I’m able to separate love and sex easily. I find sex can be quite transactional, but that doesn’t make it any less enjoyable if all participants feel similarly. I would only emotionally invest in sex if I were interested in a relationship with the person. Regarding ‘slutty sex’, the attraction is the thrill of doing something naughty and unrespectable in polite society. Are gay men more promiscuous than straight men? I suspect they are, but I guess it’s only anecdotal knowledge. You hear most straight men say women don’t want sex as much as them and are unlikely or unwilling to divorce it from feelings of attachment, wanting to breed or being ‘in love’. I think men can compartmentalise feelings more (whatever their sexuality) - but straight guys are less likely to act on the impulse. Do I feel that gay marriage has led to those gay men, not in a relationship being looked down on? I don’t care what other people think – again, ‘marriage’ is bringing us all under the veil of ‘respectability’ and anyone who already feels like an outsider and who isn’t bothered about being part of the status quo should be resisting that anyway. Don’t conform because of what others think – do what you feel is right for you – follow your own path. Rad, 28, London I think sex is a wonderful thing to be enjoyed with whoever you want, whether you're emotionally attached to them or whether it's someone you meet on an app. As long as all people involved are having fun, I see no harm in it. I think all men are promiscuous, but gay men get more sex because it's easy to find. It may be a bit more complicated for straight men, as women have always had an image to uphold in society, so they’re not branded sluts or promiscuous. If a woman has lots of sexual partners, she's looked down on, while men are applauded, which is wrong. No one should be judged on the number of sexual partners they have. Yes, I guess I would describe myself as a ‘slut’ – and others have called me that, but I don't see it as a negative thing. I do what I enjoy, and I don't mind what other people say about it. I think some people think I’m ‘slutty’ for having sex with random people from apps and going cruising. I prefer sex to be an activity that has no emotional attachment - which also might be considered slutty. I don't think gay marriage has anything to do with how gay men who aren't monogamous or don't settle down are viewed. I think gay marriage is a step forward in promoting equal rights. It should be available if you want it but it should not be a life goal for everyone. Anyone who looks down on men (or women for that matter) that don't settle down need to mind their own business. Not everyone needs a partner to be happy. Alberto, 30, Barcelona I’m one hundred percent liberated when it comes to sex. I like it, I love it, can't get enough – ever since I was a teen. Maybe I am overly sexual, which has led to misunderstandings in the past - men thinking that sex meant something else when it didn't. Would I describe myself as a ‘slut’? Yes! And my response when people call me a slut is 'I bet you wish you were getting laid this often', or simply 'you wish you had an open mind to enjoy yourself as you want.' I go cruising, cottaging, to dark rooms, I even try to flirt with men on the street, public transport…whatever. Threesomes, orgies, anything 'slutty’! Has gay marriage led to gay men who don’t settle down in a monogamous relationship being looked down upon? Yes, I think it has – but that comes from people who will cast their expectations on others. I’m happy with myself first, and then, maybe with someone else, but even when I’m in love with a guy, I still lust after other men. SP, 54, South East England I've never understood this idea that promiscuity was somehow wrong. Equally, that having lots of sex with different partners, was somehow indicative of low self-worth: to me, and it seemed, to my friends, it was the opposite. Being "a slut" meant having fun, being attractive, was life-affirming and good for the self-esteem. Sex isn't something to be confined to other single people, a single act, or a single fetish. It’s a natural expression of deep urges, somewhat outside of the civilised and sanitised world that we humans have constructed for ourselves - and we should glory in that. I went through a period of depression over a couple of years, where my sex drive diminished to near zero and my confidence disappeared. I mourned for it, mourned for the feelings, the sex, the intensity of it. As it came back my life brightened, I met some great people (one in particular who probably has no idea how much he helped me recover by his utter brazenness; his joy in sex, his sluttishness with me). Why do gay men have more sex? Because we can, because we're men and enjoy things being done to and with our cocks, arses, mouths. The Neo-Puritanism of many younger gays, those falling for the heteronormative idea of sexual fidelity forever, amazes and depresses me. We’re all supposed to be ‘grateful’ for ‘equality’, but this has come only by neutering gay men, making them ‘just like us’. It ignores that the vast majority of long-term gay male partnerships were not based on sexual fidelity. This idea of ‘The One’, that if you ‘truly love someone’ then you wouldn't have sex with anyone else.... It's a total lie (even in many straight marriages), yet one is supposed to laud it as the pinnacle of fulfilment. Well, bollocks to that! Share your thoughts on this article below.
  8. Hi Brave-Heart miss u bud its been ages. I didn't know there was a docu about Greg Louganis, mm sounds interesting I should watch it.
  9. Hi there Bottom4bare welcome to Gays.com
  10. What lengths will gay men go to boost their cock size? Alex Hopkins takes a look at the world of penis enlargement. Everyone’s spam email folder is the same, packed full of emails promising the holy grail: penis enlargement. “Super-size your schlong,” “Wallop-up your wanger,” “Pump up that prick.” We all know that sex sells – as does anything that offers the faintest chance of being bigger and better at it. Today, porn is more prevalent than ever before, and it’s not so easy to avoid all those pictures of horse-hung studs in the gay magazines, is it? Then there are the billboards: with the likes of David Beckham and David Gandy leering down at you in their bulging briefs as you buy your fruit and veg. But if you feel like you’ve got a toothpick down there rather than a power tool, what can you do about it? Pump it up The vacuum pump is probably the most familiar way of doubling up that dick. The premise is simple: it draws blood into your cock, making it swell to allegedly gargantuan proportions. The effect, of course, is temporary. But be warned: using a pump too frequently can risk damaging all that fragile elastic tissue in your shaft, meaning that in the long-term, those powerful erections might be more of a challenge. Jelqing ‘n jacking off Jelqing (even the word sounds sexual, doesn’t it?) is a fancy name for exercises to improve the size of your endowment: a hand-over-hand motion to, yes, you guessed it, push the blood up from the base to the tip of your tonsil-teaser. Like so many promised cures, there’s no real scientific proof that it works. Dodgy dick drugs And here we come to the spam emails you get every day, promising all sorts of wonders with just one little pill. The cold hard truth is that none of these are scientifically proven to work and are likely to leave your bank balance as limp as your dick – and could be dangerous. Silicone scandals Oh, the desperate measures some guys will go to emulate their porn idol – or even enter the industry themselves. Yes, invite some complete phony round to inject some mystery fluid from a milk bottle into your one-eyed monster. Sounds ludicrous, doesn’t it? But horror stories abound about mutating silicone. Don’t go there - if you don’t end up with an amputated cock, the shame at the emergency room will likely kill you. Promising penoplasty? The biggest hope for penis enlargement (or so people think) is surgery. Penoplasty isn’t for the faint-hearted: the severing of ligaments and redistribution of fat isn’t exactly a turn on, is it? Still, more and more men are going to under the knife – but the jury is still out on whether it actually works. Reality check! OK, let’s keep it simple and brutal: none of the above guarantee you’re going to turn into Jeff Stryker - so what can you do? Banish that Bush It’s not rocket science – excessive foliage at the base of your meat is going to obscure its full glory. Get out the sit on mower. Trim to win! Cut through the fat A no-brainer: exercise. Shed that beer belly, and you’re not going to have that flabby shelf hanging over your pork sword, are you? Don’t let is dwindle away in the shadow of too many Kebabs – let it shine! Tools and talking Talk to your partner – learn what they want to get up to between the sheets. Be imaginative. Stop getting so hung up on size – everyone lies about it anyway. Remember, if you think you’re small, you may just be average. If you think you’re huge, there’s always going to be some hungry bottom ready to destroy your fragile ego and tell you it didn’t even touch the sides – so just chill!
  11. Thanks Andy, really appreciate your feedback. Hope things are good with you!
  12. Love it Mark although I kinda got use to the old one but hey can't stop progress LOL
  13. I uploaded a photo and I'm also going to do some detoxing (early spring cleaning I might say...LOL) I never done it before. Bought a roll abs and a 10 pound weight, not wanting to be big or anything just want to be fit and define (mm did I spell that right?)
  14. Male pattern baldness terrifies many gay men. But it can be treated if caught early enough, as Alex Hopkins found out. Guys say so much with their hair (or lack of it), and for those of us who lose our hair, the shaven-headed look is perhaps the easiest option. Well, it’s either that or sporting a comb-over, which is never a good idea. But the truth is that baldness suits some men more than others, and for the majority of gay men, losing their hair is second only to being castrated. I've had a complicated relationship with my hair. Born a redhead, at eighteen I began dyeing it. Coming out signaled a new start, and changing your hair is the cheapest way to fiddle with your identity. The results varied – once it turned purple – but who cared? I was shunning my biological roots and even went as far as ensuring my pubes matched. Just when I thought I finally looked good, along came the dreaded male pattern baldness. How I convinced myself it would never happen to me, is hard to fathom given that my father is practically bald, as were my grandfathers on both sides. But to start losing my hair at age 28 seemed impossibly cruel. At seventeen, I developed chronic acne, but at least I could try (and mostly fail) to cover up the horror. Staring compulsively at my receding hairline in the mirror, I almost wished the spots came back. Losing hair can have a big impact on confidence levels What were the options open to me? Could I just let it all fall out gracefully and accept it? I contemplated that for five minutes and then looked at my father. No, thanks. What about a wig? The only gay men I knew of with those were Elton John and Liberace. Neither particularly appealed. I whipped myself into turmoil, unable to talk to anyone about this for fear they’d (correctly) think my vanity knew no bounds. And then along came Propecia – the only clinically proven treatment for hair loss, which when combined with Minoxidil fluid can, I was told, have amazing effects. I reached for my credit card and hurried along to The Belgravia Centre, the UK’s leading hair loss clinic. I was about as nervous walking in there as I had been when I came out to my father. Confronting reality – in this case with a mirror held to my head by a physician – is never easy. Propecia in a bottle Ever a cynic, I didn’t expect the private prescriptions I received for the year ahead to work – but each month on returning to the clinic, I saw an improvement – my ginger locks were sprouting back. If I’d left it much later, this wouldn’t have happened. It’s crucial, you see, to hit the Propecia as quickly as possible to turn back time, as Cher would say. Ten years later and I’m astonished the drugs are still working – and my hair is as thick as ever. Just beware: stop taking it for two weeks, and you can expect to start losing it again, this is a treatment for life. But you don’t have to spend thousands getting prescriptions from clinics: Finasteride, generic Propecia, is widely and safely available online, and it does the same job. The period I initially undertook the treatment coincided with a significant change of direction in my life - striking out as a full-time writer. The hair on my head mirrored my mindset – it bolstered my confidence and nerve. And you know the biggest surprise of all? I finally accepted being ginger, and even grew to like it – as, to my even greater surprise, have many others!
  15. I can help you accomplish your goal to tone and lose weight and have safe results in 2017.
  16. Tried it. Result was the end of our 8yr relationship. Good luck which ever path you choose because as you said your damned if you do and damned if you don't x
  17. i wouldn't mind being your friend
  18. At the age of 46, after 4 lovers of which one was 'the love of my life' I decided--made the choice--that I wanted to and was better off living alone. I am now 81 and have never regretted it. I am not a hermit and have made a family of friends who I share things with when I want to--and, yes, I have the freedom of having sex when, where and with whom I want. I may be alone but I am not lonely. By the way there is only one downside I can see of being alone---when you are old and get sick!!! :O)
  19. Hello all. I'm a bi bottom that, thanks to my "straight" side of me, I enjoy cd'ing when I play. I know. Not for everyone but some are into it. I you want to chat drop me a message or find me on kik. Thisguywantsfun
  20. Hi everyone, its been so long since I posted anything here. My question is how do I loose these love handles, is there any type of exercise I should do and type of food(s) I should be eating. Thanks
  21. With the release of his new film Call me a Ghost, independent filmmaker, Noel Alejandro is fast becoming one of the most promising creators of adult gay movies. With his unique talent, Noel is breaking the mold by creating new forms of gay pornography that blur the lines that separate porn from art. Gays.com caught up with Noel in his hometown of Barcelona to talk about the philosophy of his films. You direct independent gay porn movies. What is your problem with mainstream pornography? I have no problem with mainstream pornography at all. I am a consumer of mainstream porn, and I love it! But the question is: why do 99% of porn movies all look the same? How come nobody is doing things differently? When I worked with indie adult filmmaker Erika Lust some years ago, I noticed what porn can also be. There is so much more to explore. Would you call your films pornography? Well, I wouldn't call my work porn, I see it more as kind of independent cinema. But of course, I don’t want to lie to anybody. I know I am making sex films, but real sex doesn't exist in mainstream cinema. All the sex scenes are cut, and the actors don't really have convincing sex, and it was frustrating for me to figure this out. Why is it not possible to show real sex in films? Why is it not possible to just make a regular movie – combining good storytelling with intense feelings and real, authentic sex? Maybe we have to create a new genre of sex films here. I noticed that most people don't know how to label my movies, they call my work soft porn. But they are not soft porn, my films include explicit sex. "Most people do not know how to label my films. They call my films soft porn. But they are not soft porn, my films include explicit sex." What did you learn from working with Erika Lust? What can gay pornography learn from feminist pornography? What I learned from Erika Lust was that porn can be entirely different. There are still a lot of things to experiment with, and maybe, this is what feminism is trying to show us. There is always something more to explore, including different fields of sexuality. But again, there's nothing wrong with mainstream gay porn, as long as there is an alternative as well. What is your opinion about bareback in porn films? The base of my philosophy is that I am making cinema, not porn. So what is cinema? Cinema is fiction. You are telling a story in the way you need it to be told. I'm not here to teach anybody, and I don’t want to have this responsibility. Most of the time I let my actors choose if they want to use condoms or not, and it's fine for me if they do it without. Of course, they get tested before and sometimes the actors are couples, and they already know each other for a long time. It's entirely up to them, they're adults like we are all adults and they know what they're doing. .embed-container { position: relative; padding-bottom: 56.25%; height: 0; overflow: hidden; max-width: 100%; } .embed-container iframe, .embed-container object, .embed-container embed { position: absolute; top: 0; left: 0; width: 97%;height: 100%; } "thank you..". by Noel Alejandro Trailer from Noel Alejandro on Vimeo. Is there a script for your films? Are the actors free in what they do and how they act? Yes, there is a script. It is almost impossible to make a film without one. But I try to give freedom to the actors for improvisation, most of them are not professional actors, and sometimes improvisation really is necessary - it can make the film much more natural. Where do you get your stories from? The stories of my films are directly linked to my life. Everything I do is a mix of what I experience in life. Inspiration can be found everywhere; in the movies I watch, in the music I listen to, in the emotions I feel. Everything that inspires you can create a story in your mind. Porn activists like Tim Stüttgen, Laura Mérrit or Beatriz Paul Preciado pointed out that porn always is political. Are there any political statements or issues in your films? Everything I do is kind of political, and so are my movies. I want to show that sex can be something very positive. When most of the world is against gay sex and homosexuality, it's vital to show sex - and especially gay sex - as what it is: something natural, great and amazing. It is vital to show gay sex as what it is: something natural, great and amazing. Your new movie 'Call me a Ghost' will be released soon. What can viewers expect? My new movie is a quite dark: it's about depression. However, it's a beautiful and sad movie at the same time. This is kind of new I guess: a sad, sex film, but it's still erotic! The actor's performance is stunning, Valentin Braun is particularly impressive. I really enjoyed working with him, and I hope that people will love our work too. Love to see more of Noel's work? No problem! Check out Noel Alejandro's films here or follow him on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram! All images © 2013 - 2016 Noel Alejandro
  22. Hey. I used to think like you did, and I know it's hard. Sometimes it can take time to find what you're looking for. It took years for me find someone special. My advice is to concentrate on yourself while you're looking and become the best person you can be... because when that person comes along, they'll be blown away. It'll get better, believe me.
  23. London’s gay scene has undergone significant changes in recent years, but there’s still much to enjoy, says Alex Hopkins. I still remember my first visit to Old Compton Street, at the heart of London’s gay Soho. I was 18, covered in acne (badly caked over using excessive amounts of cheap concealer), wearing a bright orange fake-silk shirt and a too-tight pair of jeans. Like so many things, it seemed like a good idea at the time. I was yet to come out but knew from gay folklore that Soho was the place for all young gay people to go. It promised a nirvana, a world free of prejudice; I soon became addicted. Over the next ten years I think it’s fair to say that I was mentioned in the fire instructions of many of the gay bars in Soho – and back then, there were plenty of them, catering to every conceivable taste. It was the 1990s, the internet was young, and LGBT bars and clubs were still the focal points of the community. Yes, there was Gaydar, but if you wanted to get laid, the most obvious place was in a gay venue. Things were thriving. Fast forward another decade, and London’s LGBT landscape is barely recognisable. Scores of venues have closed all over the city, rocked by spiralling property prices. The economic reality is incredibly tough for small, independent businesses who are falling victims to the chains which now dominate the once quirky streets. This has happened in East London and now the Vauxhall gay village, but nowhere has been harder hit than Soho. Last year, Ben Walters, writing in the Guardian reported that more than a dozen LGBT spaces had closed in the capital, while a handful of other LGBT establishments were at risk. The Yard, one of Soho’s most popular gay bars, has fought a long and public battle against closure, while The Black Cap – though not in Soho but nearby Islington and one of the city’s most iconic LGBT venues – sadly lost its fight in April 2015. It’s not, however, just a matter of rising rents and the onslaught of luxury housing: the dominance of gay hookup apps means that people are certainly going out less. But as the author Timothy Graves observed: "It may be tempting to sit at home flipping through countless profiles on your iPhone, chemed-up on a cocktail of drugs while waiting for some random to turn up at your doorstep. But is it as much fun as dancing the night away with friends or opening up to the potential for that chance encounter with someone you like?" We may be able to do little about extortionate property prices, but all LGBT people can vote with their feet by supporting the remaining establishments as much as possible. In doing so, we can help preserve them for the next generation of gay people who are looking for more fulfilling first-time experiences than swiping at anonymous torsos on a Smartphone. Strange, isn’t it, we live in a world which has never been so well connected by technology, and yet so many of us feel more disconnected than ever. The good news, however, is that there are still some important and vibrant LGBT bars in Soho offering us all the space to create those life-affirming connections. Here’s my pick: The Yard The Yard is truly unique – and needs to survive! Set around a courtyard – great in the summer – it’s on two levels, offering cocktails, exceptionally hot bar staff and a great meeting space for friends, fun and frolics. 57 Rupert Street, London, W1D 7PL The Friendly Society One of gay Soho’s best kept secrets is set on a tiny alley where prostitutes still ply their trade – you can’t get more traditional Soho than that! Politely rebuff the ladies’ advances and descend into this delightfully quirky bar with super cool tunes, a goldfish tank and Barbie dolls stapled to the ceiling. 79 Wardour Street, London, W1D 6QG Comptons Soho just wouldn’t be the same without the venerable Comptons. It’s been going since 1986, and what you see is what you get: no attitude and men – much like the building – who are big and built to last. 51-53 Old Compton Street, London, W1D 6HN Molly Moggs Molly Moggs, set on the corner of Old Compton Street and Charing Cross Road, is a Soho institution. There’s cabaret every night of the week from the best drag queens in the business. It’s tiny, very friendly and things can get wonderfully messy – which is just how Soho should be, of course. 2 Old Compton Street, London, W1D 4TA
  24. Ur relationship is over really 3way won't work as ur not comfortable with it, he will and probably has been with other guys,
  25. You know,I am still young ,but sometimes I wonder,for how long I will be by myself.There are so many people around the whole world,but we are still searching for the right person ,and we are still alone. Some people were born to be loved,others - to love.But what if some people are not supposed to be loved ,but want it so bad? As for me, I was a total loser in love, as I was never been loved ,but I loved . And every day of my life , I am just thinking: when all my sufferings and bad days are gone,when I will be happy ? But may be this day will never come ... May be I was born not for love?
  26. i would not do it if he is not happy just with you then tell him to move on down the road he will only do it behine your back trust me I know after 16 years with the same man I am still single and looking in Canada
  27. Hmmm where you from
  28. I've been together and living with my boyfriend for over a year, and now he says he wants to open up the relationship. Part of me feels up for it, but can't help feel totally uncomfortable with it. We've spoken about it and he knows that I'm worried if I go along with it, it might totally fuck everything up in terms of seeing him being fucked by someone else. And if I say no, I feel like he'll probably want to go and fuck around anyway... Anyone with a similar experience? Can't get this shit around my head...
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